Amar Akbar Anthony

05 May
<i>Amar Akbar Anthony</i>

Balle! Balle! Bunny ears.

Vinod Khanna thinks Amar Akbar Anthony is prime remake material. I think: “Nahiiiiiiiiiin! Yeh paap hai!”.

But what if this were to happen? Retouched for the new generation?

Amar Akbar Anthony, the story of three upper middle class Mumbai stoners (just look at those mugs!) who like to dress up in drag and play in a band. Kind of like Hedwig and the Angry Inch but without the castration.

Balls! Balls! We'd like to keep 'em.

Amar is the sensitive one, who comes up with dreamy songs about girls in sundresses, cranberry Smirnoff kisses, the existential angst of 30-year-old teenagers, soulmates and other random shit that the other two think is absolutely fucking genius but only because they’ve never listened to his lyrics when they were sober. Someday they will and boy, are they gonna be mortified about their repertoire. And then Amar won’t have any friends.

Akbar is the angry one. He’s an artiste but the world won’t let him be great so in the meantime he rails about the system to all the groupies he bangs and then strums the shit out of his guitar, often in keys and to tunes that have very little to do with whatever it is that the rest of the band is playing. He doesn’t know it but his bandmates are secretly laughing about him behind his back. If they weren’t so high, they’d have been pissed and beaten him bloody but they’re way too mellow to care. He’s going to be very depressed when he finds out. He might say as many as two cruel things to his mom that day.

Anthony is the self-professed player who “knows people”. He often tells whoever didn’t ask that he’d have left these two losers a long time ago but that whiny kid Amar and that funny one Akbar really know how to draw in the chicks. He’s been there, he’s done that and one day soon he’ll go someplace and do something that’s going to get him kneecapped. And that’s if he’s lucky.

Baby boy Baabby, mole nahin to kuch nahin!

When the sinister Boom Box Bobby, an unsavory musician who hates Bollywood music, runs off with their demo tape and threatens to tell their mothers what really goes on in Akbar’s basement when his parents think he’s “practicing” unless they keep quiet, Amar, Akbar and Anthony must unite with their loved ones to fight his evil intentions.

Your butt is precious to me.

Hmm. I’d still rather have the old one, methinks.

Catch up on the all-new, all-awesome week of Khanna-0-Rama for more reasons why you shouldn’t mess with the original! Click on the badge to the right (thanks, VLoveMovies).


Posted by on May 5, 2010 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Movies


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13 responses to “Amar Akbar Anthony

  1. Beth

    May 5, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    So what exactly are you proposing we do with Rahul’s butt? DO TELL.

    That younger gen picture made my day.

  2. Smirnoff No.21

    May 5, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    Wait, did I hear right? Vinod Khanna is playing WHAT? A good Don in the upcoming God Mother?? (Translation: I don’t have to walk around with a whiny My Name Is Korn look anymore? Yipee Yay!!!) I sure hope he wasn’t just-a-joa-king!

    Speaking of cranberry *Smirnoff* kisses, a colleague simply wouldn’t stop plugging this programme comin’ up in the De Beers township. Apparently, Tiesto the Dutch DJ is the coolest (or hottest; pick your poison, my pretty) remixer on the scene (and from what I’ve been hearing, wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s been “secretly” knighted or something by Queen Beatrix herself — yes, of the Nether lands). 😀

    • Smirnoff No.21

      May 6, 2010 at 4:08 pm

      P.S: Better break my attention away from VK’s forthcoming underworld avatar and bring it back up here to line #5.

      And don’t fall off your chair jusy yet, but I am really liking your *description* of Amar 2.0. Yesss, chica. Unlike Nandini and gang, I’m able to make much sense of whatever you *say* (as opposed to *show*) of Khanna & Co. because babes, my drool glands are wired weirdly — they want to respond wonly to words, not visage!

      If I had my way, I would blackmail the powers that be into renaming this great country “United States of Amarika”. About time, don’t you think?

      • Nandini Vishwanath

        May 6, 2010 at 7:53 pm

        lol good one about the Amarika 😛

        But then, how else would these posts be if not for the Man 😉

  3. Gradwolf

    May 5, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    For my generation, it was either Amar Akbar Anthony or Yaadon Ki Baarat that introduced us to the 70s and beyond. For some reason, parents/others chose these as the starting points.

  4. roswitha

    May 6, 2010 at 3:37 am

    Even the thought is uproarious.

  5. DewdropDream

    May 6, 2010 at 4:44 am

    What Roswitha said.

  6. Nandini

    May 6, 2010 at 10:46 am

    NO! Certainly not AAA 😐

    And I couldn’t make much sense of your post.

    After that first pic of Rahul Khanna’s 😀

    I read the previous post too. I couldn’t think beyond my image of Vinod Khanna. Shirtless. Sorry. Your posts are not as good 😛

  7. Shivani

    May 7, 2010 at 11:21 am

    In my humble opinion, 2 Bollywood movies cannot, should not & must NOT be remade. Amar, Akbar, Anthony & Mr.India [I’m not getting into Sholay because the unspeakable has been done already 😛 ]

    Also, is *THAT* John Abraham in the last picture !?!?!?!

    Braided hair, kaajal & threaded eyebrows? what next ? I won’t be surprised if the full length pic reveals him wearing a skimpy bikini. Ugh! I think I find SLB in his b&w, pensive avatar far more attractive :-/

  8. Amrita

    May 8, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    @ Beth – I plead the fifth because the answer will get me banned from the internet 😀

    @ Smirnoff – I think that interview is from way, way back. I think.
    And ha! Just make sure you aren’t in Arizona when you send out that petition.

    @ Adithya – only the finest fare! that’s why!

    @ Roswitha & 3D – Maybe we’ll get a “classic” like Aag!

    @ Nandini – everyone else is just too polite to say so but I knew how it was the moment the first post went up and a mass orgasm took place :mrgreen:

    @ Shivani – yes! That’s john! He looks like a girly alien doesn’t he?

    • Smirnoff

      May 8, 2010 at 8:51 pm

      Ammi jaan thinked right! That interview *is* two years too old. Since everyone suddenly started talking all at once about The Khanna, I promptly presumed the link was to what’s the latest and greatest in his Life As We Know It.

      … Wait.A.Second. Didn’t you say to Sachita during the IPL furore that if it happened TWO years ago, it’s like it never happened at all?

      Aah-ha. It’s all falling into place now. VK doesn’t think, period. You “invented” the interview just so you could get away with masterminding the “retouched for the New Generation” Mumbai Stoners saga, not to mention toying with the idea of dressing up some serious lookers in drag, and giving best friend Beth the chance to bring up Rahul’s butt. Wah-re-wah, Amrita! I should have known… “Good Don” and “God Mother” — if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

      p.s: And boss, what was that instruction reg. petition and Arizona? “You won’t be Abel to flush it down to Capitol-opia using (Mc)Cain’s john” or something like that?

  9. Reema

    May 11, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    hey the pics are totally out of the frame on right side!

    • Amrita

      May 13, 2010 at 4:16 pm

      The wonders of changing my template three times over the past week 😦

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