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Two Desi Girls in L.A.

09 Jan
Making you cry "Mommy" for more reasons than one.

I'm doing this as a favor to Twinkle, you bastards!

First up is Deepika Padukone at the Chandni Chowk to China premiere. I believe they invented the word “breathtaking” for occasions like these.

Somebody‘s been taking Vidya Balan lessons, I see.

This is what I call a DIY outfit: her grandmother’s velvet curtains will keep her bosom warm; and she probably made the year of the demented eight-year-old that spent all of last Sunday plastering her mother’s lace doilies with stick-em-stones so her favorite movie star could wear it around her neck.

deepika2

Now her bosom's green/ now her bosom's blue/ I wish my eyes were shut with glue.

But what I really want is the name of the person who convinced her to wear these things. And then I want them to tell me what she did to them.

“Designer-ji, I want to look like Waheeda Rehman in Guide.”

“Dahlink, I have just want you need – velvet, rhinestones, netting, a gauzy white saree I filched from those stingy Ramsay brothers and a lehenga that I’ll stitch with my very own hands out of kitchen aids, all bathed in green… it’ll be so 60s! An LSD trip through tinsel! Geddit? Henh, henh, henh, honk!”

I kill and eat you now.

Multi purpose, high fashion aluminium foil

Meanwhile, Slumdog Millionaire‘s Frieda Pinto who was probably paid with all the McAloo Tikki Sandwiches she could eat, wore this to the Critics Choice Awards.

Deepika used to be me; then she got successful

Adore me!

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25 Comments

Posted by on January 9, 2009 in Celebrity, Entertainment

 

25 responses to “Two Desi Girls in L.A.

  1. M

    January 9, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Amrita,

    LOL…Deepika’s first sari pic was just SO wrong in so many ways! It reminded me of the “modest” Shakuntala-style blouses dancers wore in the 60s/70s, where the blouse, except for the bust itself was made of a somewhat nude-colored material…I figured this was Manish Malhotra’s attempt to “modernize” that look! And yes, MM is the perpetrator of both these atrocities…which is not surprising (to me) at all…he seems to specialize in outfits that look like an consecutive explosions in paint sequin factories – remember the horrible orange number on Vidya Balan?

    But all criticism of the aesthetics aside, I love that Deepika wore Indian outfits to both premeires, and actually like the cut/style of the lehnga – look at the full-face version of it – it has a nice Chinese-collared choli, so different from the scraps of cloth that most lehngas now seem to come with. She wears the mermaid-style lehnga well too, a feat I, in my rotundity, could never hope to accomplish 🙂

    M

     
  2. complicateur

    January 9, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Quick comment before I run off to adore Freida. Is that a toga? How is it fair that she looks this good in a desgin that is as old as the Roman empire?

     
  3. rads

    January 9, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    LOL@your post as always. 🙂

    Deepika does look demure, but she is pretty! Frieda, o i donno.

     
  4. pitusultan

    January 9, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    I do believe Deeps is now in the elite company of parrot green sari wali Ash at Cannes and saffron mujrewali Vidya at Filmfares.

     
  5. pitusultan

    January 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    Actually, why exactly do desi actresses do this stupid thing where they wear western numbers in India for Indian award functions/premieres and the minute they’re out of the country, it’s all ‘exotic’ India with the lehngas and saris. How hypocritical is that? LA mein lehnga, Mumbai mein gown! :-p

     
  6. shweta

    January 9, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    I am taking issue with their shoes- wth are those???? eegh!!!!!!!!!! Freida’s I can just about tolerate, but Deepika’s sandals’ provide a v fugly glimpse :S

     
  7. DewdropDream

    January 9, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    HAHA at your captions… Amrita you are SO funny!!! If those are Manish Malhotra outfits then someone hand him an alarm clock… he’s desperately in need of a wake up call.

    And joining Pitu in wondering at these actresses going all Indian abroad and westernised at home. Wth I ask you?

     
  8. naren

    January 9, 2009 at 11:57 pm

    Chemical composition of a Bollywood fashion designer
    The following elements were found, in the proportion mentioned

    1. Gayness – 12.87%
    2. Closeness to film personalities- 16.11 %
    3. Propensity to address everyone as Daaahlinggg! – 33.04%
    4. Name-dropping skills – 22.14%
    5. Weirdness of manner – 15.1%
    6. Design sense – 0.76%

    We declare this to be true and accurate, though we were unable to actually slaughter a complete fashion designer and analyse ‘it’ thoroughly, but we’ll do the analysis again, if any one can slaughter one for us

    Chief Analyst, National Fashion Designer Analysis Agency

     
  9. wordjunkie

    January 10, 2009 at 2:13 am

    Freida looks like she ran there straight from the shower.

     
  10. Mamma Mia! Me a Mamma?!?

    January 10, 2009 at 2:46 am

    Was DP trying to be all exotica personified? Well, she failed miserably! She should have stuck to a nice Kanjeevaram from her mom’s closet…she couldn’t have gone wrong there.

    As fro Ms Frieda, the innocent baby-doll-waif look? Really! I agree with wordjunkie’s comment too!

