Celebrity is Cold Work

23 Jun


What kind of crazy weather is it when the husband is sweating out his armpits and the wife is huddled up in a sweater? Either Katie Holmes needs to eat a few more meals to get a comforting coat of blubber insulation or Tom Cruise needs to invest in a better quality of antiperspirant.

Of course, they could just be suffering from a case of The Marrieds: a condition in which a man and a woman can never co-exist in the same weather conditions, even if they’re stuck in the same room or the same bed, because it’s a violation of the sanctity of marriage.

Think I’m imagining things? Look at Cameron Diaz – she’s clearly in the same climate zone as Tom. Why? Because she’s not married to him. The rules don’t apply.

When Ram and Sita were stuck in the jungle, I bet Sita was huddled under a ton of moss blankets and refusing to let a sweaty Ram poke a hole in lieu of a window in the hut because the nights were “so cold”. He probably wanted to make a nice blanket for her out of the golden deer so she’d at least let him get some damn air at night.

What is it with married people?


Posted by on June 23, 2009 in Celebrity


25 responses to “Celebrity is Cold Work

  1. sachita

    June 23, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Irony is, in this snap she looks almost close to Tom’s age! Whatever happened to the cute gal from few years ago.

  2. ramesh

    June 23, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    no way that’s Katie .. mom in law probably

  3. Never Mind

    June 23, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    Aaaah, that explains why I always insist on snuggling up under the comforter, while the husband talks about going out to get fresh air!
    And Ewwww…. at Tom. Even B grade bollywood stars wear better deo.

  4. pitu

    June 23, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    Katie is such an auntyji :p

  5. Much Marr(i)ed

    June 23, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    LOL @ Ram’s scheme for golden-deer blankie for Sitaji! (And hey, didn’t you want to mow down Bambi with your car earlier…Now, this. Hmmm. But what do we know? Maybe ‘am Rita too, just like Ms. Hayworth, is “basically a good, gentle person, but attracted to mean personalities.” 😀

    And talk about timing, I was OD’ing on re-runs of “Married with Children” and “Everybody Loves Raymond” all of last week. Here are some masterpieces, beginning with that nothing-else-like-it Bundy theme song.

    1) Bundy buys undies.

    2) Peggy luvs teevee.

    3) Ray’s bathroom brawl.

    Isn’t marriage the whoopa-loopa absolute? 😀

  6. Amey

    June 23, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    In the first para last sentence, is it too much to ask for an “and” instead of “either… or”? Some sort of “golden mean” would have been nice in there.

  7. rads

    June 23, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    rofl. God bless you, I so needed that laugh. 🙂

  8. Mamma Mia! Me a Mamma?!?

    June 24, 2009 at 12:27 am

    “What is it with married people?”

    We come from different planets. And our biology is different.For example: women have silky, smooth, paper-thin, transluscent skin. Men have thick skin. (that would explain the sweating vs. the sweater)

    • memsaab

      June 24, 2009 at 2:01 pm

      My poor Mom is always dying for fresh air and my Dad is cold 🙂

  9. Gradwolf

    June 24, 2009 at 4:05 am

    Is that the cute girl from Dawsons Creek? Marriage does that too to you? Who knew!

    If only Cameron Diaz had turned around to make up for all that.

  10. DewdropDream

    June 24, 2009 at 5:01 am

    First you see her wearing outsize clothes which make her look like a worse version of Pixie Geldof (if that’s possible) and then she turns up looking like her hurband’s mother-in-law. What’s up with that I ask?

    That’s Cameron Diaz? This photo needs a caption desperately. Why is Tom trying to get Cameron’s attention while Katie tries to does a ‘welcome to the family’ act? And why is the guy behind dressed in a wool suit (what looks like)… oh wait. Law of marrieds. He’s not married to katie so they feel the same weather conditions 😛

    • MM(i)d

      June 24, 2009 at 7:48 pm

      “Law of marrieds.” — Ah, a Newtonian nod to Am-“Conan Doyle”-rita’s “A case of The Marrieds” — Love it! 😀 (Yeah right, Newton “wormholed” himself 200 years into the future to pat Sir Arthur Conan Doyle on the back, now wouldn’t that be nice? If only all these 17th century scientific geniuses and the 19th century literary giants could somehow coexist in the cosmic continuum, sigh.)

