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Bridging the North-South Divide

24 Jul

qgmnh

Quick Gun Murugun Bole Hadippa is a movie for Our Times. It ought to be made immediately!

“But Amrita!” you say. “Think! How could this abominable spawn of a movie based on a one-liner about a South Indian cowboy addicted to his sambar and Rani Mukherjee’s latest bout of sadistic hazing by the Chopras possibly be any good?”

Aha! But you think! Now that we live in a world wherein North Indians know that “Udipi Restaurant” is not the capital of the state of Madras Cafe and South Indians are aware that people up north have enough water to take showers, it is past time we came together as a nation and made a North-South lowe ishtory. After all, why must only Punjabis on either side of the border score all the nookie like so and so? Granted, Kamal Haasan did his romba best but that was romba years ago. It’s time for a reboot!

And Quick Gun Murugun Bole Hadippa, the exciting adventure of a swashbuckling dosa-fiend who wins the heart of a rough and tumble Punjabi cricketer by unleashing the power of sambar, would be perfect!

No longer will Southies be limp-wristed Bharatnatyam exponents lusting after scornful Northie girls – now nubile Northie girls will be doing the balle balle over the dashing technicolor cowboy of the Nilgiris. When the bad guys attack, national integration will come into its finest hour as the two take a deep breath blow them all away with the power of asafoetida. It’ll even have fashionably homoerotic undertones – and if any Mukti Morcha type person complains, then the movie can deploy the Rani-is-a-woman defense!

I foresee it becoming the new Roja – destined to be aired without fail every August 15th.

[Quick Gun Murugun & Dil Bole Hadippa]

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20 Comments

Posted by on July 24, 2009 in Entertainment, Fiction, Movies

 

20 responses to “Bridging the North-South Divide

  1. pitu

    July 24, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    The power of asafoetida! YOU SLAY ME! hahaha! Here’s a ‘sang’ for you.

    Balle balle said the kudi
    to the Soudie Erroll Flynn
    I don’t want your love lollipop, she sang
    Podi Podi Podi!

    But my louve, see my pelvic thrusts
    In the sequinned lungi
    Marjawa! she screeched
    as he leered You are very changi ;-D

    Can this be the title ‘sang’?

     
    • sachita

      July 24, 2009 at 4:57 pm

      please to hire HRH Pitu-jeeee to be the song/dialogue writer for this movie.

      “South Indian cowboy addicted to his sambar” – wth???

       
      • Soni Kudi

        July 25, 2009 at 2:38 am

        “Think” sachita! She obviously means “South Indian cowboy addicted to his sambar deer, Rani Mukherjee.” (Mukti Morcha zindabad!, PETA zindabad: cue end of comment.)

        Pitu madam, lav-lee ‘sang’!

        Amrita madam, you pitch thee bril-ee-ant story! (See, one stone, two birds! Easy. How? “Think!” 1) Put fountain-pen to paper 2) Write second story: Bee Movie + Antz = Insectonomatopoeia (the music practically writes itself.) 3) Voila! Am’s Antz-sequel dream comes true. And no, they didn’t say “As easy as 1,2,3” for nothing.)

        Oh hey, if Pitu is writing ‘sangs,’ I’m writing the international-release title. How about Loins of Punjab Presents…Sambar Sylvester? (What? Shabana and Stallone will come after you with a rolling pin and boxing gloves? And how is that my braplum?)

         
  2. Amey

    July 24, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    OK. Now just imagine what will be the result if Rajinikanth’s stunts meet Bhojpuri songs.

    BTW,

    now nubile Northie girls will be doing the balle balle over the dashing technicolor cowboy of the Nilgiris.

    Isn’t that the almost standard in most South Indian language cinema now?

     
  3. Gradwolf

    July 25, 2009 at 5:16 am

    Haha Amey is right. That’s been standard in most South Indian cinema for almost a decade now. You just need one hand to count the actresses who dub for themselves.

    But Rajinikanth in a Bhojpuri song is absolutely ROFL material. Or how about Shahrukhan going, “Yaarakum kalyanam? Neka…Nokaa…Nekkum nokkuma!?”

    @Pitu: Woah, we need more such lyrics in Hindi cinema. Brilliant!

    And Podi Podi reminds me of this! Did you get a chance to check this out, Amrita?:

     
  4. naren

    July 26, 2009 at 12:19 am

    Hilarious! And LOL @ Pitu’s lyrical masterpiece!

     
  5. memsaab

    July 27, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    MAKE IT HAPPEN Amrita!

     
  6. Gaurav

    July 27, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    I agree it ought to be made IMMEDIATELY! Hilarious post!

    @pitu’s ‘sang’- it rocks!!

     
  7. maxdavinci

    July 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    kamal gaaru already bridged the divide with his maama inside sardar outside getup!

    loved the grfficksu in the image btw!

     
  8. Soni Kudi

    July 28, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    I came here. You weren’t there. So I decided to have me a rollicking time anyway, with Babbloo babbling about Shahrukh = Michael Jackson. (Note to self: ROFL for rest of day. Then get some rest.)

    So, Babbloo’s Bobby Anjali is actually Bunty’s bhabhi…did I get that right?! Bindaas, man!

     
  9. Gagan

    July 28, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    This is what I gleaned from living in the South for a few years. It’s a lot less melodramatic than the North. True north and south the films can equally silly or good depending on the goal in mind, entertainment or art. But the North is so punju. Song lyrics tend to be I am the King of the world and you are the hottest thing alive, so destiny requires that we be together. Huge drums, sound sets. So over the tops. The south, sweet songs, about two people, the emotion is between two and not the publicity stunt that the relationship is going to be. Yeah, it’s a huge generalization I realise but something I couldn’thelp but notice, as a resident outsider all my life it just can’t be helped. 🙂

    great to get it all together and see what comes of it. funny stuff Amrita all the same

     
  10. sachita

    July 30, 2009 at 4:15 am

    Vacation?
    Couldnt you leave some pre-dated posts?:)
    -Greedy reader.

     
  11. sachita

    July 30, 2009 at 4:15 am

    sorry post-dated posts!

     
  12. Sakshi

    July 30, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    Off topic- Is something wrong with your feeds or is it just me? My reader (Bloglines) did not get any new updates after the doozy Tussaar interview.

     
  13. Amrita

    August 1, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    Hello peeps! Miss me? Sorry for the giant spaz out….

    Pitu & Soni Kudi – You’re hired!

    Sachita – sorreeeeeeeeee! I’ll make up for it this week.

    Amey – its a good thing this isnt Rediff or you’d have been snowed under by billions of angry comments about the greatness of southindian cowboys! 😀

    Gagan – you must be watching Malayalam movies because the last few Tamil and Telugu movies would put Bollywood out of business! 😀

    Memsaab, Naren, Gaurav – I’ll get right on it! hee!

    Max – ha, I still haven’t seen that movie. I might have to now.

    Sakshi – everything seems to be ok…? Hmmm.

    Adithya – aiyyo! somebody explain how Shriya Saran is such a big deal. Personally, I prefer this when it comes to poda songs:

     
  14. Amey

    August 1, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    (Continuing the rediff theme), since it it South India, it should be “sambhared under”, not “snowed under”.

     
  15. pitu

    August 1, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    OMG my cousin loves this. He sings it over and over and over! argh!

     
  16. Amey

    August 4, 2009 at 9:24 am

    You had to write this post, didn’t you? And now Mika is taking you seriously.

     
    • Amrita

      August 4, 2009 at 2:43 pm

      muahahaha! I has the power!

       
      • Amey

        August 4, 2009 at 3:15 pm

        Use it wisely.

         
 
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