Aspi and the Drifters have already dubbed him Harman “Gareebon ka Hrithik” Baweja but is there more to Priyanka Chopra’s boyfriend than a passing resemblance to her Krissh in looks and pedigree? Welcome to Promo Watch, the blog post that ought to have been a podcast if yours truly wasn’t so lazy – just imagine it being read out in one those deep baritones one hears on fairgrounds and in promos everywhere.
So, Love Story 2050. And… oh dear. “Love Story”? Might as well have called it Kiss of Death or Fond Farewell to My Young Career. Just look at all the other Love Story disasters out there:
- The 1970 adaptation of Erich Segal’s book is the most famous of them all and was a big success – especially for star Ryan O’Neal. You remember him? Yeah, exactly. But hey, he got to date Farah Fawcett and Diana Ross.
- Manisha Koirala had two of them – one of them tanked in spite of it being RD Burman’s dying effort, and the other became some kind of a porn flick though thankfully with someone else’s body. Bullet -> dodged.
- Then of there was the Kumar Guarav debut – I understand it was quite something when it came out. Except for two words: Kumar Gaurav.
But hey, this is Love Story 2050! It’s a whole another century and a completely different hunk of beefcake. So what’s the promo like? Well, think of every sci-fi movie Hollywood has put out in the past thirty years or so. Add every promo made for each of them. Now hire the most disinterested, amateur voice over artist in the whole of Mumbai. Voila! There’s the promo for Love Story 2050.
It opens with the shot of something (an asteroid?) hitting the earth – you’ve seen it in every space disaster movie but let’s say Armageddon . Then some kid lisps off a few lines in an imitation baritone like he has a really bad bowel movement or is making fun of his dad. Next come actual bits of the movie: Boman Irani is a frustrated scientist in Einstein get up, furiously attacking a board with equations scribbled on it; some guy calls Priyanka Chopra “Sunshine” and asks her where she wants to go and she says “Mumbai 2050” (which… really? You get a chance to go anywhere you want and you choose your city 40 years into the future when everyone you loved in it would most probably have died?); somebody throws a lever and all of sudden robots, millions of them from every robot movie you can think of, including that scary one with Robin Williams; Furries or to be exact, one Furry, and sadly it’s only playing butler or something; either an Apple ad or an Apple ad to come; and OMG! OMG! It’s Gareebon ka Hrithik! Gareebon ka Hrithik!
As a Bollywood fan, you get used to a lot of things – but this promo seriously took me aback. Until I came upon the one video that explained that this was a placer of sorts. Apparently their post production work hasn’t yet made it to the special effects part of the movie, so Adlabs decided to release a teaser with other people’s work in it. I’ve heard of using stock footage and holding movie trials with borrowed music, but this is kind of ridiculous. For the sake of their legal fees, I really hope this was made by a couple of 18 year olds fooling around in the production booth and uploading their results onto Youtube coz I can’t imagine this shit would be legal otherwise.
However, I hope they keep the furries. Just so I can hear the uncles and aunties explain it to their kids.