Daily Archives: August 2, 2008

A Very Excellent Idea

Or not.

This election cycle in the United States, the action has moved where it’s all at: Hollywood. Republicans, who keep electing celebrities, know celebrities are the most contemptible fad to hit America and are hitting back at pretty boys like Barack Obama through ads like the above.

Of course, calling Obama a brainless celeb comes with its own pitfalls – there’s the racial stereotype thing, the Hilton a.k.a. big McCain campaign contributors thing, the Britney thing, the gender thing, the totally not true thing, his mother is all “Meh!“, and of course the Agent Smith question (except for the part where they’re right and, to be fair, they have got the skinny thing covered) – so what’s a right winger to do?

Well, you could try calling The Dark Knight an allegory praising the courageous deeds of George W. Bush and its summertime bonanza a subconscious mandate for the President but then everyone will point and laugh at you. Plus, what does that make Dick Cheney? Two Face? Hmmm…

Maybe they’d do better with a movie of their own? Well, let’s see… what if we put McCain supporter and estranged Angelina Jolie-daddy Jon Voight, down on his luck Kelsey Grammer, and the most famous non-Republican of them all, Bill O’Reilly with that Obama doppelganger Paris Hilton and made it all into a movie directed by the guy who made Airplane and Naked Gun? Why, then we’d have American Carol: Surely David Zucker Has Lost His Mind. (Caption subject to change.) Based on Michael Moore, it is only four or six years out of date but then Zucker is merely a self-described “9/11 Republican” so presumably he’s just catching up with hate figures on the Right.

Personally, I wouldn’t miss this movie for the world. If this write up is anything to go by, this movie is going to be absolutely riveting:

Along with many Muslim terrorists named Mohammed, even severely handicapped children are subject to the film’s screwball comedy…The movie saves its most severe scorn for the main character, a slovenly documentary filmmaker based on Oscar winner Michael Moore. The attack is literally scorched-earth style: In a climactic scene, Moore’s stand-in (here named “Michael Malone”) finds political clarity at the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center while the admonishing ghost of George Washington (played by Voight) hovers nearby…Using Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” as a loose framework, Scrooge’s holiday humbuggery is replaced with Malone’s anti-American bias. Not only does the character attempt a boycott of the Fourth of July, but he also lends unwitting aid to jihadists plotting to blow up Madison Square Garden. Through the imagined interventions of Patton, the dead presidents and country singer Trace Adkins, Moore’s surrogate travels through history, eventually coming around to embrace patriotic values.

What’s not to love? The other movie that I’m dying to watch, of course, is Oliver Stone’s next salvo from the Left masterpiece: W.

Yup, it sure is a wonderful world.

Update: Paris Hilton has a few words for John McCain. I just want the McCain campaign to know that it’s one thing to win the Presidency but if you end up making me root for Paris Hilton, there will be words said. That is all.


Posted by on August 2, 2008 in Movies, Politics