Fameball Rakhi Sawant is getting married. On TV. According to her: “Everything I’ve got, I got it from televijon… now I want true love and I’m going to get it from televijon too!”
After a massive worldwide hunt, Interpol found said television cowering under the radio’s bed, trembling in fear. Confidential sources inform us that as agents led the defeated teevee away, radio stood waving on the steps with a nasty grin on its face, playing its song. Ow-a ow-a.
Now you know why ad rates are so expensive – the teevee was saving its pennies so it could book a one way trip to outer space. That god-awful Life on Mars ending last week? Wish fulfillment.
Things only settled down a bit when it realized Rakhi was looking for a man, not a machine. No, not even a love machine. Check out the promo for Rakhi ka Swayamvar above for details on how to apply.
[Oh, please, please, please, won’t one of you apply? It would be the bestest thing ever. Not that I’d ever ask any of you to get married for my cheap laughs, but you could go for an audition or something. For purely journalistic reasons. No?]
So, yes – the teevee has gone back to mocking us. Because we can’t rewind and we’ve gone too far. Pictures came and broke your heart.
PS: remember when Madhuri Dixit did this show that married off random people? Google tells me it was India’s first reality show and it was called Kahin na Kahin Koi Hai. The reviews were, um, scorching but the official photogallery in all its Hum Aapke Hain Kaun-meets-Devdas glory is hilarious. So I have to ask, did any of you watch it? I know there are a few Madhuri-addicts out there. Come out, come out, wherever you are! And tell us how come the website for the show is still up, without a single mention of the people who were on it. Didn’t anybody “win”?