There Will Be Blood

16 Sep

Viggo Mortensen is hot. Like, incredibly so. Apart from that marvelous face and that totally sick body, Aragorn writes poetry in multiple languages, is a trained swordsman, translates poems, established a publishing house for offbeat artistic ventures, paints (you can see his work in A Perfect Murder, the only movie ever to make The Goop look sexy), sings, owns his own label, takes brilliant photographs, and makes interviews sound like performance art. Oh, and in his off time he acts and impresses the pants off people like Roger Ebert and David Cronenberg. He’s so awesome, Dennis Hopper introduces his work.

The only thing vaguely off-putting about him that I’ve ever come across is what appears to be his distressing desire to cross dress as a grandma (click on the pics too, that’s the sweetest little embroidered shirt you’ll see outside of your granny’s wardrobe). But even that’s kind attractive coz it’s not cookie cutter movie star apparel.

Little wonder then, that Viggo fans aren’t your average actor-lovers, satisfied with the random comment or two on blogs and dedicated fan sites. They mean business.

For the past year, for example, the Weinsteins have been sitting on a Viggo-starrer, an adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. From the sounds of it, it’s a pretty faithful rendering of the book, which is not the happiest of stories (too much of an understatement?) ever so beautifully told. Originally slated for the end of 2008, The Road will finally make it’s appearance this November 25.

Unfortunately, if the crowd at TIFF is any indication, 2008 would have been a better fit. This year, Oprah and Tyler Perry have the heartwrenching market all sewn up with Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire, already being hailed as a work of art since it made its bow at Sundance; and the male performance everyone is talking about belongs to George Clooney in what’s being described as the zeitgeist-capturing Up in the Air.

Reactions to The Road, on the other hand, have been pretty much mixed to middling with grudging allowances for Viggo’s work despite the surfeit of Vitamin Water that apparently awaits us post-apocalypse. A few people have waded in with positive reviews, but it’s not anywhere near a slamdunk unlike the other two.

This is not an acceptable state of affairs in the land of Viggo. For the past week, the internet has been fairly seething with resentment for the no-taste hacks who would dare impugn a work of such monumental artistic value as The Road. I mean! The Road! Cormac McCarthy! Father and son! Pulitzer prize! Cannibals! Road trip! Apocalypse! Despair! Charlize Theron! Babies roasting on spits! What the hell do you philistines want?

Well, Clooney and Matt Damon in The Informant! apparently. Or at a pinch, Robert DuvallYeh sab tum logon ka racket hai, Manish Malhotra! …. er, sorry, wrong industry.

I can only imagine the vitriol that awaits poor Colin Firth, who won Best Actor at the Venice fest, if he makes off with the top prize for his performance in A Single Man, freakin’ Tom Ford‘s debut, recently bought by the Weinstein’s with an eye to the Oscars.

Hmm. Actually, I just went back and read the first two paragraphs and now I’m going to be pissed if he doesn’t get nommed. I’m beginning to wonder if he’s some kind of clever Wiki con that just rolls up ten different people into one. Either that, or they cooked him up in a lab somewhere.

My God, Viggophilia is contagious!


Posted by on September 16, 2009 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Movies, News


14 responses to “There Will Be Blood

  1. Aiden R

    September 16, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Can’t freakin’ wait for The Road. Viggo’s awesome, awesome director (check out his first movie, The Proposition), and the book is absolutely phenomenal. October can’t get here fast enough.

  2. Amey

    September 16, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    I was almost ready for, “Oh, and in his off time he reunites lost kittens with their owners and saves dolphins from oil spills” 😉

  3. Gradwolf

    September 17, 2009 at 12:02 am

    The book just made it to here.

  4. Piyush

    September 17, 2009 at 2:15 am

    I am halfway through the book. Planning on finishing it before the movie comes out. From the trailer, the movie doesnt seem to be as dark and bleak as McCarthy describes it in the book.

