The brief said “be descriptive” – so you can imagine how it went. That’s a terrible thing to say to someone like me who’s never used a word when ten might do.
But answering those questions did remind me of something: why is it that the more misogynistic the song, the better the beats?
Listen to the video above, for example: Pitbull’s I Know You Want Me. It’s basically the anthem for douchebags. The kind that don’t even offend you when you bump into them at some club because they’re so clueless, it’s hilarious. And yet! Plug it into your i-Pod and as long as you don’t understand Spanish and are the kind of person who really doesn’t care about lyrics, and you’ll find yourself merrily clopping along to it on your daily commute.
I’m not being dramatic when I say I really had to scrub 50 Cent from my playlist because that shit was making me depressed. There’s only so much I can hear about women as purchasable commodities being good for just one thing. By month’s end, as Fiddy delightedly informed me “there’s no business like ho business” for the nth time – I didn’t want to board my train, I wanted to jump in front of it.
Everytime I hear people giving the Black Eyed Peas a hard time for making no sense, I wonder what’s worse – Boom Boom Pow and “dem chickens jackin'” Fergie’s style or Lil Wayne’s ode to oral sex? At least when Fergie’s talking about her humps, it doesn’t make me want to take a long bleach bath.
So why do I still listen to hip hop? Because there’s stuff this:
Well, since he’s asking so nicely.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing to me personally is that I don’t have this problem when it comes to Eminem. I know he’s misogynistic and homophobic – I can hear it. It must be the writing that’s helping me over it or something. He simply doesn’t have the The Fiddy Problem as I like to call it. This disturbs me.
Rihanna does a very similar thing with her voice – it doesn’t matter if she’s not making any sense or if she’s singing with people who don’t have anything new to say. She just takes control so that whisky timbre is all you can think about.