Potty Training for the Win!

08 Jun

Being Indian, I obviously lack the social subtleties and sense of humor required to fully appreciate Tunku Varadarajan’s examination of the Indian spelling bee champ phenomenon.

As human being, however, I am transfixed by this casual observation:

There are certain cultures–particularly Asian ones–that produce child prodigies. Relentless parents, goading their children to success at the youngest possible age, are but one explanation. These are all cultures in which, traditionally, children have begun work early, in which childhood as we know it in the West is an alien idea. Indian kids are potty-trained by two. In America, that would be regarded as precocious. Pressure is brought to bear much later on purely American children than on those kids whose parents persist in old-world child-rearing ways long after they immigrate to America.

Um, whut?

What kind of pooping monsters are y’all raising, white people? No wonder the Injuns are hunting down your wimminz with such ease.


Posted by on June 8, 2010 in Entertainment, Life, News, Newsmakers, Video


Tags: , , ,

11 responses to “Potty Training for the Win!

  1. memsaab

    June 8, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    Um, what?! INDEED! Where on earth did that silly statistic come from?

  2. ajnabi

    June 8, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    As soon as I read that “How To Date…” thing I said, “This reads like something Amrita would write!”

    As far as I’ve observed (granted, through the comfortable distance of documentaries), *some* Indian children aren’t so much potty-trained by two as they are curb-, side-of-the-truck-, or against-the-wall-trained from birth. Either way, I stand in awe of their parents. I just let daycare teach my kids how to use the toilet. I’m a detached white mom who farms out her kids, having given birth to them specifically so others could raise them. 😉

  3. apu

    June 8, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Was that white bitches thing meant to be a funny/sarcastic response to the how to snag an Indian thing? Bah. Found neither of them quite readable.

  4. le embrouille blogueur

    June 8, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    Insane connection….my son is going to be two soon…and he is not a mile within the “seat”….no pun intended !! 🙂

  5. sachita

    June 9, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    Fellow human being, fyi, somehow the indian kids(born, brought up) in usa arent potty trained by 2 – dont know why this fact is important but thot will let you know.

    I agree with apu above, i was laughing while reading the article but then suddenly realized i wouldnt be if i was one. This sort of humor always does this to me – Comedy lets people talk easily out of the PC zone – letting the words that was right their in our lips but pushing it a lot sounds racist as well. From what I see, this sort of comedy/ humor is extremely prevalent here.

    But then i also find that the audience from the target group are quite cool with it as well.

  6. Shalini

    June 11, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    My American-born son wasn’t potty-trained by his Indian-born parents till age 3 when He decided he didn’t want to wear pull-ups anymore. And nighttime pull-ups? He didn’t get out those till he was almost 5!
    My little underaciever! 🙂

  7. Amrita

    June 11, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    @ Memsaab – I believe the answer is, “his ass”.

    @ Ajnabi – hee! I don’t know if I’d ever use those exact words but… and you, miss, are clearly meant to be my role model if and when I have kids. Would God have invented “help” if he didn’t want us to take full advantage of it? I think not! Besides, someone’s got to look after the little critters while I drink my lunch. Might as well teach them how to poop.

    @ Apu – yes, except the how to snag an indian thing was in earnest. I kinda feel bad for that woman by now. She was all “Yay! I got me some hot bollywood!” and now she must be hiding under the bed. poor thing.

    @ leb – tsk, tsk. How will he get into Harvard and become President at this rate?

    @ Sachita – I’m more interested to know why you know this! 😀 As for the satires – the discomfort is part of the experience, so you’re all good!

    @ Shalini – are you sure you’re Indian? I demand to see your passport! 😛

    • le embrouille blogueur

      June 17, 2010 at 12:38 am

      :)… did you know that all the Presidents were poop trained while in the womb ?? they came out and asked for the Charmin’

  8. To Pee or Not To Pee?

    June 14, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    As a human being (with tomato juice coursing thru my veins!), I am transfixed by the casual observation that a German word was what gave this kid-of-Indian-origin her American Spelling Bee win! 😀

    “Stromuhr” is an intrument that measures the amount and speed of blood flowing thru the arteries, says the Dictionary. (Can’t get more “human” than that.)

    Now to your point about “regulating” that other body fluid in “mini” humans of a certain demographic, all I have to say is that I’ve instructed my in-laws to capture on camera, The Moment when my preschooler pulls his pants down and pees on the train tracks from the platform of the Tambaram railway station (they live nearby, and the little guy is going a visiting this summer, minus mommy).

    Come back all potty trained, my love, I’m gonna whisper to him, when we say our goodbyes, LOL. But seriously, except for the occasional bedwetting at night, he’s been pretty “trained” (more out of preschool peer pressure than from parents going militant — I couldn’t care less if he wore diapers until whenever, but there sure is a big fuss being made about the whole potty situation in desi circles — all silly, in my book).

    Btw, that whole “How To Date…” thing was rollickingly funny, except a lot of it is real, if some of the “stories” I’ve been hearing from friends are to be believed…

    • TPonTP

      June 18, 2010 at 2:37 pm

      Hey, can I have one last word on this Bee-winning German word before we banish it to the cold dungeons of short-term memory? (Well, not the word itself so much as the “German”ness of it.)

      I’m convinced it’s no coincidence that “German” scrambles to “manger”. In my book, it’s a Testament to the fact that we’re constantly oscillating between the Old and the New. Yeah!

      And who knew. That your “Um, whut?” would rhyme so well with “Umlaut” (the two-dots diacritic; the term itself translates to “around sound”, they say).

  9. sangeetha

    June 20, 2010 at 5:53 am

    aaaarrghh!i’ve been through this whole “potty-train your child by age 2” and i think its just plain bull****. ive seen aunties, uncles and grandparents back in india expressing their shock and concern about my son still needing diapers to do his job when he was 3. “öh whatever will he do?” they would lament, making me feel like some serious parenting-error has occurred which would impair my sons growth drastically.

    well, like ajnabi said, i happily let my frantic mother in law do the needful training and needless to say, after a lot of relentless trying and hardwork (from her side; i couldnt care less) the impossible has been accomplished! my son, by the time he was 3 and a half, dutifully sat on the potty when nature beckoned.happy tears were shed, he was hugged and complimented and therefore the big milestone was crossed.


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