Old suit to magazine stand man: You know, they were going to transfer me to India but they had only one condition.
Stand man: Oh, what was that?
Old suit: I needed a cobra.
I don’t know if it’s the same stand but there’s this desi guy who owns a stand on Union Square West who really, really hates his customers. Like, I’ve seen him yell and chase bewildered (possibly stoned) NYU kids away when they try to buy cigarettes from him. And I always wondered what the hell was wrong with him. Not that he ever said anything to me – other than look suspicious when I asked for quarters and scornful at my choice of reading material – but you had to wonder what the hate was all about. Even when he had some of his homies over, he’d laugh angrily and shake his head at them, while muttering under his breath at some hastily departing customer.
Well, Overheard in New York might just have given me the answer. I’d be pretty violent too if the above was a sample of my daily conversation. Don’t try to bond with the desi stand guys, Men in Suits, even if “Steve” is Bangalore thinks you’re hilarious.
The internet: solving mysteries every day.
PS – Meet my new hero:
Met guard: Don’t touch that [Points to ancient Greek statue.]
Little girl: Not even a little?
Met guard: Not even a little.
Little girl: Not even a little little?
Met guard: Vera, stop.
Little girl: Ok. No touching. Got it. [Sticks out her tongue and gives the marble a long, slow, slobbering lick.]