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The “Sexy” Saree

11 Mar

one1

… is apparently just a plain old saree worn with one boob hanging out.

Now that I'm acquainted with her boobs, maybe someone could tell me her name?

Now that I'm acquainted with her boobs, maybe someone could tell me her name?

I'd slouch over too if I had shiny tits.

I'd slouch around too if my nipples emitted light. Fluorescent at that.

They’re so god-awful, they actually make me think kind thoughts about these:

four

I can’t find a stand-alone pic for Ash so I don’t know how it all turns out when she’s standing up, but maybe that fishing net she’s wrapped over her saree works? At least she’s got a tailor who understands the word “blouse” even if does look suspiciously like a tank top. (I’m not a fan of the hair but come on, nothing can go wrong with that face.)

Yeh sab tum logon ka racket hai, Manish Malhotra!

Yeh sab tum logon ka racket hai, Manish Malhotra!

The Sen Sisters in: "Sarees - A Sensible Choice"

The Sen Sisters in: "Sarees - A Sensible Choice"

Clearly neither one of the sisters has any idea of what to wear – which is when a saree is truly invaluable. As long as you know how to drape it correctly to flatter your figure, you can pull it off. The Sen Sister on the right might be boring as all hell, but at least she doesn’t look like The Sen Sister on the left who looks like Queen Elizabeth gone flash. And who knows if their “taste” in footwear is the same, but at least The Sen Sister on the right won’t be showing off her hideous sandals (!) to the world. I mean, where are those things from? Bata?

(Pics: one, two)

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24 Comments

Posted by on March 11, 2009 in Celebrity, Entertainment

 

24 responses to “The “Sexy” Saree

  1. pitu

    March 11, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    The tranny in the second pic is Payal Rohatgi. Also, you won’t believe how many people actually LIKED Ash’s sari. The bottom part is v pretty- i love- but the pallu area is so hideous. It’s like those chamak chamak polyester fabrics they drape poor backup dancers in, in the 80s! And if you think Ash’s blouse was fine, wait till you see horrid it was peechhe se. It’s in the pinkvilla link below.

    Also, did you see the bit where Rekha came and kissy kissied Aby and Ash but not Big B? 😀

    http://www.pinkvilla.com/entertainmenttags/aishwarya-rai/new-pics-bachchans-rekha-filmfare-awards

     
  2. Adithya

    March 11, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    Hahaha, brilliant one! I have no idea why everyone is experimenting with the draping. It is God-awful, like you say. ROFL @ nipples emitting light. What joy, I am sure even Playboy couldn’t have come up with that.

    Did you watch the show? Though Ranbir and Imran got the timing right, most jokes were lame. Maybe they went with caution after the Ashutosh incident in another awards earlier this year.

    And Miss Padukone gets the award for the Most Stiff Host. Miserable. Bring back someone like Miss Zinta please!

     
  3. Adithya

    March 11, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    About draping, sample this

     
  4. M

    March 11, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    Oh lord – you aint seen nuthin yet…..Google Nauheed Cyrusi (sp?)!
    HATE the one-boob-showing drape…HATE HATE HATE it! The Kaif did it as well, at the wedding of the week…as did many many others, including Manyata-I-only-breathe-if-my-husband-says-to-Dutt!

    As for Aish’s sari – it actually was very pretty in full view. Didn’t realise there was a second layer over the pleats part, it just looked gray in the pictures I saw, but yes, unexpectedly, that combination of patterns worked. I like traditional hair styles so did like her hair, but yeah, nothing to beat saris, when done right! 🙂

    Your MM accusation is so so true! So boring….so very boring….and you’ll be happy to know that he still had some of the brocade/velvet curtain material left over from making Deepika’s CCtC premiere outfits and made a churidar set for Malaika Arora Khan to wear to his sister’s wedding!

    -M

     
  5. Kokonad

    March 11, 2009 at 10:32 pm

    I am fashion challenged, but I can identify a bad dress when I see one. 🙂 The one-boob-hanging-out-and-asking-hey-what’s-up description was hilarious! 😀

     
  6. complicateur

    March 11, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    Amrita, my apologies. You lost me at the first picture… 😛
    But seriously how have you not noticed vixens employ this technique from way back in the 70’s? But of course I realize that was in the movies….

     
  7. Beth

    March 11, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    I wouldn’t know good sari draping if it bit me, but can I distract just for a second and say ZOMG WHAT HAPPENED TO ABHISHEK’S HAIR?!?!? His beautiful, beautiful hair? He looks like Sam the Eagle.

     
  8. Payal (HHC)

    March 11, 2009 at 11:49 pm

    Amrita,
    The second woman’s name is also Payal Rohati and I swear its not me! 😉

     
  9. Payal (HHC)

    March 12, 2009 at 12:10 am

     
  10. WSW

    March 12, 2009 at 1:54 am

    The second pic is BiggBoss(hope I got the spelling correct) ki Payal Rohtagi aka Rahul Mahajan ki secret the whole world knows gf.

    Is that Mugdha Godse is the light emitting blouse?Whatever happened to her taste?

    Aishwarya’s saree was a Sabyaschi (as if that excuses the shimmery wrap)
    On a side note of that snap, Gauri Khans face isnt acting as a reflecting surface-has she *gasp*learnt to do away with greasy makeup?

