Grandma in the Wind

12 May

Ma (hushed voice): Auntie P just called. Her mother fell and broke her arm.

Me: Oh no! That’s awful. Poor little Grandma. Did she slip in the bathroom or something?

Ma: Well, Auntie says she and Grandma were standing by the balcony door and talking when a sudden gust of wind swept her out and dumped her on the floor.

Me (short pause): Ha ha ha ha hee hee hee hoo hoo!

Ma: Shut up. Idiot child.

I know. I’m headed for hell, right? Well, I was going there anyway. Might as well take the scenic route. Look, even I know that it’s not nice to laugh at tiny little old ladies who break their brittle bones. But if you knew my mom and Auntie P and could imagine them discussing this over the phone or even Auntie P’s reaction to seeing her mother get blown off her feet…!

I mean, when was the last time you actually heard of someone getting not just knocked down but swept out of the apartment by a random gust of wind? Come on! Who does that?

The problem with my family is that first they gave me a warped sense of humor and then they keep outdoing each other in trying to tickle it. And my straight face sucks. I’ve pretty much given up on visiting people at the hospital, for example, coz when someone from my family checks into the hospital, it’s a sure bet that they’re gonna do something hilarious like beg the doctor not to lance the enormous boil on their leg coz they were convinced they were going to die if it burst.

But, as I asked Ma, would it matter if I laughed at the unfortunate antics of people on the inside when God would know anyway? Coz it’s not like I went to the hospital and laughed and pointed at poor old Grandma on her bed. I like Grandma. She’s little and sweet and used to feed me all kinds of things that were very tasty and bad for me when I was a kid. You think I want to laugh at her?

Sigh. It’s not fair. Why can’t the wind sweep people I don’t like out the door? It would make life so much simpler.


Posted by on May 12, 2008 in Life


6 responses to “Grandma in the Wind

  1. Moo

    May 13, 2008 at 2:46 am

    Ok turns out, I’d say you’re normal. Because I’d laugh too. For instance, I laughed till I almost burst a lung, when an old woman I know tripped over a random mobile phone on the road, and fractured her leg. 😀

    I mean, first a stray cellphone on the road. Then you trip over it and fall. AND THEN, you get a fracture. 😀 Funny! 😀

  2. DesiGirl

    May 13, 2008 at 8:04 am

    Well, if you are a klutz like me, things like this happen to YOU and random idiots generally stand around laughing. So dont worry, you aren’t the only one.

    Let us make a list of all the people we’d want to be swept off their feet – by random gusts of wind.

  3. Gaurav

    May 13, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Ha ha ha….. reminded me of all those old people in my village, who used to walk only in direction of wind! 🙂

  4. OrangeJammies

    May 13, 2008 at 11:57 am

    My mother! My mother was swept out of her neighbor’s apartment by a gust of wind when she was 6! It’s her very own Mary Poppins story.
    I once guffawed at a person sobbing over a long-distance phone call about her dead mother-in-law looking less than perfect at the funeral. I’ll see you in hell, girl.

  5. Amey

    May 13, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    Blown by wind? I mean, I have known some heavy winds (in Sahyadri mostly), but this is something straight out of cartoons…

  6. Amrita

    May 15, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    Oh well, as long as I’m the company of such degenerates as you lot! 😀

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