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This is Too Easy

09 Sep
Mr. and Mrs. Tulli-to-be

Mr. and Mrs. Tulli-to-be

In the ordinary run of things, Yukta Mookhey, she who terrorized romanced the fresh-cheeked Aftab Shivdasani in that movie nobody ever saw, would never get on this blog because I’m a terrible person who has no appreciation of the finer people in life. But the future Mrs. Prince Tulli is a different story.

That’s right, Yukta Mookhey is getting married to Prince Tulli of the Nagpur gharana of Tullis, thus waltzing her way into my heart for ever more. What is that you say? You’ve never heard of the Tullis or their Prince?! Phikar not! Let the Times of India enlighten you:

“Which Miss World can boast that she has found her Prince Charming,” asked the beautiful Yuktaa as she held on to the arm of the handsome and suave Prince Tulli. He replied, “I have the best of both worlds, I have Miss World.”

Nitpickers might say that that conversation makes no sense, but that is because they’re bitter sourpusses who’ve never felt the sweet wonder of magical love, lovely love.

“He took me to Ganeshpuri, went down on his knees, read out a poem and asked me to marry him,” said Yuktaa, showing off the sparkling rock on her ring finger. The two met at a party in Nagpur two months ago where she had gone to promote her film Memsaheb. “I used the funniest pick-up line ever, I said, “If you are planning to make a film, then you can cast me as your boyfriend,’” said Prince.

Oh my God, he’s right! That is the funniest pick up line ever! Ha ha ha ha! Because you see, he said “Cast me as your boyfriend!” and then she did! Except it wasn’t a casting, it was… erm. Gosh! Talking to him must be like living in a Preston Sturges film. All that and they’ll always have Ganeshpuri! Some girls have all the luck.

…Prince, who was born in Nagpur, studied in the US, has seen all of Yuktaa’s films, but missed seeing the beauty pageant where she was crowned Miss World. “I love her work,” said Prince who considers himself a very lucky man.

But Yuktaa’s preferences have now changed. “I will do a film only if there’s a subject that requires me to convey a global message. I want to learn more about hotels so that I can help him in his business,” she said.

Hmm, a global message about hotels maybe? Like CNN’s advertisements? That’s a film, too. A (very) short film, true, but hey, how much more global can you get?

But reading this got me thinking: a power couple such as the Tullis-to-be, need a name that reflects their status. If Saif and Kareena (who?) or Abhishek and Aishwarya (pshaw!) can get them, then Yukta and Prince not only need one, they deserve one! Let’s see. What shall it be?

Yukta Mookhey + Prince Tulli = YukTulli? Nope, sounds too much like “yuck thhoo” for comfort. TulliKhey sounds like a Punjabi cuss word. PrinceMoo is just plain insulting as is the double entendre-ish Prikta. TulliOok sounds like a species from a fantasy novel set in an alternate England. TaMPrinT might have worked but one of them needs to be Tamilian for it to really get off the ground. Prince YuM is nice but it ought to be Princess Yum, surely?

Sigh. I suppose a couple whose names rearrange themselves into the phrase “A Hermetic Kinky Pullout Yo” are destined to be rather hard up for an acceptable brand name. After much thought, I feel the only name that truly suits those wide smiles is Mookhulli. See:

The YukTulli Revolution Begins Here

The Mookhulli Revolution Begins Here

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42 Comments

Posted by on September 9, 2008 in Celebrity, Entertainment, News, Video

 

42 responses to “This is Too Easy

  1. Pitu

    September 9, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAA!!! Mookhulli is awesome. Now all my cousins in Nagpur are going to bawl at Yukta Mata being their Memsaaheb :-p

     
  2. Pitu

    September 9, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Oh wait, she’ll be moving to NYC, no?? So now she’s YOUR Memsaaheb hahaha!

     
  3. DewdropDream

    September 9, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! How do you even come up with this stuff??!!! Mookhulli???!!! HAHA!!! And his name is actually Prince??!! eeep!!!

    On second thoughts… they could actually be meshed into ‘Mooli’ 😀 hehe!!!

     
  4. Rahul Sharma

    September 9, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Ouchhhhhhhhhhhh….. That MUST hurt….

    But you, as usual, are at your BEST… Good One!

    Ra.

