Scotch Spot

19 Apr
Scotch Spot

Perhaps Christina Hendricks ought to land up in photoshop hell more often if it gives us interviews like this one. I find it hard to disagree with any of it except for that whole Facebook thing because look, I’m part of this brand new thing called Gen Mix apparently? I guess this post is proof of it because it features a celebrity? Anyhoo, we’re all online and social networking like spayed bunnies caught up in The Matrix and there’s nothing we can do about it unless we blow everything up and risk a war with the machines. It’s how we know we’re alive. </Philosophy!>

Er. Never mind. What was I saying?

The point she makes about ordering scotch definitely struck a chord. When I think of men and what makes them adult enough to be interesting to me, it’s a psychological stew of early childhood memories. So it helps if he has a deep voice, is tall, drinks scotch and smokes first thing in the morning while reading newspapers by a dew-wet lawn. It is precisely that specific a combination of my father and grandfather.

[Well, alright, maybe he shouldn’t start dipping into the good stuff until later in the day, and then never to the point where he’s drunk. Learn to hold your liquor, men. A friend of mine once told me a completely horrendous thing – her friends “drank to puke”. Why would you spend good money on prime alcohol to taste your own bile? Bulimics are waggling their forefingers and jeering. It makes no sense. But she lived in Dubai and I figured they needed to find their entertainment where they found it.]

I don’t particularly want to think of my grandpa as a sexy beast but he certainly did have all that monotone business going on. And I strongly associate strength and comfort with tobacco smoke – right up until the moment the doctor told my dad to quit or die, it was how I knew the sun was out and there was a mug of warm Ovaltine on the way.

Ovaltine and nicotine = a match made in heaven. Until they invite their friends diabetes and emphysema to come trash the house, I guess.

So basically, men, read what my imaginary celeb friend Christina has to say because it’s all true. The end.


Posted by on April 19, 2010 in Celebrity, Life, Personal


8 responses to “Scotch Spot

  1. Beth

    April 19, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    If monotonous voices are the thing, then how can we explain the power of The Voice of The Shash?

    You love Don Draper, don’t you?

  2. savvy

    April 19, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    Well thanks for the revelation that some girls like guys who smoke and drink in the early morning . .
    Well that was new!
    Ahem. .

  3. piyush

    April 19, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    ohh umm I sorry, you were saying something?? I was too busy admiring Christina Hendricks….

  4. memsaab

    April 20, 2010 at 9:21 am

    What Beth said.

  5. Scotch Head

    April 20, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    ( also an 8mm camcorder “head” cleaner, in case you’re unaware..)

    All right! “..pad it a bit” and “Chicks dig smarts” did it — I absolutely HAD to sprint over here and see to it that you savored yesterday’s ‘Ga’rfield! 😛

    But seriously, is this post some kind of a sinister ploy to ferret out the bigamists from their burrows? OK then. Have it your way:

    Yes! Whatever Christina-da-bomb notes (at #1 and #15) is all true (but the rest is all bull, IMO). And oh yes, I need my “oooh you always smell like the morning mist” *real* husband just as much as I need my “oooh you decipher the Devil outta my double entendres” imaginary (celeb?) husband. And why oh why couldn’t you roll the twain into one, God, WHY?!

    There you go. I said it. 😀

  6. Shalini

    April 21, 2010 at 9:21 am

    I’m sure Hendrick’s has profound things to say, but what I really want is her red crown of hair. It’s magnificent!

  7. Amrita

    April 24, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Beth & Memsaab – It’s the cumulative effect, of course! The drawl, the smile, the voice, the accent = all together an oral fixation.
    Re: DDraper, oh, the dreams I have. And yet, it’s Roger I want to save. Even though he rides women like ponies around his office and totally doesn’t deserve the fabulous Joan, the cheating bastard. But then I’ve always had a thing for silver foxes and John Slattery in particular even when he was asking Carrie for golden showers. :mrgreen:

    Savvy – mistake become wrong on the grammatical front, my dear 😀

    SHead – HAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! :mrgreen:

    Piyush & Shalini – and this is why she’s a unisex crush!

  8. anonymusketeer

    April 26, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    our planet is truly doomed when we feel the need to photoshop one such as christina hendricks.

    also, she’s largely right. inexplicable, but so it is.

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