Hold Me, I’m Scared

23 Oct
I vant to drink your blood

I vant to drink your blood

I pretty much knew Madhur Bhandarkar’s much-awaited (?) Priyanka Chopra-Kangana Ranaut starrer Fashion was going to be a disaster in one respect at least: the clothes. But man! This level of fug… it’s almost a work of genius.

Listen, I'm getting paid for this.

To get this look, you first walk into a dark room...

I don't know, but I'm asking for a raise!

Oo la la la HOO, Oo la la la HOO, HURR HURR!

Well, at least I'm wearing something!

Shiny nipples - it's all the rage!

Lend me your grass skirt.

Sudden bulimia attack. It'll wipe off.

Ahahaha! Beeyotches! Guess who's been making friends?

An Exclusive Look @ The Parveen Babi Garage Sale

Look! An actual skirt! I'm moving up!

Shiny crotch: it's all the rage!

Not after I'm done with you.

Coming Soon: Revenge of the Corpse Bride

I'd care but I have something up my nose.

You want me to say "Moo"?


Posted by on October 23, 2008 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Movies


25 responses to “Hold Me, I’m Scared

  1. Pitu

    October 23, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    Gee thanks Amrita, now my retinas are seared. who’s gonna pay for my eye surgery?? YOU?! :-p

  2. complicateur

    October 23, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    Shiny Nipples and Shiny Crotch are now my 2 favorite Mallu christian p0rn names!! Hilarious.

  3. M

    October 23, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    Hilarious! But to be fair, Madhur seems to have taken the clothes straight from real life – have you *seen* the output at the recent Lakme Fashion week ?? And both Kangana and Priyanka seem to have the usual model’s “I-am-about-to-die-of-TB” look down pat! ;-D


  4. DewdropDream

    October 23, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    HAHAHAHHAA!!! And your captions leave me speechless with laughter yet again!!! ‘Ooh la la HURR HURRR’???!!! Good lord!!! hahahahaha!!!!

    But pray, where on earth are the male models??? That orange outfit guy with curlers and Miss Egg Whisk would totally fit in here. Wonder why they were not invited to the party…

    Madhur Bhandarkar’s movies have been good though… hope the overall goodness makes up for these visual monstrosities.

  5. Pitu

    October 23, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    @M: “I-am-about-to-die-of-TB” look


  6. prasun

    October 23, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    So, like someone above pointed out, isn’t this being “realistic”?
    I mean, all fashion shows that I’ve seen on TV have horrendous clothes and women with ugly makeup.

  7. sachita

    October 23, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    i am pretty sure madhur will have again the drivers of models discussing,” model log hey na….”,” in log ke duniye mein aisi hi hota hain..” bhoom… movie over, madhur will walk away with national award again for applying his formula story to modeling world.

    yeah to my fashion-unknown eyes, that looks as wierd as any fashion show.

  8. Suki

    October 24, 2008 at 12:05 am

    Oooh brilliant captions!
    Have you noticed how nicely he’s managed to spoil perfectly decent outfits with ONE article that’s totally out of place? And how he’s showed unrivalled expertise at making living people look dead? 😀

  9. apu

    October 24, 2008 at 12:48 am

    as other commenters have pointed out, real-life fashion shows have plenty of weirder stuff. still, they don’t have the accompanying captions, so amrita rules 🙂

  10. terri

    October 24, 2008 at 1:11 am

    Why doesn’t Kangana stuff tissue paper in her tops? She’s flatter than a pancake. Hasn’t she saved enough money to go under the knife?

  11. memsaab

    October 24, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    ahahahahahahhhhhaaaaa @ Parveen Babi Garage Sale (and all the others too)…

    Seriously, these DO look like the clothes Fashion Weeks everywhere like to pass off as “couture”…

    Kangana doesn’t even look like herself anymore, she’s had so much plastic surgery! And what is she, twelve? *sigh*

  12. Kanan

    October 24, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    aww it’s too much entertainment.

    lol @ garage sale and bride.

    PC does remind me of PB though once in a while.

  13. Amey

    October 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    New career idea for you: commentator on fashion show. I do get something for suggesting this, don’t I? (Hint: let’s start with free admission and backstage passes) 😉

  14. prasun

    October 25, 2008 at 1:48 am

  15. Amrita

    October 26, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    All of you talking about real fashion shows is giving me ideas about another post. I don’t know, all these costumes look like someone ran them up on their mummy’s sewing machine. No “finish” whatsoever. Just entertainment value 😀

    Complicateur – AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh crap, I actually know this chick called Shiney too. Now I’ll never be able to look at her the same again.

    DDD – if we go by past Bhadarkar movies, they’re probably out having lots of gay sex so they can get ahead!

    Suki – huh, you’re right. I think it’s all innately fug but yes, one item less and they might all have been salvageable. Nice eye!

    Terri – tissue paper? :mrgreen: Pardon, your age is showing.

    Amey – how come all these new career ideas you come up with for me all include me being in a position to help you score chicks? Hmmmmm? 😛

  16. Amey

    October 26, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    Well, you know what they say. There is no free advice in life 😉 I should get something out of all these awesome ideas, don’t you think?

  17. Pitu

    October 26, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Actually, advice is often free. Lunches aren’t 😀

  18. DewdropDream

    October 26, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    So how does this work? Amey and Amrita go out for lunch and Amrita pays for lunch because Amey gives her advice? 😀 😛

    Amey, it’s not a case of ‘Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway’, is it??? 😀

  19. Amrita

    October 27, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    DDD – I don’t know who does what when, but eventually Amrita does all the work and Amey gets a date :mrgreen:

  20. Amey

    October 27, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    Hey, Amrita does all the work, but Amey is her consultant so he needs to get some compensation, right?

    @DDD: Know any fashion designers who will let me use my own advice?

    @Pitu: Advice over (or about) lunch is definitely isn’t 😀

  21. DewdropDream

    October 28, 2008 at 10:42 am

    Hehe, he’s after me now to join the ‘Get Amey a date’ campaign.

    Amey, let’s skip the indirect route and just ask me if I have any single friends, shall we??? 😀

  22. Amey

    October 29, 2008 at 8:49 am

    @DDD: “Campaign” sounds such a big thing, as if a lot of effort from a lot of people is needed…

    And, what is the answer to your question?

    @Amrita: Planning to watch the movie?

  23. DewdropDream

    October 29, 2008 at 11:36 am

    I might… but I’m going to charge you a consultation fee 😉

  24. Beth

    October 30, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    Tim Gunn is weeping; meanwhile, my coffee comes out my nose as I giggle away.

  25. Amrita

    October 30, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Amey & DDD – Amey ka Kuch Karo!

    re: movie – Maybe on Youtube? I’m gonna wait on the reviews. I’m a bit swamped this week and next and I really don’t feel up to it. Besides, I get the feeling that if you’ve seen one MB movie, you’ve seen them all.

    Beth – Tim gunn had a coronary you mean 🙂

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