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That Explains It

16 Jun

Old suit to magazine stand man: You know, they were going to transfer me to India but they had only one condition.
Stand man: Oh, what was that?
Old suit: I needed a cobra.

I don’t know if it’s the same stand but there’s this desi guy who owns a stand on Union Square West who really, really hates his customers. Like, I’ve seen him yell and chase bewildered (possibly stoned) NYU kids away when they try to buy cigarettes from him. And I always wondered what the hell was wrong with him. Not that he ever said anything to me – other than look suspicious when I asked for quarters and scornful at my choice of reading material – but you had to wonder what the hate was all about. Even when he had some of his homies over, he’d laugh angrily and shake his head at them, while muttering under his breath at some hastily departing customer.

Well, Overheard in New York might just have given me the answer. I’d be pretty violent too if the above was a sample of my daily conversation. Don’t try to bond with the desi stand guys, Men in Suits, even if “Steve” is Bangalore thinks you’re hilarious.

The internet: solving mysteries every day.

PS – Meet my new hero:

Met guard: Don’t touch that [Points to ancient Greek statue.]
Little girl: Not even a little?
Met guard: Not even a little.
[Pause.]
Little girl
: Not even a little little?

Met guard: Vera, stop.
Little girl: Ok. No touching. Got it. [Sticks out her tongue and gives the marble a long, slow, slobbering lick.]

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11 Comments

Posted by on June 16, 2008 in Life

 

11 responses to “That Explains It

  1. rads

    June 16, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    LOL! 😀

    Youve been tagged 🙂

     
  2. desiGirl

    June 17, 2008 at 6:34 am

    aww look at that ill-tempered li’l mutt!!! aint he a doll?? or is he a cat? whatevs!

     
  3. Amey

    June 17, 2008 at 9:04 am

    Man, do I live in a tranquil (read, politically correct) place or what. We don’t get to hear such things in public down here.

     
  4. Amrita

    June 19, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    Rads – that’s not a tag, thats a hazing ritual 😀 K, will do.

    DG – it’s a little kitty. And you wouldnt be too happy either if someone threw water all over you.

    Amey – lolz, lucky you.

     
  5. Amey

    June 19, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    Lucky? You might say that, but sometimes you crave a bit of “interesting” overhears.

     
  6. Gagan

    June 22, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    love this post. So anarchic, so New York. Think I like the unfriendly anonymous desis more than the really, really friendly ones. No games and no expectations. 🙂

     
  7. Amrita

    June 24, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    Amey – you ought to be careful what you wish for 😀 I once had to sit next to a homeless drunk Jamaican who wanted to hug me coz I was “so sweet” and wanted to talk about the downfall of civilizations. Not a pleasant memory although I’m sure the entire subway car had a jolly good time of it.
    However, I know what you mean.

    Gagan – not to mention the fact that they leave you alone. Big props for leaving me alone.

     
  8. Amey

    June 25, 2008 at 9:26 am

    Have you noticed how alcohol brings out philosophers in us all? Which is why I enjoy parties despite the fact that I don’t drink 😉

    However, I know what you mean 😉 Some of the “quotes” on that site are way beyond weird.

     
  9. AfterMATH

    June 25, 2008 at 11:37 am

    “…homeless drunk Jamaican who wanted to hug me coz I was “so sweet” and wanted to talk about the downfall of civilizations.” – Amrita

    Out of all the topics? 😉

    Eh, I’m yet to catch one of those here in L.A. Maybe it’s cause of the fact that I rarely go out. Yea, I’ll go with the latter.

     
  10. To believe or not to believe

    June 12, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    “The internet: solving mysteries every day.” Tell me about it! 😀 But then, along comes the devious Mr. Martian-Know-It-All to rain on my parade. 😦

    Guess it’s why God gave us umbrellas…

    P.S: And hey, NYU, subway, black stranger professing love…are you my “other” sister by any chance (a la Coraline)? Bah these eerie coincidences!

     
  11. pitu

    June 13, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    What is with desi women having funny experiences with black strangers in subways?! I had a creepy one in Atlanta- this black guy was quiet the entire time till I got up to leave at Lindbergh and he suddenly says “Don’t ever cut your hair, it’s really pretty”. I ESCAPED! It was sooo creepy! The entire taxi ride I was nervously fiddling with my hastily made ‘judaa’.

     
 
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