     
  11. Nikhil Narayanan

    January 10, 2009 at 8:15 am

    And the killer was what some TV channel said.
    Deepika in ethnic Indian costume!!
    Ya,rite!! I go out of my house and see such clothes!
    In which part of India is this attire ethnic,seriously!

    Amrita,
    Absolutely “breathtaking” ROLF post. 🙂

    -Nikhil

     
  12. Nikhil Narayanan

    January 10, 2009 at 8:15 am

    ROFL* I meant 😀

     
  13. Kokonad

    January 10, 2009 at 9:55 am

    Is it me or has Deepika not been eating? 😮

    But she does look really pretty!

     
  14. maidinmalaysia

    January 10, 2009 at 11:07 am

    rofl:-)

     
  15. Darshit

    January 10, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    I just cant stop laughing. Disastrous designs i must say. Made me remember aish at cannes. Horrible is small word.

     
  16. ravi

    January 10, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    Might as well have gone nude. Who designed this crap?

     
  17. Banno

    January 11, 2009 at 1:34 am

    Deepika’s outfits not only look horrendous, they are also tacky and sloppy. Not well-stitched or draped. She looks so uncomfortable in them. And the green. Well, it’s the green of my bedroom walls, and it looks much better there, than on Deepika. 🙂

     
  18. Amrita

    January 11, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    M – I dunno, it seems to me that I’d rather they wore something western than something Indian that’s absolutely hideous. I remember when Mallika was slutting it up in Cannes and everybody was like ooh, indian slave girl outfit, sexy! And I thought, bleurgh. Not that this is anywhere near as bad, of course 😀 But still… The mermaid outfit was ok from the front I guess but I still don’t like the metal overtone. Totally agree with you on the silhouette though!

    Complicateur – I’m not a huge fan of the greco silhouette, unless it’s being word by a woman with sizable curves (cat deeley can wear it anytime! ditto bipasha!) but yes, frieda is pretty yummy. AND she dresses her age!

    Rads – I have such high hopes for Deepika as a clothes horse! But I think Sonam Kapoor is actually the better dresser.

    DDD / Pitu – “LA mein lehnga, Mumbai mein gown” – dono badnaam!

    Shweta – it completes the outfit, you see! her mother’s chappals!

    Naren – I accept your credentials as a person who actually attends fashion shows! 😛

    Wordjunkie – it IS a bit towel-y now that you mention it! But she’s so cute yaar!

    Mamma – oooh, I’d love it if Deepika brought back the Kanjeevaram! I can’t wear them because they make my bottom look like the back end of a bus, but I do love to see them.

    Nikhil – probably the state of Bimar. 😉

    Koke – actresses don’t eat! When they eat they turn into Vidya Balan. (mean, I know)

    Maidinmalaysia – 🙂

    Darshit – it does bring back some unfortunate memories doesnt it?

    Ravi – now THAT i would like to see! I believe it’s a gentleman called Manish Malhotra who had exactly one good idea – dyeing chiffon sarees in bright colors and straightening the hair of heroines.

    Banno – did you also accent it with stainless steel the way Deepika has? it’s like a star wars convention on her body.

     
  19. desigirl

    January 12, 2009 at 5:14 am

    I think i love the comments section as much as i love the article. the heading made me wonder for a mo “when did i go to LA?” and “why is ams calling me fat?”

    talk abt ego trip!

     
  20. memsaab

    January 12, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Ah but Freida looked divine at the Golden Globes last evening 🙂

     
  21. sachita

    January 14, 2009 at 4:21 am

    Have you noticed how frieda looks ordinary if you consider her as an indian and pretty if you consider her as hollywood exotic star?

    I dont know how these people find velvet pretty, it can be on kids dresses or the linng of jewelery boxes.

     
  22. 30in2005

    January 15, 2009 at 6:59 am

    The London metro had a picture of Deepkia dahlink wearing a puff ball peach dress from go alone knows where to teh Leicester Square premier of the CC2C. And Akshay in checf trousers. I’m not sure who looked worse. this does not do it justice:
    http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?Watch_out,_Deepika_just_learned_kung_fu&in_article_id=475062&in_page_id=7

     
  23. 30in2005

    January 15, 2009 at 7:03 am

    Found the picture. Enjoy!
    http://news.sawf.org/Bollywood/56041.aspx

     
  24. Amrita

    January 15, 2009 at 10:35 am

    DG – !!! I’d never call you fat! Even if you were which I’m sure you’re not!

    Memsaab – you liked that dress? I thought it overwhelmed her but the color was pretty nice on her. But I’m willing to cut her some slack coz she’s so young and new to this.

    Sachita – not until you mentioned it 😀 I think she’s very poised which came through when she was standing next to SRK on that stage. I don’t hate velvet unilaterally, but I do wish people would be more careful what they do with it. There’s good velvet and then there’s a whole lot of bad velvet. Deepika’s was very bad car upholstery velvet.

    30in2005 – it’s the Wrath of Barbie! Wtf was that?! LOL!!!

     
  25. Amrita

    January 15, 2009 at 10:36 am

    And Akshay too! PLAID trousers? well, i guess his nuts were warm at least.

     
 
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