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Daily Archives: April 19, 2010

Scotch Spot

Scotch Spot

Perhaps Christina Hendricks ought to land up in photoshop hell more often if it gives us interviews like this one. I find it hard to disagree with any of it except for that whole Facebook thing because look, I’m part of this brand new thing called Gen Mix apparently? I guess this post is proof of it because it features a celebrity? Anyhoo, we’re all online and social networking like spayed bunnies caught up in The Matrix and there’s nothing we can do about it unless we blow everything up and risk a war with the machines. It’s how we know we’re alive. </Philosophy!>

Er. Never mind. What was I saying?

The point she makes about ordering scotch definitely struck a chord. When I think of men and what makes them adult enough to be interesting to me, it’s a psychological stew of early childhood memories. So it helps if he has a deep voice, is tall, drinks scotch and smokes first thing in the morning while reading newspapers by a dew-wet lawn. It is precisely that specific a combination of my father and grandfather.

[Well, alright, maybe he shouldn’t start dipping into the good stuff until later in the day, and then never to the point where he’s drunk. Learn to hold your liquor, men. A friend of mine once told me a completely horrendous thing – her friends “drank to puke”. Why would you spend good money on prime alcohol to taste your own bile? Bulimics are waggling their forefingers and jeering. It makes no sense. But she lived in Dubai and I figured they needed to find their entertainment where they found it.]

I don’t particularly want to think of my grandpa as a sexy beast but he certainly did have all that monotone business going on. And I strongly associate strength and comfort with tobacco smoke – right up until the moment the doctor told my dad to quit or die, it was how I knew the sun was out and there was a mug of warm Ovaltine on the way.

Ovaltine and nicotine = a match made in heaven. Until they invite their friends diabetes and emphysema to come trash the house, I guess.

So basically, men, read what my imaginary celeb friend Christina has to say because it’s all true. The end.

 
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Posted by on April 19, 2010 in Celebrity, Life, Personal