    And yes Kareena is part of the MM racket..there ‘s a pic floating around where Saifu is tying up her blouse while she gives the camera men the movie star face 😉

     
  11. DewdropDream

    March 12, 2009 at 6:03 am

    My mother’s house help knows how to wear a saree way better than any of these nutjobs. Hmpfh. Are they blind? Touched in the upper storey? Lying to themselves? WHO came up with this ridiculous idea anyway?

     
  12. Shivani

    March 12, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Amrita,
    If you saw the Filmfare Awards function, Ash was shown to be adjusting her pallu time & again to cover the other boob (Gosh, they zoomed the camera on it at least thrice!), so she was the only one not to succumb to the one-boob drapery.

    I think Mad Momma also wrote a post on this sometime back, where I learnt in the comment section that this pallu between boob draping is called ‘percentage’ (%) !!
    😛 😛

     
  13. Mom Gone Mad

    March 12, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Thats just great! Now I post comments on the wrong post. I’m starting to think people might have a point about getting at least 4 hours of sleep to function.

    Borderline cretin MGM.

     
  14. Mom Gone Mad

    March 12, 2009 at 10:17 am

    So here is where it belongs: Like D-UH.

    “Percentage” is back – and in style now? Really?

    I thought we’d seen enough of this in the ’60’s and ’70’s to put us off forever. Especially in Malayalam films, where they displayed their shiny, pointy, percentage chi-chi’s to the full.

    *Oddly and (suddenly) wistful about good ole ’70’s Mallu movie soft porn*

     
  15. Ramsu

    March 13, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    They’ve been doing this for a while in Bollywood. Mumtaz was famous for it, as I remember. Putting LEDs on a blouse (as in pic 3) is a new one, though.

    Maybe they’re making Dostana 2 with two women and a man and calling it Yaarana, and this is like a tribute to the old movie.

    Beth: I believe Abhishek’s the Bollywood version of Samson — shaving dramatically increases the probability of his movies bombing at the box office. He’s probably tired of having to live with it, so he overcompensates through his haircuts.

    ~ramsu

     
  16. Beth

    March 13, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    Whoa, that’s a far more philosophical answer than I was expecting! Vah!

     
  17. Amrita

    March 15, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    I don’t know what to make of so many of you knowing this woman :mrgreen:

    Payal (not with the boob) – OH NO! She has your exact name?! That’s horrible.
    But thanks for the link, it gives me caption options!

    MomGoneMad – talking of Mallu porn, you might just be the person I was looking for! (Um, ok that came out wrong)

    Shivani – lolz, I’ll have to go look that up.

    WSW – maybe she took make up lessons in LA? 🙂

    Ramsu – awww, Mumtaz and her wonderbra! At least she never looked slutty.

    Beth – don’t kill me but I actually like this better. I likey the short!

    Complicateur – hahahah, aren’t you easy!

    Koke and DDD – That they’d do it on purpose is what really gets me.

    M – seriously, who looks at velvet in anything as big as a saree or a salwar kameez and thinks I want to wear that? I used to have a little black velvet miniskirt when I was a teen (it was the 90s, ok?!) but that was eventually too much for me.

    Adithya – no, thank you! Its been years since I saw a Filmfare awards. I saw the one that SRK hosted a while back and its scarred the hell out of me. And that Nauheed pic! It’s everything M said and more!

    Pitu – omg, they’re like the Brangelina of India just twenty years ago and AB wouldn’t leave his wife.

     
  18. Mom Gone Mad

    March 15, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Woah – your have no idea how much you piqued my interest with that last comment! Have I FINALLY been acknowledged an expert on Mallu soft porn?

     
  19. cuteminilicious

    March 21, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    I think kareena’s saree is gorgeous…

     
  20. rayshma

    March 25, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    ooh… that woman jiska name you be seeking is being ms payal rohatgi.
    i r’ber being intro’ed to her once in offc… and a couple mins later she said to me “i like you. i like aggressive women.”
    a week later, i quit! 😀

     
  21. One Stop Shop

    July 23, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    I don’t know how it happened…I just seemed to have pole-vaulted thru cyberspace and landed on *this* page. (You must believe me.)

    Speaking of “plain old saree worn with one boob hanging out,” my dad (an inveterate nickname bestower if there ever was one) used this acronym (not sure if he coined it himself, as I suspect, or if it was part of his office coffee-time jargon) “OSO” (One Side Open), to refer to all the maamis (of every color and creed) ambling thru the streets of Mambalam (during our shopping sprees, which both of us detested, but mom would drag us along nonetheless) in a similar state of, uh, “undress.”

    As part of our promise to keep each other amused during these store-after-store torture sessions, we used to jab each other in the rib saying “OSO paaru, OSO paaru” as discreetly as possible without ticking off mom (and of course, the parties concerned). Yup, exactly our idea of “window” shopping! 😀

     
    • pitu

      July 23, 2009 at 2:20 pm

      ewwwwwww hahaha!

       
  22. Gradwolf

    July 23, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    @One Stop Shop:

    ROFL!! That was brilliant. Now whenever I go to Mambalam(where I lived during 0-11 and 18-21) I can only think of OSO. 😐

     
    • One Stop Shop

      July 25, 2009 at 11:19 am

      Ah, the young philosopher who wrote “Every minute in life there’s a ‘first time’.” (Now that was brilliant!) Glad I could return the favor — you’re the one who gave me an intro to the alternate-comics universe that’s xkcd.com, ya know.

       
 
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