  11. maxdavinci

    June 24, 2009 at 11:14 am

    tere patli kamar main hain jadooo!

    sorry, but thats the first thing that comes to pic on seeing the pic….

  12. sachita

    June 24, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    On a completely different note, i dont know if you remember the discussion in your comment space few months ago about Obama’s words on Kashmir.–bi-04

    “And we want to be helpful in that process, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to be the mediators in that process”

    he has come around, no?

  13. dipali

    June 24, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    Have yet to come across a married couple with the same temperature requirements:)

  14. Ramsu

    June 25, 2009 at 6:12 am

    Maybe it’s a Scientology initiation rite. Maybe she gets information on an incremental ten thousand past lifetimes for every extra item of clothing she wears. Her facial expression seems to suggest that she’s smiling through her grimace at having to do this.

    Now, any sensible religious cult that counts Katie Holmes and Kelly Preston among its followers would’ve done it in reverse, but I don’t think anyone accused L Ron Hubbard of being sensible anyway.

    • Jest-A-Jersey

      June 25, 2009 at 12:27 pm

      Mythology, Cosmology and scare-the-bejeezus-outta-me Scientology, all colluding to deconstruct a woman-in-white’s warm wear…Wow! 😀

      • Jest-A-Jersey

        June 25, 2009 at 5:16 pm

        p.s: On a side note, just wondering if anyone has thought to deconstruct — in addition to the “jiggly” jersey — the out-stretched arms gesture of the trio. I mean, when you look at this pic in light of that recent post about rogue governments, doesn’t it seem to say something along the lines of “Arms are for hugging, people! Not putting holes thru chests of passers-by”?

  15. Kokonad

    June 25, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    I have always always felt sorry for Katie Holmes! 😦 Damn Tommy Cruise.

  16. desigirl

    June 26, 2009 at 2:27 pm


    Little Tommy is sooo ickle.

  17. Amrita

    June 26, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    Sachita, Ramesh & Pitu – sigh, remember the first Batman movie with Christian Bale? Compare and contrast 😦

    Never Mind – you can’t really tell. Just the other day I saw Ash in something with pit stains! I swear! I don’t remember which movie but I was riveted!

    Much Married – I just like to kill things apparently! Thanks for the links – they made for some excellent procrastination.

    Amey – awww, you think I spent that much time on it? heh.

    Rads – anytime babe! 🙂

    Mamma – Unless you’re Indian, in which case you both resemble werewolves 😛

    Memsaab – ah, that’s another thing: once they get older, it switches around and the men spend all their time freezing while the women have hot flashes.

    Adithya – be grateful she didn’t! Girl has some serious botox / chemical peel face in it.

    3D & MMiD – lolz!

    Max – don’t you mean “skeletal kamar”? brrr.

    Sachita – or something! I can see why he can’t simply ignore it the way they have in the past because America is getting mroe and more embroiled in Pakistan but at least he isn’t saying anything concrete yet. Btw, did you catch that bit from Politico where he said he like Urdu poetry and could cook keema and dal? awww!

    Dipali – that’s because that would be a SIN!

    Ramsu – you should totally start a religion. And get David Beckham to sign up for it. Ahem.

    JaJ – more like Nosferatu longs for company!

    Koke – meh, I’d feel a lot sorrier for her if she hadn’t signed on willingly.

    DG – there’s a website out there that calls him the Gay Midget Dwarf 😀

    • Jest-A-Jersey

      June 27, 2009 at 12:18 am

      LOL @ “more like Nosferatu longs for company!” You know you’re really good when you can make both Bram Stoker and Max Schreck turn in their graves. 😀

  18. desigirl

    June 28, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Gay Midget Dwarf????? Sounds a tad, I dunno, peado-ish?

  19. the mad momma

    July 3, 2009 at 11:59 am

    its one of the basic requirements for a happy marriage – a partner who cannot tolerate the temperature you flourish in

  20. Rahul Sharma

    July 17, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    Dipali asked my Question!

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