Wood of All Sorts

05 Oct
Michael jackson, Bobby Darling and A Woman With Clothes On walk into a shoot...

Michael Jackson, Bobby Darling and A Woman With Clothes On walk into a bar...

If you’ve always wondered whatever happened to those Wonderbra-ed maybe-trannies who worked as bosom-thrusters a.k.a. back-up dancers in Bollywood now that the Ukranians have cornered that particular market… well, do I have some answers for you!

A rose between two thorns

A rose between two thorns

These pictures tell their own story but in case you’re blinded and stupefied by all the elegance in this post, let me tell you that they have all taken refuge in the music videos of DJ Sheziwood (rhymes with “cheesy-wood”).

DJ Who? you ask.

My daddy's suit is so sexxxy!

Meri shirt bhi sexy! Meri pant bhi sexy! Yeh haath bhi sexy hain!

DJ Him! I say!

Youtube suggests his name might actually be DJ Sheizzwood – your usual tomato/ tomahto situation. Cheese-wood, cheesy-wood, big whoop! More importantly, he has a video in which various girls who can’t dance but can definitely jiggle their bosoms lip sync to the voice of some girl who can’t sing but can definitely moan and carry around a cardboard cutout of Brad Pitt, drop through manholes (pun alert!), and feel up a very puzzled middle-aged black man, while raping the hell out of a Shamshad Begum song.

Sometimes, the girls in his videos don’t bounce fast enough to suit him, so he speeds up the footage so you can see them do the hippy hippy shake the way Cthulhu intended it to be done.

Only the queen gets a tiara. Har har.

If only the men would show off their moobs, we'd have a full set.

It’s no wonder the photographer at the shoot went crazy when afforded an opportunity to record this epoch-making video for posterity. Do you know how much talent and effort it takes to turn that old fogey OP Nayyar’s thakela music into something hip and groovy?

Bow! Bow before your new musical overlord!

Woh sab to theek hai, Mummy, but why is Aunty trying to climb on top of me? Hatao.

"Woh sab to theek hai, Mummy, but why is Aunty trying to climb on top of me? Hatao!"


Posted by on October 5, 2009 in Entertainment, Music, Video


12 responses to “Wood of All Sorts

  1. sraboneyghose

    October 5, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    I think those girls are guys in drag esp. in the 2nd. and 4th. pics…

  2. Amey

    October 5, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    I looked at the first photo and thought this was another post about Big Boss. But this is even crazier.

    BTW, please finish that joke.

  3. Gradwolf

    October 6, 2009 at 1:13 am

    Lol, I second sraboneyghose!

    Where do you find these!?

  4. DewdropDream

    October 6, 2009 at 4:53 am

    “Woh sab to theek hai, Mummy, but why is Aunty trying to climb on top of me? Hatao!”


    “Meri pant bhi sexy”


    Something’s wrong with my eyes though … I can see Bobby darling there but I can’t quite get my head around the fact that the rest are trannies … I blame Ekta Kapoor. Even one glance at those overly made-up wooden ‘actors’ in her soaps can forever damage your ability to err … tell what’s what.

    • pitu

      October 6, 2009 at 11:00 am

      I completely agree 😀

  5. maxdavinci

    October 6, 2009 at 8:51 am

    This actually beats bigbss3!

    but then thats 90 days ka non-stop nonsense….

  6. Pranav

    October 6, 2009 at 9:42 am

    I also thought they were guys.. woaaaaa

  7. memsaab

    October 6, 2009 at 10:03 am

    I wonder how long it takes him to get dressed in the morning? And then again in the evening?

  8. Banana Rama

    October 6, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Gosh that remix was so awesome (as was the actual song — can Waheeda of those days possibly look any better… drool!!). 😀 Weird tastes, I know, but Mr.Wood seems to have his finger on the pulse of exactly what does it for me: Babes jumping down a square trap door that doubles up as a circular manhole leading up to subway tracks…traffic lights going green…bouncing the bouncer…dance-floor groovin’…pool-table cavorting… And that Brad Pitt cut-out serving up a nice “Legends of the Fall” touch (c’mon, they ARE nodding to a legend here…OP Nayyar. No?).

    And shush… don’t you badmouth that lady in the fishnet leggings, black stilettos and yellow halter top. Yeh Aunty-Wanty ka tamasha bandh karo aur gaur se dekho… Woh Wood ki Fire hai. Haan. Aur uska naam hai … Venus! 😛

    • Banana Rama

      October 6, 2009 at 2:04 pm

      p.s : About that “Bow! Bow”… you clearly are not yet out of your puppylove cocoon from yesterday! 😀

      And “DJ Who?” reminds me of Sura Wood asking “Gertrude who?” — in a piece for the local paper couple months back.

      Since you just got started (at least as far as the blog goes) muddying your feet in depression era literature (e.g. Public Enemies), thought this fantastic TV sitcom front-runner (a “feminist before feminism”) from that era would tickle your fancy.

  9. Amrita

    October 7, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Bones – I wouldn’t be surprised. Purple Aunty is definitely taking Bobby Darling lessons.

    Amey – Bigg Boss? Pls! Even I have my (low) standards. As for the joke – can’t. Brain fried after sifting through those 72 fotoos.

    Adithya – the internets is a wunnerful place innit?

    3D & Pitu – they’re probably half and half. Half of them wimmins and half of them not… Ekta Mata can’t have booked all the trannies in town!

    Max – oh, you’re watching? why no blog about it then? 😛

    Pranav – they probably are! With big boobies!

    Memsaab – My alternate caption was “Suit boot mein aaya Kanhaiyya, band bajane ko”.

    BR – ARE YOU SERIOUS? I recommend Hard Kaur if you’re so hard up! 😀
    That video made my day however!

    • BRama

      October 7, 2009 at 2:55 pm

      Aaah, Amrita — all the (vicarious) joys of clubbin’, thanks to you! Never heard of Hard Kaur, but a half hour on YT later, haai… Main Talli Ho Gayi! 😛

      Now that I’ve happily let all that earthy head-banging beat the crap out of my center of gravity, let me spend another half hour in recovery… Sagoo ji, here I come! 😀

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