Team Polar Bear

12 Apr

Nom, nom, nom, SCRUNCH!

Nom, nom, nom, SCRUNCH!

In case you were wondering, the above photograph is of some lady who decided to pay the polar bears at the Berlin Zoo a friendly little visit. At feeding time, no less.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Although nobody has yet come out with an official explanation of her actions (such as mental illness, gross stupidity or dumb friends in the habit of making moronic bets), one obvious theory is that she was so taken with Knut, the adorable baby polar bear who was hand-reared at the Zoo after he and his brother were rejected by their mother, that she apparently lost her marbles and decided that she wanted to meet him. Which would explain the gigantic idiot grin on her face as she’s swimming towards the bears.

Argh. If I live to be a hundred, I’ll never understand what the hell is wrong with the crazy people who think grown wild animals are refugees from a Disney film. Little Simba was cute as all hell, but in the real world? When he grows up, he’ll eat you as soon as see you and say hakuna matata to that.

Baby animals are cute and affectionate and funny and all the things that human babies are… and just like humans, they grow up and turn out pretty much true to their species. While most of them might remember their handlers, there is no reason why that affection ought to spill over to random people who feel like swanning around their living rooms.

How would you feel if you woke up one morning and saw some stranger in your kitchen? I bet you’d shoot first and ask questions later. And that’s somebody of your own species. In polar bear terms, they had a taste before they asked any questions.

Wild animals do not make exotic pets. It’s bad enough they’re stuck in a zoo, they don’t need you to molest them on top of that. Leave them alone.


Posted by on April 12, 2009 in Life, News, Newsmakers, Video


7 responses to “Team Polar Bear

  1. Kokonad

    April 12, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    I am wondering when Nancy Grace will do a whole (six-eight month) stint on this. (Just imagine her stooping over the table and talking like it is THE most important thing on the planet, even more than the recession)
    She will have paparazzi follow both the polar bear and the woman. They will unearth de-ice some dirty secrets of the polar bear’s family up there in the north pole – like their die hard addiction to fish, and how they sleep through most of the year. On the other hand, the paparazzi might find that the woman might have a chronic hug addiction and always wanted to go big. So she went bear.

    Whatever. I don’t like Nancy Grace. 😐

    Aside, nice post. 🙂

  2. pitu

    April 12, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    What? You think my plan of jumping into the cute lil tiger exhibit at Lincoln pk zoo is a bad one? But…. I saw the nice Tigger playing with a pumpkin! And I am pretty sure he said pituuuuuuu pituuuuuuuuu wont you come out at playyyyyyy wid meeeeeeee? Hmmmm.. BTW I actually have a friend (alive!) who went inside the elephant exhibit back at Lagos zoo. She was 2 yrs old 😀 Her mom went all hysterical and stuff and they managed to get ole S out but… yeah…

  3. Mamma Mia! Me a Mamma?!?

    April 13, 2009 at 3:00 am

    Yup, this confirms it…people are stupid!

  4. naren

    April 13, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Reminds me of The lady from Niger
    Who went for a ride on a tiger
    They came back from the ride
    With the lady inside
    And a smile on the face of the tiger

    This merits a Darwin award

  5. aroy

    April 13, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    maybe she confused it with this zoo

  6. M

    April 13, 2009 at 1:48 pm


    that’s why natural selection exists…..should have just let the polar bear at the lady!



  7. Amrita

    April 13, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    Koke – ew, you said “n***y g***e” 😛

    Pitu – I think you hear it wrong: the lion was actually saying “Pitu, Pitu come fill my tummee” 😀

    Aroy – she probably doesn’t even know Argentina’s been discovered yet! 🙂 But damn, half of me really wants to go to Argentina now! (The other half wants to know what pills they’re feeding those animals.

    Mamma / Naren / M – yup. 🙂

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