Player Got Plaid

30 Oct

Dressed to Kill (My Eyes! My Eyes!)

You know how sometimes you wear something just a teensy bit suspect, but then someone actually compliments you on it? And this just builds up in your head until you start fancying yourself quite a bit when you look in the mirror with that thing on?

For example, there was that time when I read round faces look better with hanks of hair hanging down the sides. Of course, the glossy magazine put it better than that, as did the models they featured in it, but there was a whole year in my teens when I’d walk around with overgrown bangs lying limply on either side of my face. Why? Because a second cousin my age paid us a visit the first time I tried it out and admired my new “look”. On the basis of that one throwaway comment, cocker spaniels became my fashion inspiration.

Eventually, thank heaven, I outgrew it. I bought myself a comb and learned to use it without my mother nagging me into it. And I also decided never to trust other people’s opinions over that of my mirror.

Poor old Akshay Kumar, however, seems to be descending deeper and deeper into denial. I think I began to note his plaid obsession around the time Chandini Chowk to China was released – I mean, how could you not notice something like this:

Truly, Madly, Fugly, Made for Each Other.

But after careful research (about 5 minutes worth) it seems to have been a bad habit he picked up on the sets of that other masterpiece Tashan.

"OK! OK! I'm sorry! I LOVE your shirt!"

And soon, he couldn’t keep it from spreading like a malignant virus onto his non-promotional life.

My Boobs Want to Get Far Away From This Boob

Twinkle and her magnificent cleavage deserve so much better! And just when I thought he was making an effort to manage his addiction, like so:

Not Without My Plaid

…he goes and films this episode of perhaps the most boring cooking show on TV – in a three-piece plaid suit with a windowpane pattern. I kid you not.

Oh, honey. Leave the fashion to the better half, yes? Ask her to buy you a nice subtle jacket you can wear with your scandalous jeans or something.


Posted by on October 30, 2010 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Video


18 responses to “Player Got Plaid

  1. cinemachaat

    October 30, 2010 at 9:12 am

    I am in NO WAY condoning the plaid. However I feel I must point out that the wardrobe in Tashan was the comic side plot. I mean – Saif’s red ladybelt, Anil’s mesh top, the shoes…Genius! Pure comic genius!

  2. bhel

    October 30, 2010 at 9:16 am

    Lol, damn, you’ve made me super conscious now about the two plaid things I have. Hmm.

    In any case, maybe plaid is Akshay’s lucky pattern (

  3. Amrita

    October 30, 2010 at 10:19 am

    @Temple – see the problem right there? It’s so awful, it has to come with disclaimers! 😀 No, I get it, Tashan made some kind of sense. But then he took his wardrobe home and everything went to pot.

    @Bhel – as long as you don’t walk around in a three piece plaid suit, I think you’re all good. Also, try not to wear plaid pants. They always look like pajamas.

  4. Banno

    October 30, 2010 at 11:27 am

    The shirts aren’t that bad, similar to the popular ‘Madrasi checks’. Though I don’t think anyone calls those that anymore. 🙂

    But what about Saif’s shirt in that poster? Doesn’t it look kind of peacock-y.

  5. memsaab

    October 30, 2010 at 11:43 am

    Actually in the photo with his biwi, it looks like Twinkle’s boob is literally trying to get out and away. Interesting.

  6. Ness

    October 30, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    I’m sick, but the plaid obsession just makes me love Akki more. And the THREE PIECE SUIT?! He’s either lost his mind entirely or seriously testing his fame/influence, seeing if he can inspire a full-on Plaid Fad sweeping the nation. (But actually – isn’t this likely to be part of his much publicised thing where he dresses ‘retro’ for Action Replayy promotion?)

  7. Piyush

    October 30, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    I think plaid pants are a disaster in general but nowadays plaid shirts has replaced the American Apparel deep V necks when it comes to hipsters. I went to a gig recently and I was in a sea of plaid shirt + skinny jeans + beards. Seriously, I thought hipsters were all about being unique but they all look the same


    back to topic – I think Arshad Warsi pulled off plaid shirts the best in Ishiqiya.

    P.S – wtf, I just learnt that Twinkle Khanna is Vinod Khanna daughter.

  8. Suhan

    October 30, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    Regarding Twinkle, if you’ve got to flaunt it, do it with the supreme confidence of Mallika Sherawat. Poor Twinkle looks distinctly uncomfortable.

    And Piyush, her parents: Rajesh Khanna and Dimple Kapadia. Here are a couple of cute pics to wash the taste of that green dress out 🙂

    Rajesh Khanna - With Family


    Rajesh Khanna with his Family (late 1970s)

    • pitu

      October 31, 2010 at 9:48 pm

      WOWIE thanks for the flickr link, my Rajesh-loving heart is thrilled 😀

  9. Amrita

    October 31, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    @Banno – I think it has EYES. arrrgghhhh!

    @Memsaab – They’re probably struggling to breathe as well.

    @Ness – I dont know who came up with this stupid idea that the actors of every movie have to dress like their characters to promote it, but whoever it was deserves to be shot! I’m sure there’s an element of that at work here, but he really loves the plaid. He’s been trying to rock it since way before Action Replay was ready for promotion.

    @Piyush – they’re a collection of “uniques” like every subculture! 😀 But the hipster plaid shirts are vintage – they wouldn’t dream of buying brand new the way I assume Akki does. And even if they did, they sure as hell wouldn’t wear a three piece suit of it!