    P.S. “TulliKhey” takes The Cake…

     
  5. memsaab

    September 9, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    I of course like Prikta the best 🙂

     
  6. Kanan

    September 9, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    HEHAHAHAHA @ Mookhulli and yuck thhoo

    Is it me or that dude looks like Ranbir Kapoor?

    With that last name, is he related to apna Rajendra Kumar by any chance?

     
  7. rads

    September 9, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    LOL. YukThooo 😀

    You’re one wicked girl 🙂

     
  8. M

    September 9, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    LOLOLOL….man, this is GOLD! I likeYuckthoo the best though…and is the guy’s name Prince or is he actual royalty? (Didn’t know Nagpur had any 🙂 )

    M

     
  9. Pitu

    September 9, 2008 at 11:01 pm

    M, Nagpur does have a royal house- it’s the Bhosles. This guy isn’t one of them.

     
  10. apu

    September 9, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    What! His name is really Prince? And I can’t believe you passed up the opportunity to make some ‘Tulli’ jokes…But Mookhuli is delicious 🙂

     
  11. Ramsu

    September 10, 2008 at 12:49 am

    Of all the bad actresses who win beauty pageants in all the world, he picks her. Ah, well…

    ~r

     
  12. narendra shenoy

    September 10, 2008 at 4:11 am

    Don’t be so mean. They’re probably the thinker types, happiest when curled up with their Sartre or Kierkegaard, though there are two dogs in my building named Prince. And when you factor in the circumstance that the letters in “Yukta Mookhey” can be rearranged to form the words “Kooky tum, yeah!” and thosse in “Prince Tulli” to form the words “Line Culprit”, you know that this is the foundation of a great relationship.

     
  13. dipali

    September 10, 2008 at 4:51 am

    Toooo much, Amrita! I’m still chuckling:)

     
  14. Mudra

    September 10, 2008 at 8:56 am

    Good stuff… Your blog’s a lot of fun! 🙂

     
  15. Amey

    September 10, 2008 at 9:41 am

    By the law of popular bi-names, they should be called Prikta, and if anybody doesn’t like that, uski tullikhey (Sorry, no cursing)

    BTW, his name is really “Prince”? (bow-)wow…

     
  16. Ramsu

    September 10, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Okay, I just spent a couple of hours in a serious meeting trying to visualize a “A Hermetic Kinky Pullout Yo” while trying to keep a straight face. Torture, I tell you.

     
  17. pitu

    September 10, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    I had 2 Bong gals in my neighborhood whose atrocious nicknames were Quincey and Princey. Ewww!

     
  18. Nikhil Narayanan

    September 10, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Hey!
    Hilarious stuff.

    Tulli ho Yukta!!

    Best,
    Nikhil

     
  19. Amrita

    September 10, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    Pitu – curses! 😀

    DDD – that would be even better in keeping with the grand tradition here at IQ where I’ve dubbed Saif and kareena Kareli.

    Rahul – Is it too mean? 😳 “Journalism” of that kind just brings it out in me.

    Memsaab – LOL, I won’t object.

    Rads – in this case, they did most of my work for me!

    M – kahe ka Prince? Hoga apne ghar mein! 😀

    Kanan – arre, bechara Ranbir! I thought the same thing! But no, I think this dude came by it on his own. Oh, and Rajendra Kumar’s dukhi atma is right now at the lawyer’s office, sending you a stern warning! 😀

    Apu – I figured there was no need to push it, given the stellar work ToI has already done.

    Ramsu – I kinda haven’t stopped giggling since I saw that anagram 😀

    Dipali – come back any time! Shop of Mean is always open!

    NS – I’m ashamed 😦 And envious of their high falutin’ arugula ways

    Mudra – thanks 🙂

    Amey – you know, it’s probably one of those names that made a lot of sense to them when they were naming their kid and then that kid went to school and got the shit kicked out of him, the end. The best is when I was googling for pics, and something popped up identifyig him as “Prince Tuli of India” like it was an actual title, LOL!

    Pitu – it must be something in the commie air because if you go to Kerala you’ll find hordes of children named Jincey, Quincy, Mincy, Lincey, and so on. The one that took the cake was a cousin of my best friend’s who named their kid Dedsey coz they ran out of rhymes.

    Nikhil – Thanks. And she must have already been tulli when she gave that interview! 🙂

     
  20. Pitu

    September 10, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    DEDSEY! hahahahahaaaaa!!!! And to think all my family came up with was boring ole Pitu 😉 And commie air? Wait till me Bong best friend finds out, teri dhulai hone wali hai LOL!

