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Action Replayy: Q & A

08 Nov
<i>Action Replayy</i>: Q & A

Q. What is Action Replay?
A. British for “instant replay”; mostly used in the context of sports.

Q. No, no, the movie starring Akshay Kumar and Aishwarya Rai.
A. Oh, you mean Action Replayy.

Q. Yes, excuse me: Action Replayy. Does that extra Y mean something?
A. They can’t spell?

Q. You’re going to be difficult about this, aren’t you? I can tell already.
A. Sorry. Action Replayy is a movie directed by Vipul Amrutlal Shah (Namastey London, London Dreams) about Bunty (Aditya Roy Kapur), a commitment-phobe, who hops a ride back in time to fix his parents’ non-existent love story so they don’t end up unhappily married years later.

Q. And this takes place in London?
A. No, Mumbai.

Q. Oh. Well, that sounds sweet.
A. Eh.

Q. Come on! The kid wants to save his parents’ marriage!
A. Right after he said he doesn’t believe in the institution and wished that his parents had never got together. Not that I blame him. If you had two miserable people like Kishen (Akshay Kumar) and Mala (Aishwarya Rai) as the shining example of the institution in front of you, you wouldn’t be all that eager either.

Q. Why do they hate each other?
A. She’s a bitch and he’s a loser.

Q. O.o
A. Fine. She wanted him to pay attention to her but he was too busy with his work, so she tried to fill in the emptiness by buying things. A lot of things. About 9 crore plus change worth of things that must be extremely dodgy going by one example he carries around in the car with him. As for him, he thinks she’s always hated him and never wanted to marry him, might even have been in love with another man, except they were forced into marriage by their parents.

Q. That’s terrible.
A. Right. But! Conveniently for Bunty, his girlfriend’s grandfather Anthony Gonsalves (Randhir Kapoor) just built a time machine in their drawing room -

Q. Excuse me?
A. Built a time machine in his drawing room. At least, I think it’s his drawing room. I’m pretty sure I noticed a table lamp. Don’t worry, though, it’s not important – it’s one of those science-y things that you note in the “Oh Yeah, And This Happened. Continuity!” column. So he hijacks the thing and runs off into the sky with it and lands in Bombay 30 years ago. Where he finds out the awful truth about his parents.

Q. Which is?
A. She’s a bitch and he’s a loser.

Q. o.O
A. It’s true! She’s the terror of the neighborhood because she has no father and she’s trying to be the man of the house while he’s the neighborhood punching bag because he has no mother and he’s trying to be the woman of the house.

Q. Is this funny?
A. Occasionally? It’s the monstrous love child of that other movie made by illiterates, Singh is Kinng, and one of the director’s earlier efforts, Waqt: The Race Against Time, except this one is more of a movie rather than a collection of comedy skits and doesn’t have extended death scenes surrounded by plush toys. It must have helped to have Back to the Future as their Plot Guide for Dummiez. Also, they swapped in The Original Salman Girlfriend instead of The Girlfriend Doll, so she comes equipped with extra features like Be Convincingly Mean and Dance in a Variety of Styles. Thus Mala is both in spades: truly unpleasant and very hot. And there are weird scenes in which Bunty, the son, encourages his future father to think of his future mother as a potential hate-fuck.

Q. Sounds like an interesting movie.
A. It has its moments and most of them are unintentional.

Q. But you’re not offended by it.
A. I suspect I would have been if it wasn’t a variation on a very well worn theme: For True Happiness in the Indian Home, A Woman Needs to Know Her Place and A Man is the Only One Who Can Show It to Her. I mean, Mala+Kishen v.1.0 might have been textbook examples right out of Psychology 101 but there was a sense of real drama there, which just got reduced to Bollywood Characterization 101 via time travel. At a certain point, you just shrug and move on.

