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Why is Political Smut So Entertaining?

15 Sep

It’s not nice to laugh at aunties shrieking with fear, but I can’t help myself: this video of Jaya Prada, Member of Parliament from Rampur, is probably the greatest thing ever.

Not only is she squealing like a toddler confronted with a giant needle at the pediatrician’s, but the best part is that the geniuses at the TV channel handed the clip over to what appears to be a bunch of Youtube-struck fifteen-year-olds to edit. The end result is like graffiti art for the video crowd.

She screams on a loop as a random crowd of men hasten to reassure her while little word balloons float next to her head, imploring her to stop – “Madam, you don’t cry!” it says. Meanwhile, above the footage of her weepy face, a vaguely accusatory headline wants to know: “Tears in the eyes of Jaya Prada! Why did Jaya Prada cry?”

Why, God, WHY?!

There are a number of competing theories for this: according to the reporter on site, it’s because she’s a namby-pamby movie star and a female one at that and you know what those are like. The uterus did it! According to the lady herself, it’s because she can’t swim and the sight of waist-high muddy water made her feel all weepy in her courage area.

But it was Azam Khan, the man who formerly represented Rampur but got kicked off when Jaya Prada wanted a seat at the table, who brought his A-game to the question du jour. In the kind of interview the English-language newspeople would kill to obtain, he mocks her as a movie star who can’t walk 100 meters (328 feet) without getting blisters on her itsy bitsy footsies, accuses her of election fraud, corruption and then, for an encore, pretty much calls her a whore.

Of course, some enterprising reporter then asked Jaya Prada what she thought of Azam Khan in return and she responded by calling him an old, defeated man who’s quite possibly senile. She kind of attempts to leave it at that before the guy helpfully fills her in on what exactly Azam Khan thinks of her (sadly, they edited this part out but the way she goes from zero to sixty on the rage-o-meter tells its own tale), which leads her to drop all the fake “ji”s and promise to trash talk him if he continues to call her names. And even with her shaky Hindi she managed to implicitly call him a behenchod, so you know she means business.

Somewhere in Los Angeles, Harry Levin weeps as Hindi cable news flaunts the limitations of his empire of sleaze.

Please note, no tears were shed at any point by anybody at all for the people who incidentally provided the context for this drama: the flood-struck population of Rampur.

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16 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2009 in News, Newsmakers, Politics, Video

 

16 responses to “Why is Political Smut So Entertaining?

  1. buddy

    September 15, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Ah but you dint answer your question! it is goddamn entertaining!

     
  2. Prada vs. Chanel

    September 15, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    Oh sweet Jesus, Prada wears out the devil right there! “Jaya ki cheek” says a word balloon, appropriately! “Muft mein melodrama” is what got left out. 😀

     
  3. bollyviewer

    September 15, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Political “smut”, eh? Its so much fun because its so no-holds-barred-wash-your-dirty-linen-in-public-y – not something any of us could ever do in real life!

    Poor Jayaprada – what possessed her to visit a potential screaming hazard with a camera for company?

     
  4. Shivani

    September 16, 2009 at 3:45 am

    Gosh, I read this as a news-item yesterday, but the videos are something else, aren’t they? Who would’ve imagined the sweet-faced JP mouthing gaalis with such elan? Smut indeed

     
  5. Gradwolf

    September 16, 2009 at 6:58 am

    ROFL @ “baieeeeeeee”…..hehehehehehe

     
  6. maxdavinci

    September 16, 2009 at 7:30 am

    ah nothing beats IndiaTV coverage, also didya see the number of ppl on that cart?

    should dial the blue cross and manekaji!

     
  7. M

    September 16, 2009 at 9:48 am

    What fun – did you catch the one about the mantriji’s (which one? Looked like Mayawati) 5-star party – It scrolled past yday evening, while I was working, and I just caught glimpses.

    M

     
  8. memsaab

    September 16, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Ha ha ha! Reminds me only vaguely (because there are actual people in distress behind it all) of Govinda slapping a guy on set while I was in India last year. Indian television ran the loop of the slap endlessly, adding balloons with commentary and sound effects. I was completely mesmerized (when I wasn’t crying so hard from laughter that I couldn’t even see it). Went on for hours.

     
  9. abhishek

    September 16, 2009 at 11:12 am

    How do you call anybody a behenchod implicitly?

    And the last line was a killer, man!! I mean, woman. 😛

     
  10. desiGirl

    September 16, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    rofl!

     
  11. sachita

    September 16, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Her whole reply seems to consist of lines from her hindi films. All that mugging helps, huh? these tv news channel loops get on my nerves. Bring DD news back I saw.

    ps: werent the others just walking in the water in the video?

     
  12. creativekeeda

    September 16, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    hahahahahahahahahaahahhahhaahhahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahaah

     
  13. Amrita

    September 18, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Buddy – thank god for Hindi cable news, otherwise what would we all do?

    PvsC – Jaya ki cheek, Azam Khan refuses to turn other cheek!

    BV – I think she went there expecting to be a gracious lady who waves benevolently at the huddled masses. And then it just blew up in her face.

    Shivani – NOTHING can compete with the visuals of that thing. Best ever!

    Max – First thing I noticed! imagine those poor bullocks when she started screeching in their ear.

    M – no, I unfortunately don’t actually watch Hindi cable news. But I clearly need to. Esp India TV.

    Memsaab – oh my God, I remember that! Also Salman Khan going crazy and lighting into the paparazzi outside court or something like an enraged bull elephant. And Bhajji slapping Sreesanthh. And… Youtube, here I come.

    Abhishek – well, what does it mean when she says she’s sorry she made him into a brother and that he screwed her over? 😀

    Sachita – that was what seriously cracked me up! There’re all these people walking around, pushing that bullock cart out of the water and she’s screaming her head off. Pffft.

    Adithya, DG & CK – heh.

     
  14. Pitu

    September 24, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    Dude, I love love Indiatv. That channel is the best! I watched it constantly when I was visiting India. Other fab news stories were “Jalse ke bahar, Aishwarya Rai ne totka feka. Kiski nazar utari gayi?” Then they promptly showed Ash throwing something outside the Bachchan bungalow and the screen filled with “Amitabh ki? Jaya ki? Khud Aishwarya ki? Ya fir………… Abhishek ki?” They forgot to mention Mr Chipku, Amar Singh himself. And another ‘breaking news’ was “Do sau saal purana aadmi gufaon mein paya gaya… kya ye satya hai?” I was like whaddaya think, duffers? Endless loops of some random mummified corpse I swear. I believe the guy who owns this brilliant channel is that Janta ki Adalat wala Takla Kapoor. Also, Jaya Prada can cuss 😀

     
  15. Pitu

    September 24, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    Ooh ooh I just remembered another headline! They showed Rekha at some filmi function and she was wearing sindoor so they showed endless loops of that with her maang circled in red and an arrow pointing to it with headlines like “Rekha ki maang mein sindoor!! Kyoon pehna Rekha ne sindoor?” ROFL!

     
    • Amrita

      September 24, 2009 at 2:15 pm

      Oh my! That guy! Rajat Kapoor is it? Now it makes so much sense because every single person on that channel speaks in that same, faintly accusatory tone and I wondered what the hell that was about.

       
 
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