RSS

$$$ For Lazybones

11 May

Do you wish you could just lie in bed all day without your mom / alarm clock / spouse / kids yelling at you to get your fat ass out and about? If yes, answer me this: do you believe things like laziness, lack of skills, poor educational qualifications, etc are holding you back from applying for a position at NASA? You know, those space program people?

Well, guess what? NASA wants you! Their treat. They have a bed set up for you in Houston and everything. In fact, they’ll even pay you for it – $17, 000 if you’ll hang with them for 90 days.

And no, there’s nothing truly nasty involved. They won’t strap you into an unmanned space shuttle and put you into orbit or anything. Although, I think that would be more awesome than nasty – unless it blows up, in which case, oooh.

No, all you have to do is lie in bed. Like, all the time. You can watch all the TV you want and they’ll give you a computer with internet access and wheel you out to play cards with the other bed testers – but you can’t get out of bed. They’ll monitor you to make sure. I don’t know about bathroom breaks but they will feed you regular food.

To qualify, you have to be drug and disease free, not be a criminal, be a US citizen or permanent resident and have something to live for (which would take about three months to accomplish). Oh, and you have to have good bone density because… er, lying in bed kind of destroys your bones.

Heh heh. Oops. No pain, no gain, right? Oh, don’t be such a big baby – it’s only 6% or less. It’s not like your bones have a better offer.

Advertisements
 
4 Comments

Posted by on May 11, 2008 in Life

 

4 responses to “$$$ For Lazybones

  1. DesiGirl

    May 12, 2008 at 6:32 am

    for real? where do i sign up? oh shoot! i dont qualify, do i? dang!

     
  2. Amey

    May 12, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    I still vote for Nokku Kooli Consultants…

     
  3. Amrita

    May 12, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    DG – esp with that little bun in your oven, you unnatural woman! actually that had me thinking – all those times they prescribe bedrest for expectant mothers: what happens to them?

    Amey – i’m on board!

     
  4. DesiGirl

    May 13, 2008 at 8:02 am

    That’s what I was thinking too – weird! Possibly the bed-rested women wud be allowed a wander every now and then. How the hell do they wee? And boy do we need to!!

     
 
%d bloggers like this: