This is some powerful moron juice at work:
20-year-old male student surnamed Liu jumped over the fence at the zoo in the tourist city of Guilin, ignoring warning signs not to…The panda, named Yangyang, was wide awake. Apparently scared by the intruder, he bit at Liu’s arms and legs…”Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him,” Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed. “I didn’t expect he would attack.”
Yeah, I bet Yangyang’s number one desire is a sweaty embrace from an idiot tourist. I wonder why he attacked?
Well, I have a theory. It’s The Disney Effect. You know how Disney has all these child stars it discovers, packages, promotes, and sells? And how eventually they all start acting up so they can get out of their contracts? Well, I think the animals have taken note and this sudden rash of cuddly animal violence is a message being sent to the powers that be at Disney.
Look what Bambi’s up to these days:
“It came right at me, from about 10 feet away. I tried to run at an angle, but it caught me flush in the back right leg, impaled me with its weight, knocked me to the ground. It started to come right at my face with its antlers.”
The buck impaled Genn in the chest, but in the tussle he managed to land a swift kick to the animal’s underbelly, causing it to momentarily abate. Genn said he then screamed for his wife to get the dog. As his wife approached the dog, the deer rammed Genn for the third time.
“It impaled me in the groin area. At that point, literally, I took the antler and pulled it out of me.”
Yeeowtch! And you don’t even want to know the stuff Mickey and Donald have been doing on their off time.