Well, hello there! How would you like to hear a heartwarming story this Friday? It’s about a father and daughter, separated for many years, who find each other again to reconnect on a fundamental level only to be cruelly separated by the cold, harsh hands of the Law.
Meet John Earnest Deaves of Australia. 30 years ago, he separated from his wife and left behind an infant daughter, Jennifer Anne. Then, circumstances intervened, the way they do for some fathers, and he didn’t see his daughter for a long, long time until she was all grown up and had an ex and two children of her own. So John did what any man desirous of reconnecting with his grown up daughter in an “intellectual” relationship would do – he got into bed with her.
No, not to keep the bogeyman away, silly. To have sex. Lots of it. And procreate. As in “have children”.
That’s right. The picture below is that of Deaves, 61, and Deaves, 39, and their daughter / granddaughter Celeste Deaves, nine months. Celeste’s older sibling, born in 2001, sent regrets at being unable to attend the photo session due to death by congenital heart disease.
Now you might be wondering how the world came to hear about this, um, couple. Let me tell you: last month an Australian court forbid the two from having sex with each other. Apparently courts can do that when the people having sex are directly related to each other. So the Deaves, feeling the time had come for them to display some more of their stellar decision making skills on a larger scale, decided – wait for it – to go on national television with their sad story of star crossed love.
Here’re a few things they had to say:
About why they jumped into bed with each other, two weeks after they met as adults:
Ms Deaves told 60 Minutes she began to see John as a man first and a father second. “I was looking at him, sort of going, oh, he’s not too bad. Like you might look at a man across the bar at a nightclub,” she said.
Mr Deaves admitted that he “initially” thought having sex with his daughter was wrong. “Emotions take over, as people no doubt realise. There are times during your life where emotions do rule the heart, it rules the head,” he said. “I knew it was illegal. Of course, I knew it was illegal but you know, so what.”
About their sex life:
Mrs Deaves said the physical relationship with her father was like “a sexual relationship with any other man”.
For Mr Deaves the sexual relationship was “absolutely fantastic”.
About their TV appearance:
“John and I are in this relationship as consenting adults,” Mrs Deaves told the Nine Network’s 60 Minutes tonight. “We are just asking for a little bit of respect and understanding.”
Yup, turning a nine month old into the poster child for incest is absolutely the best way to get some respect and understanding.
Finally, the judge who told them this was not possible had this to say:
“The offence of incest exists not merely to protect children from sexual abuse,” Judge Millsteed said. “In my view, other relevant factors include the need to prevent the high risk of congenital defects in children born of incestuous relationships and to prevent children suffering psychological harm and social stigmatisation.”
Word. Two more words for all those looking to keep it all in the family: Birth + Control. Also? Don’t go on TV. Because? Not a good idea.
Enjoy your weekend. And the shower. You probably needed it anyway.