False Advertising

03 Feb

I don’t think it counts if you reach your adult height at ten.

Didn’t Complan taste like the hospital? There was something vaguely medicinal about its taste, I think. Well, at least drinking the stuff got them a decent set of abs and boobies.

I'm a Complan Girl. Look at my proof! LOOK AT IT!

Seriously, I don’t think there’s a single pic of this woman on the internet without her fameballs front and center. Nagesh Kukunoor and his widow’s burqa must have been the only time those things got a day off.

I'm a Complan Boy! A few inches short maybe, but I'm a running, dancing machine!

I knew Tamilians loved Ayesha (ahem!) but I didn’t know they were also the only ones to preserve Shahid’s childhood successes!


Posted by on February 3, 2010 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Video


25 responses to “False Advertising

  1. sunil

    February 3, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    Ya, but what happened to the ORIGINAL complan boy and girl? These are duplicate maal!

    • sunil

      February 3, 2010 at 4:57 pm

      There is something about finding out that Ayesha was the 2nd complan girl that was vaguely troubling to me – thought about it, and this is it – It makes me lose just that bit more that naive belief in the boundless potential of the human spirit.* 🙂

      *I am sure Ayesha is a nice girl and I bet she is smarter than everyone’s favorite Vidya Balan, but still. 🙂

      • sachita

        February 4, 2010 at 2:05 am

        believe it or not, when Ayesha debut movie socha na tha was released she was talked about for her acting skills.

  2. See See!

    February 3, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Ya, ya I just seconded your caption with “See”-squared (cue: Mard-ess, though on second thought this warrants a D-squared something!).

    And you’re right — 23 vital foods, yet tastes like the hospital? WTF! I never fell for the drink, growing up (was more of a “Champion White Oats” girl).

    I tend to agree with Sunil that these two are (updated if not entirely) “duplicate maal” – the Complan Boy/Girl that I grew up watching on DD were taller/better-looking versions of these two (and don’t think the mom was Smita Jaykar either).

    Also, what’s with Voldemort’s minus-nose face (from Harry’s worst nightmare) — with pursed lips stretched beyond belief at an obtuse angle to his non-existent chin — projected across Charlie’s torso in that clip? (Air-brushers having an off day?)

  3. pitu

    February 3, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    You know, I used to think that Takia chick had always had a massive chest but I saw ‘Socha Na Tha’ quite recently. And I was rather shocked to see that the grapefruits had earlier been omelettes. She looked better then. At least her center of gravity made more sense. OTOH everyone’s favorite Amisha Patel has always been well-endowed. Also, regarding Shahid : Little boy face + teeny height + abs = Pitu feeling queasy.

  4. maxdavinci

    February 3, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    well there’s gul panag as well….

    now boys like us aren’t gonna complain!

  5. Piyush

    February 3, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    I was more of a Horlicks boy myself. also lol at “fameballs”.

  6. Ramsu

    February 3, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    Right on! I didn’t like the taste too much either. At least now I have an excuse for the absence of six pack abs and dancing skills.

    I suspect, however, that Complan actually got lucky with their advertising, and that their successes may not all be gender-appropriate. There may be a whole bunch of guys with gargangtuan moobs out there, ruing the day they chose Complan over Horlicks.

  7. sachita

    February 4, 2010 at 2:03 am

    this is just minefield for the comments, huh?

    Obviously you guys havent tasted something called protein-x which required a separate procedure to drink – a bottle of water or even bunch of choclates, for every sip of protein-x, couple of sips of something else less disgusting. Thankfully, my mum didnt catch it.

    w.r.t above comment, is that why horlicks has woman’s horlicks now?

    • Kanan

      February 7, 2010 at 11:55 pm

      I actually loved Protinex. 😀 I think it was a beige color tin with pinkish beige powder. I miss drinking Protinex. Do they even make it still?

  8. anonymusketeer

    February 4, 2010 at 3:39 am

    i wish i knew what gul panag drank growing up. (seriously, how hot is that woman?)

    that stuff must be Pure Awesomeness in a bottle.

    @ramsu – ha! you have provided the first laugh-out-loud moment of my day. 🙂

  9. ramesh

    February 4, 2010 at 4:35 am

    @ pitu … what a description!! you can write dialogues for kanti shah movies

    • pitu

      February 4, 2010 at 1:10 pm

      Err, thank you. I think? 😀

      Also, all you people complaining about Complan: you had it lucky. I used to drink SHARKOFERROL while growing up. Disgust in a bottle!

      • Kanan

        February 7, 2010 at 11:53 pm

        OMG! I thought I was the only one who was forced to drink that tar. But I guess it was for good so it’s forgiven. I remember drinking it so many different ways, in milk, in water, all by itself. Yuck!