Q. Blah blah blah. Does it bring the pretty?
A. Sure. Well, Aishwarya does. The way she does.

Q. Sold!
A. I thought so.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on November 8, 2010 in Entertainment, Movies, Review, Video

 

Tags: , , , ,

14 responses to “Action Replayy: Q & A

  1. maxdavinci

    November 8, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    every time akki said awaaz, the who theatre resonated with neeeche!

    sad times!

     
    • Amrita

      November 8, 2010 at 4:28 pm

      OMG, mine too! It’s an epidemic of stupid.

       
      • Gradwolf

        November 8, 2010 at 10:03 pm

        Hahaha same here, at least from the third or fourth time! And one part of the theater actually broke into an applause at the end of that supposed-to-be-funny circus chase scene.

         
  2. sitaji

    November 8, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Haven’t seen it yet, but now it will be a lot more fun having this post in my mind when I eventually see it, since I’ll have to see it, no matter how bad it is. :)

     
  3. bhel

    November 8, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    Sigh, why is it that your reviews of the movies you like are so boring, and those of the ones you hate are so wickedly delicious? Oh well, lucky for us then that you see more bad movies than good. :p

     
    • Sue

      November 11, 2010 at 4:49 am

      What Bhel said.

      Also, not that I was planning to make one in this lifetime, but this post made me decide to never make a movie because dude I don’t want you to review it. I was shivering in my high heeled slippers as I made my way down the piece.

      I hope Vipul Shah reads it. :)

       
  4. cinemachaat

    November 9, 2010 at 3:56 am

    This is the problem with your blog Amrita. Now I almost want to see this just so I can come back and agree with you!

     
  5. rajasen

    November 9, 2010 at 4:32 am

    Ah, but what of the dueting singer who kept getting Akshay to take his shirt off? What magnitude of bizarre male-rape fantasy must we now have to get an IQ post to discuss it?

     
  6. apu

    November 9, 2010 at 9:44 am

    “For True Happiness in the Indian Home, A Woman Needs to Know Her Place and A Man is the Only One Who Can Show It to Her.” Ouch. Ouch. 70s, 80s –> 2010 – only the outfits in Hindi movies seem to change!

     
  7. M

    November 9, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    What Bhel said above :) LOVE the review, no plan to see the movie AT ALL! Though Aish does look lovely in the oh-my-eyes printed saris…

     
  8. dipali

    November 10, 2010 at 12:10 am

    I think I had to see it for ‘Zor ka jhatka’.
    Total timepass fillum with very few few good moments.
    The new boy has nice curls:)

     
  9. Sachu Kichu

    November 10, 2010 at 10:54 am

    “For True Happiness in the Indian Home, A Woman Needs to Know Her Place and A Man is the Only One Who Can Show It to Her. ” – namaste london was the same obscenity except it had the most truest doll of hindi cinema – so it was even more horrible. so decided to stay away from this.

     
  10. Amrita

    November 11, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    @Adithya – I had the most horrible moment of my life as a viewer when I looked at Ash in that scene, esp when her mother goes flying off, and thought to myself “Katrina would have done that better”. Sigh.

    @sitaji – you must see it! and then we can compare notes!

    @bhel – as long as there is commercial cinema, there will always be snark!

    @Sue – naheeeeeeeeen! Not only would you make a better movie but I’d be very nice about it. I promise! :D

    @Temple – hee hee :D I wish we could go see movies together!

    @rajasen – ha, I had hopes that we were heading for a I Love You, Phillip Morris-style side plot with that but alas! even that joy was denied me.

    @apu – you said it, girlfriend.

    @M – she doesn’t wear that many sarees, only when love has taught her better does she put them on. Also, she makes a terrible bimbette. She’s much better as a bitch.

    @Dipali – I thoroughly enjoyed the music videos. Ash was great in them.

    @Sachita – Namastey London was cringe-inducing in a number of other ways as well so it kind of slipped past me.

     
  11. Radhika

    November 12, 2010 at 9:37 am

    >>She’s much better as a bitch
    Poisonally I thought Aish was poifectly cast in only one movie : Khakee, where she plays the nasty

     
 
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