Dear Simon Cowell,
Stop making me want to watch Britain’s Got Talent! I gave you years on American Idol, I won’t make the same mistake twice no matter how many Youtube sensations come out of your show. I’m on to you!
Now that I’ve told him off, have you seen this video of Fabia Cerra? I’m always in awe of burlesque performers like Dita von Teese because I can only guess at the kind of self-confidence required to strip off and dance in front of crowds of people, but at least they look like what I imagine they should look like. The young Cerra in her home video, for example, fits the model to a T.
But to take that act on national TV with her present day body? Any woman you care to ask will tell you how she obsesses over various body parts – stretch marks on her inner arm that are invisible to everybody else but which appear the size of highway lanes when she looks at them; tiny moles on her neck that seem to grow out of her body like alien growths when she takes a look in the mirror first thing in the morning; hardly noticeable pimples that loom the size of mountains when she cautiously probes them with a gentle fingertip. We won’t expose our arms because they’re not shaped like Michelle Obama’s, our legs because they don’t match Marilyn Monroe’s, we’ll wear shapeless tops because our bustline doesn’t compare to Scarlett Johansson’s…
This may perhaps be the moment when I should froth at the mouth about the decay of modern society and public indecency or something, but frankly what Fabia Cerra did is one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen a woman do.
The only thing that really bothers me is that this is the second time in a row I’ve been in accord with the judges on a particular reality show. Apocalypse now, indeed.
PS – I remembered the NSFW tag! Finally. Although frankly, anybody who peeps over your shoulder at work is going to need a few moments to adjust their eyes so they can understand what’s going on.