  10. abhishek

    February 4, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    yes, looks like complan sure packs in a punch at the right places.
    pity! i didn’t like it at all and look how i turned out.(hint: my physique rivals that of woody allen)

  11. rameshram

    February 4, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    hey sorry to spam you here, btu in all fairness to baddy, I think we should take any argumet you may wish tocontinue off his site and to ether mine or yours.

    mostly because its getting heated and intense. I feel lousy using words like lesbian bitch on his blog…which is usually a fairly civil place.

  12. Katyayni

    February 5, 2010 at 6:43 am

    Good Heavens!
    those “fameballs” so aren’t the work of complan… but… well, Kaun silli one hai, who can’t even get this one? But, then who is complaning, right?
    (Psst… lesbian bitch… now, what have we possibly done to earn that?)

  13. rameshram

    February 5, 2010 at 9:22 am

    haha nothing personal your friend asked me to call her that earlier on in someones site, where she thought she was in a pissing match with me.(the oldest excuse”she was asking for it”) so i obliged her. slapped the lesbian bitch good too!

  14. Amrita

    February 5, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    Sunil – I didnt know that! I must be very young. 😀

    SeeSee – I didnt SEE that until I’d gone to all the trouble of sizing it and then I figured it was, er, authentic. Ok, fine, I’m lazy! I was not a complan girl obviously!

    Pitu – I think it was in that masterpiece of our times, Tarzan the Wonder Car that she, er, truly expanded her horizons. Apparently she won the Best Debut at Filmfare for that movie? I now know who judges these things. 😀
    Also, did you say SHARKOFERROL? Errol Flynn’s Shark?

    Piyush – If I’m anywhere in South India or an Udipi restaurant, I still don’t think twice before asking for a glass of the stuff. The waiters always look at me funny. I guess only maamis drink it?

    Ramsu – yeh hai Salman Khan ki pasand! :mrgreen:

    Sachita – do you know I’ve never even had chavanprash? It looked majorly gross. My mother didn’t even try when it came to the other stuff.
    Re: Socha Na Tha, but that movie itself was so sweet!

    Max / Anonymusketeer – I saw an interview of her once and whatever she took, I think it was a skin treatment. 😦

    Ramesh – hahahah! Kanti Shah movies.

    Abhishek – at least you don’t have moobs! Plus!

    Katyayni – lolz! Maybe that’s where the paycheck went.
    re: the other, just a cry for help. 😀

    Rameshram – sigh. Once more with the piss-poor social skills. From your choice of words to the camping out. Dude, there’s a time to take your balls and go home before people think you’re a flasher. That time has come and gone. You should too.
    And I wasn’t kidding about that epic FAIL of that comment. I was dead serious and genuinely looking out for you coz you really have no clue: just cross your fingers and hope people skip it instead of drawing attention to your shame.

  15. ajnabi

    February 5, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    “Fameballs.” Hee. It’s probably because they’re desperately hoping no one notices she has hips and a butt. It’s fun to see those, though given the size of my own, personal fameballs developed sans Complan I suppose I should be happy I grew up Stateside.

    • ajnabi

      February 5, 2010 at 11:10 pm

      Ha! Fun to see the ads, I mean, not Ayesha’s ta-tas. Although those also have a certain appeal.

  16. Magnus

    February 7, 2010 at 4:13 am

    I knew the day would come when I would regret not growing up with Complan. Man, look at Shahid-studbod-kapur.

    Cheap shot at tamilians!

  17. Kanan

    February 8, 2010 at 1:31 am

    Amrita, you’re right about the photos. Man, it’s annoying. She’s got nice eyebrows though. I heard she’s the kind that takes good care of herself, like puts on hairoil in her hair even on movie sets and stuff. I am yet to watch a movie of her.

    As for Shahid Kapoor, it’s the genes. 🙂

  18. Katyayni

    February 8, 2010 at 7:03 am

    Oh yes. We can totally notice how he resembles his father on the looks gallore! (Wink)
    Or, Kanan, did you mean, it’s in the jeans?

  19. Amrita

    February 9, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Ajnabi – I think she manages her chichis very well. They’re never obtrusive, just ever present! 😀

    Magnus – au contraire! I love a people who appreciate their chichis. Look up my Wanted review!

    Kanan – HAHAHAHAHAH!!! I don’t know why that makes me laugh but the idea of her sitting on a movie set putting Parachute oil is hilarious. And Shahid’s genes? Ahem! 😀

    Katyayni – beat me to the pun! :mrgreen:

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