“Whenever a hand rises against Hindus,” said Varun Gandhi, proud BJP candidate from mother Maneka Gandhi’s constituency (yes, some people will seriously vote anybody into office) of Pilibhit, “Varun Gandhi shall cut it off!”
Evildoers everywhere heard him speak and died laughing got real scared!
And then they realized his name is Varun Gandhi. So first he’ll tell Mummy all about it, then he’ll think really hard about it for a whole minute, cry, write about it in his private top secret diary (Do Not Read!), eat six of his favorite chocolate cupcakes, text his best friend, sigh, go out… and hire an army to do it, Gandhi-style. He’s got a family tradition to keep up after all.