     
  21. Gagan

    September 10, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    ahh yes page 3 land where sarcasm rules and irony is sometimes completely absent…

    Anglais a secound language that why???? kya yaar, why don’t they get it?? i know, i know guess cos my parents would love it too!!! where to hide your head in shame..” cast me as your leading man.” ..the grand kids will be forced to hear the story,,,,but it should die off by then…with any luck, let us pray inter- denominationally for the mookhuli grand sires.

    funny, funny stuff ya 🙂

     
  22. Sheba Kunhimohammed

    September 11, 2008 at 3:02 am

    “I love her work,” said Prince
    Uhh, what work is prince charming talking about? Should I regret not watching her performance in films like Memsahab and that film with Aftab?

     
  23. A Cynic in Wonderland

    September 11, 2008 at 3:07 am

    oh i love the names. mukhulli rocked.

     
  24. Gopi

    September 11, 2008 at 3:59 am

    I had named a pretty out of senses news reader in a skit Subodh Tulli. I never knew Tulli was (or could be) a real surname. EVER!

     
  25. rahul

    September 11, 2008 at 8:39 am

    u missed the funniest part ,the “price” was quoted as saying that he has seen all her movies and he liked her acting ,now i am bollywood movie buff and have seen movies like gunda too but i have never seen a promo of “princess” movuies except with one aftab when i was in my engg,

     
  26. M

    September 11, 2008 at 10:18 am

    I just checked out the engagement party pics you linked, and oh my! There is more than one post-ful of material there! And was turquoise blue the color of the evening?

    M

     
  27. the mad momma

    September 11, 2008 at 10:40 am

    yeah because if you didnt call him Prince, how would people know?!

     
  28. desigirl

    September 12, 2008 at 6:52 am

    lemme get the bun out and i shall come and worship at ams’ altar of greatness! u so crack me up babes!

     
  29. Babita

    September 12, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    You guys are so funny! Great job Amrita. “A Hermetic Kinky Pullout Yo” makes me LOL everytime i think of it.

    Wow, Two months, really!! Doesn’t seem like they’ve thought this through.

    I can’t figure out one thing, Times of India said his family owns hotels, etc. etc. but his family is nowhere to be seen in any pics I’ve seen on TOI and couple of other sites. What family?? Only her side of the family seems to be there?

    And what horrible taste to be bowled over by a guy who says “If you are planning to make a film, then you can cast me as your boyfriend”. I would’ve never looked at him again.

    Honestly, who goes down on his knee and proposes in Ganeshpuri, certainly not a real prince! Might as well have done it at McDonalds.

    What does he mean by “I have the best of both worlds, I have Miss World.” What both worlds?? I hope he was drunk when he gave the interview, ’cause if that’s what he sounds like when he’ sober. God help them!

     
  30. Amrita

    September 12, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Pitu – Lekin main to sirf messenger hoon! I didnt tell ’em to name their kids that 😀

    Gagan – it made me sad to think that there is no Onion equivalent in India because this story was just MADE for it! Or rather, the person who wrote this would have got a job double quick.

    Sheba – Prince says you have no taste in movies 😀

    Cynic – :mrgreen:

    M – i can’t! I simply can’t! Bachao!

    Gopi – aint the interweb wunnerful?!

    Rahul – ahahahaha @ watching Gunda! Yukta wishes she was in Gunda!

    TMM – well, she could always buy him an elephant!

    DG – are you going to call that poor baby The Bun? LOL, if you are! From the sounds of it, you need cracking up! Stop with the doom and gloom!

    Babita – what I want to know is where these phantom hotels are! Ganeshpuri probably! 😀 And yes, the crowd here at IQ is pretty funny.

     
  31. Shailen

    September 13, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    cool post..
    came through desi pundit..

     
  32. Babita

    September 14, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Oh, I don’t think they’re phantom, I’m sure there’s at least one in Nagpur called Tulli Da Dhaba.

     
  33. Amrita

    September 14, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    Shailen – welcome 🙂

    Babita – HAHAHA!! That I’d like to see!