    @ Suhan – awww! At least those two are having fun even if RK and Dimple are clearly over it! 😀

  10. pitu

    October 31, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    I have given up on Akki. I have given up on his clothes, his interviews, his films. He’s just gotten so… ANNOYING! I adored him in his early Khiladi/Main Khiladi Tu Anari days but meh… now he’s like some ajeeb creature. What I want to know is, HOW does Twinkle allow him to parade around like that? :-/

  11. CheeC

    October 31, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    True, everything that you say to Ness. About AK trying to rock plaid way before AR was ready for promotion, hey wasn’t that to spite another AR (yes, you!) for suggesting that he do SNL-style skits for Indian TV?? Can’t say he didn’t take that suggestion seriously either (cue: MasterChef). Look whachyu dun now!!:-D

    BTW, love how the picture captions all nod to movies! (#4 is my fave – Horton’s Hears a Who?)

    PS: (In a rare confessional mood) I seriously feel like getting together with Akki and comparing notes on our commonalities — to cite two, off the top of my head, we’re both fashion disasters, with spouses that are just too good (inside and out) for our sickly selves (it seems) who both seem to think we are worth it, wtf!!

    • CheeC

      November 1, 2010 at 5:18 pm

      PPS: First things first — For that truly tarty slice of Orange (oh it was swell with my Texas Toast this morning and yes, I ate a late breakfast due to early-AM meetings), I thank thee from the bottom of my heart!!

      I bet you’re loving how — now that you got tweets feeding right into your sidebar here — you actually get to make a point without really having to scramble out of bed, so to speak. 😀

      Speaking of, the MichelleO tweet had me wondering, at first glance, if it was something about Mrs. Obama, and I was like, WHAT?? the First Lady, a film critic?? LOL

      Haven’t seen Going the Distance yet but thoroughly enjoyed the heartfelt exchanges in the comments section, particularly between Long and Orange! So the verdict is… opposites attract?

      • CheeC

        November 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm

        Hey, not to fixate on day before yesterday’s news when the whole world has moved on to day after tomorrow’s, but did you happen to notice (I’m guessing not – Geez, just bcoz I’m OCD…) that Michelle’s response to Justin’s note seems to have altogether disappeared from the comments thread?

        Wonder what on earth made her eat her own (oh-so-well-articulated) words…

  12. ramesh

    November 1, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    wow dimple looks so weird in those pictures

  13. Ness

    November 1, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Hahah, oh no I totally agree he’s been trying to rock the plaid forever. I think my point was – he just took the film promotional thing as an excuse to go all out and rock a THREE PIECE PLAID MONSTROSITY. I can see him justifying it too “It’s okay guys, look what I’m doing FOR THE FILM!”. All the while rubbing his hands together in glee at the prospect of wearing all that plaid. At once.

    Seriously, I can’t believe no-one intervened on that one.

  14. Amrita

    November 2, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    @Pitu – the only thing i can say to that is “haw-haw-haw” 😀

    @CheeC – oh that might have been because it snowballed onto this huge thing on Jezebel yesterday with a lot of people calling double standards for a woman body snarking on a man (apparently they didn’t read either her piece or Justin’s response to it) and then they took issue with her reply and it all got very heated. I don’t know what happened with the comments, but if she deleted it, then it’s likely to be connected to that because the hate train was definitely moving to crush her.
    Ah, internet. I love it so. Mainly because I understand this community more than any IRL. *nerd*

    @Ramesh – the boobtastic one or the baby ones? Coz she’s cute as a baby. Awww. 😦

    @Ness – yeah, sometimes I don’t know who or what is dressing these people. You’re right though. I think they get used to wearing ridiculous things on the big screen and through the use of movie magic, it ends up looking ok if not good, and then that confidence kind of leaks offscreen where they don’t have that same amount of lighting and retakes and makeup and it’s just a massive fail.
    I had the funniest conversation with a friend who doesn’t watch Bollywood the other day and she saw pictures of him in Action Replay and in real life and she said: “But he’s hot in real life! Why did they do that to him? This upsets me!” 😀

    • CheeC

      November 2, 2010 at 6:06 pm

      Whoa! (About the MichelleO mow-a-thon) let me see if I got this straight —

      The single worthwhile response on that comments thread was deleted because a bunch of “let’s blow things out of proportion”-types on the internet (or are you telling me that IS the internet? Then I don’t understand it at all!) decided to make mince meat of Michele for merely *opining* that Long (in terms of the *character* he portrays in the movie) was (more than a little) short in the “charisma and looks” department, as compared to the film’s female lead. WTF??!!

      Seriously, taken in context of Justin’s note (where he explains and apologizes for agonizing over character-related opinions she outlines in her review), what Michele says in defense of her views, is something solid.

      I mean, their whole exchange in her comments thread reeked of nothing but mutual respect. Too bad the bozos (card-carrying members of the Defend Mediocre Male Actors to Death club?) who raised a ruckus (on Jezebel, you said? I’m so not going there!) couldn’t see past their own noses to comprehend that.

      Shorn of context (retroactively supplied by Michele’s (now censored!!) response), Justin’s comment automatically elevates him to “oh cho chweet, how self-effacing!!!” status among his already drooling fans.

      Not saying that’s a bad thing (great job, Publicist!); just saying that if he’d really had the acting chops, his looks probably wouldn’t have mattered so much (I mean, there’s a million and more of us out here living vicariously thru the romcoms Hollywood churns out; obviously our standards are super high! If you can’t give us GREAT writing, give us EXCELLENT acting, or if even that is impossible, by God, at least give us the knock-me-dead GOOD looks, dammit… the plea I see Michele’s subconscious making, thru her post. But apparently, I’m the only one that does).

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