  5. Gradwolf

    September 17, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Watching Unnaipol Oruvan this weekend!?

  6. Gradwolf

    September 18, 2009 at 1:40 am

    I am going to watch this Road, Movie before The Road:

    • Comma Sutra

      September 21, 2009 at 1:58 pm

      Thanks to you, my work week was book-ended by Abhay Deol: I watched “Ek Chalis Ki Last Local” last Monday, and come Friday, this trailer — I loved that! 😀

      I don’t know about you, but I’m surely fascinated by (anthropomorphism alert) cardinal numbers (e.g. 2) and punctuation marks creeping into two-word Indian movie titles to… I don’t know… proclaim/connote “journey” in a very literal sense?

      I sense of a sort of turning of the tables, watching this trailer; wherein it’s the audience that’s usually being taken places, here, the movie (rolls of film, projector, the works) itself, for a change, is being “chauffeured” — in this case, across the breath-taking deserts of Rajasthan — as if it’s been waiting all this while to get the hell outta the dank, dark confines of the cinema hall and go see the world.

      I know… there’s only so much one can infer from a trailer, unfortunately. 😀

      • Comma Sutra

        September 21, 2009 at 2:03 pm

        p.s: I’m compelled to qualify that last line, in the wake of Amrita’s Wanted: Unless it’s that “rare beast” where the movie is everything the trailer promised, in which case, Woo Hoo!!! 😀

  7. M

    September 18, 2009 at 9:18 am

    Must be something wrong with my genetics – never felt the Viggo love- my first and only reaction on seeing him in LoTR was to show him the nearest bathroom, soap, shampoo and leave him to it 🙂 But he really does all that? hmmm…superman in that case.


  8. abhishek

    September 18, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Do you work in the entertainment business?

    either that you have a lot of free time 😛

  9. Amrita

    September 18, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Aidan – what, he’s directed a movie too? Why am I surprised? 😀 I’ll definitely check it out.

    Amey – dude I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s Superman under that granny shirt.

    Piyush – word is, they punched up the trailer to make it resemble a disaster movie coz that’s easier to market. The movie is apparently just as bleak. Hooray?

    Adithya – I don’t know what it says about me but I’ve read more than a couple of the books on that list. Ew. No wonder I’m such a joyless harridan who gets her laffs at auntiejis screaming their heads off.
    I only heard about Road Movie a day or so ago. What a horrible world we live in where Dil Bole Hadippa gets mammoth amounts of publicity coz Rani Mukherjee dresses up like a pervy Sardar, while a movie that genuinely looks interesting can’t even get word of mouth.
    And yes @ OU if I can get company.

    M – but he is so scrumptious! I’m not a fan of the scruff for scruff’s sake peeps like the Sparkly Vampire Guy but Viggo is something else. He’s just a sexy beast. YUM.

    Abhishek – it’s a well known fact that I’m exceedingly veyla!

  10. Ramyasadasivam

    September 18, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    I was interested in this movie, thanks for your review.


  11. Trackin' in

    September 18, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    First, there was Anglophilia (“that fuzzy feeling in the pit of your tummy that reading Pride and Prejudice and then renting the Colin Firth BBC version will give you…”); then came Francophilia (“Julia Child makes me hungry for French food” “where can I get that ticket to Marseilles?” ok, not necessarily in that order) and now… Viggophilia! My, my… what would be the next stop for this Love Train, I wonder… 😀

    p.s – Looks like Viggo is an old-fashioned renaissance (I-can-paint-sculpt-write-orate-and-fornicate-while-I-invent-engineer-sleepwalk…) type, like Leonardo. Rarest of the rares, in this day and age, no? Down girl, down!

    • Amrita

      September 20, 2009 at 1:44 pm

      Ahahaha, why do I get the feeling that Viggo is exactly the kind of person who’d jump in with enthusiastic choo-choo noises?

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