     
  34. Gagan

    September 14, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    there should be one amrita…rule of niche marketing…market that big even a fraction will be massive…what shall we call it the gundah.. or piaz or ulli your idea .. your pick.. 🙂

     
  35. Babita

    September 16, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Me too! 😀

     
  36. Arunraj Dhariwal

    September 17, 2008 at 8:38 am

    u guyz so easily make fun of ne1 juzt like tat, juzt look upon urself, u guyz are not even naam ka Prince & he belongz to a one of the top business Conglomerates on Nagpur. so better look at urself WHERE u are, and Prince is a Self made MAN, they guyz are lucky both are self made, wht bout u fookatiyas…?

     
  37. Amrita

    September 18, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Gagan – the Gundah with an H please 😀

    Arunraj – Dude, whatever your opinion of people here, must you link to an attack site? Or is that your site? In which case, you’re welcome to say what you want, just kindly don’t link again. Thanks.

     
  38. Babita

    September 23, 2008 at 9:20 am

    Arunraj – If we all had daddy’s millions lending a hand we could all be self made too. Daddy dearest probably paid for his education and got him sent to the states with his money. That’s not the definition of a self made man in my book. I’m sure you think Karan Johar and Aditya Chopra are self made men too. You need to get a sense of humour! It’s all in good fun. Please don’t burn down any cinemas, trains or buses.

     
  39. Saaki

    September 24, 2008 at 3:39 am

    Hahahahaha….LOL.hahaha

    if there was a status message while u comment ..it would have said….fallen off the chair laughing.

    where do in come up with such teasers…….Mookhulli……LOlz…
    i think the one Dewdrop suggested is good too..Mooli…hahahahaha

    and what lame loser lines….” cast me as ur boyfriend”….bah….

    and wats with girls opting for Rich Heirs… nothing seems to end up with a poor guy.

     
  40. archana

    October 11, 2008 at 6:16 am

    He seems to be a sweet dumbo. younger than her, shades of amrita singh and zarina wahab and i wonder how he actually knows of her!!!!!!!!!! as much as he knows of her movies. good luck to them. he really needs it.

     
  41. Rab at Morocco?

    May 22, 2009 at 4:31 am

    If I didn’t know for a fact that incredulous coincidences are a staple of real life, I’d have fallen off my chair upon reading a reference to that classic Casablanca (cue comment #11) — in a post about the most cough-inducing (sorry, I meant laugh-inducing, but Mookhey and Tulli put together sound so much like “Mookushali” so… yeah, go ahead, add it to that list of yours at the cost of leaving your non-Tamil readers high and dry) of cosmic couplings — exactly a month after one such reference slapped us senseless, courtesy a class-act write-up of the crass-act Singh is Kinng.

    God knows I need to make time to go traipsing thru your archive every once in a while, at least, to pull out a gag-me-gladly like this one, which I’d have missed for good, but for (a coincidence like) that trackback showing up under Recent Comments yesterday. 😀

    While it’s reassuring to see I’m not all alone in anagram (Agra Man?) heaven — that kinky-binky was Magnificent, btw — I was rightfully reminded of this rant I’ve been suppressing since the got-pushpins-will-perforate-film’s-pericardium imbeciles (yes, those censor peepul plaguing the TV world here, there, everywhere) mercilessly snuffed out a movie memory of mine, last week. So here goes (since you seem like the active-listening kind as far as censor censure goes):

    Ever watched that Rolling Stone-article-turned-movie Perfect starring John Travolta as reporter and (a really cute and quite hot) Jamie Lee Curtis as aerobics instructor? I did, on DD, during its much more permissive late-night phase during the mid-80s (yes, such a time did exist, although DD, ABC, NBC…all of them, are in currently in cahoots to convince us otherwise). And the self-respecting adolescent in me simply refuses to take lightly the stripping-away of my first memory of a bared boob on the boob tube by some bozos who ought to know better! So what did I do in vengeful retribution? Here’s what:

    There’s this quiz show on ABC that I’m crazy about; just the other day, it had a category that read “Catch These Men” which I promptly rearranged to read “Catch The Semen” and then went: “How sweetly slanderous! Oh to think you actually put that up for display, in title casing, on public television, you hypocritical dimwits!”

    Yeah, one definitely feels better after such slighting-the-invisible-enemy self-talks. (Better still was when you counterpointed — that same day — with the Bill Maher joke about the “coming” of a knight-on-white-shining-horse, cue No Camera Ki Kabaddi Here…and — if classicists won’t kill me, my conscience will — the tangent it provided to The Second Coming — seriously, can’t someone reinterpret Yeats without being hauled over to hell’s gates? Cruel world!). 🙂

     
 
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