Future Overlord

29 Jul

Fantasy is not fiction. It’s life in India.

After Phase I in which loads of clever kids went to the original IITs and grew up to become New India’s success stories, came Phase II in which loads of parents programmed their kids at special indoctrination camps tuition classes to become the New Indian’s successful employees. And now we’re entering Phase III where parents are building customized children to train the ever increasing vast blob of Phase II applicants.

Rejoice, parents of substandard children! Manipulating a fetus is no longer something restricted to villains in science fiction novels and Hitler. My favoritest tabloid in everty ever brings joyful tidings:

Prof Tulsi Narayan Prasad, an advocate at the Supreme Court and a serious practitioner of astro-genetics, had to fight the world around him when he proposed that the sex of a to-be-born child could be manipulated.
“It’s a science called eugenics,” Tulsi Prasad said, explaining the way his genius child was conceived. “By employing it, we can ensure that the child achieves the desired traits. As I knew what we wanted, we followed the prescription for a genius mind…I and my wife had to plan everything in the process of having the child, right from our diet to our mood to the sex itself.”

Oooo-kay. A little reminiscent of the sex scene from Rosemary’s Baby, perhaps, but genius and deals with the Devil both demand a certain amount of sacrifice.

It’s all worth it in the end:

Hailed as a child prodigy, he finished high school when he was just nine, B.Sc by the time he was 10 and M.Sc before he turned 12. “It wasn’t surprising at all as my parents had told me that I was programmed before birth to be genius. I knew I was different when I discovered that I was more fascinated by physics while the others my age were into sports and games,” he said.
“But now I have learnt the art of pretending to be ‘normal’,” he added. “I finished reading A Brief History of Time (by Stephen Hawking) when I was six. I loved it even though I didn’t understand everything there,” he said, giving glimpses of what it was like to grow up as a programmed child.

I hope all those people freaked out by Indians’ Hitler obsession are reading this. :mrgreen: Astro-Eugenics is the way real Aryans do it, baby.

PS: Hey buddy, when the revolution comes, just remember it was all fun and games! Seriously. Please don’t eat me or preserve me in a slime pod or whatever it is that advanced specimens do. Thanks!


Posted by on July 29, 2010 in Life, News


Tags: , , , , , ,

7 responses to “Future Overlord

  1. le embrouille blogueur

    July 29, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    Really !! When our son was due, some friends in India told us to look up a good time and then just walk in to the hospital and get a C section done. We did not think that was natural we should not manipulate stuff like child birth. I hope our son does not blame us when he is 12, about how little we have done to ensure a bright (read:programmed) life for him and how he has had to do it on his own just like his parents and their’s. LOL @ the Hitler craziness. Awesome post Amrita !!

  2. Veena

    July 29, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    I won’t be surprised if folks start lining outside Mr. Prasad’s door for help in conceiving the next astro-eugenics aided super-brilliant male child!

  3. Radhika

    July 29, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    yeah, a girl i knew was about to pop and insisted on a C-section, much to her obstet’s mystification and when i asked why, she said she wanted her kid to be born on a day with the number 2 (or something like that) because kids born on days with number 1 (day of almost popping) would be self-centered and opinionated. i should have asked her what number she was born on, so i could avoid having babies on that day for fear of them turning out to be superstitious and dumb.

  4. Ramsu

    July 30, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Dunno if you’ve seen this:

  5. Future Overlawed?

    July 30, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    This is utterly butterly demented! These parents are practically BEGGING for laws to be passed (just like the anti-cloning ones) against tampering with children at the cellular level (no, not talking about keeping tabs on kids courtesy Motorola), methinks. 😀

    And ROFL @ Ramsu’s link. Oh what hell I must have given my parents over conceiving me on Day 11 (yes, adolescent angst had convinced me that I was)!! 😛

  6. pitu

    August 1, 2010 at 10:01 am

    What the..? Bwahahahahhaa! I want to slap the smug leetle ‘genius’ child! Blech.

  7. Amrita

    August 2, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    LEB – I’ve heard the same thing! Is that even valid is my question.

    Veena – people will sadly try ANYTHING!

    Radhika – AHAHAHAHHA! And now I know what to say to someone like this if I ever meet them.

    Ramsu – Oh. My. Lord. :mrgreen:

    FO – I can’t even think up the kind of shit people do on an everyday basis. I particularly love how you have to almost plan to get a defective male child while the opposite is true for girls.

    Pitu – Can you imagine being the older child? The non genius but male child? 😀

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