Yes, that’s a rhyming title. Because I too can poem (poet? poetry? po? never mind).
As technology advances, unexpected but related woes are on the rise. Take, for example, Steven Levy who has one of those really cool jobs that I wish I could land: he reviews gadgets for Newsweek. It’s just one step short of my favorite-est job of all, which is writing a TV blog for Time. Anyway, Levy had an exciting week reviewing a MacBook Air:
Can you really blame a guy for losing something that’s called Air? True, Apple’s new superslim laptop isn’t transparent, and while its dimensions are anorexic (a profile ranging from 0.76 inches to 0.16 inches), we’re not really talking about a dust mote here. It does weigh three pounds: impressive for a computer, but nowhere near the borders of nonexistence. In terms of utility, though, my MacBook Air (or, more accurately, the review unit that Apple lent me) might as well not exist. Because it’s gone. Just another expensive miniature marvel of technology vanished into thin, um, air.
He goes on to say, “Blah blah blah wife hates clutter blah blah blah
wife we threw it out with weekend’s New York Times blah blah blah it might be in the apartment somewhere hiding in a dust bunny coz it’s, like, really thin you guys blah blah blah if you, like my wife, think this excuse is lame then it’s probably coz you stole it but laugh’s on you coz Apple can totally recognize it if you ever send it in for servicing blah blah blah now everybody is laughing at me. The end.”
Because my heart is full of envy and my soul is 100% sourpuss, I will say: hee hee hee!
What? It was only a stupid loaner anyway! And the folks Apple laughed at him and then billed Newsweek for it ($1800 if you’re shopping this awkward season).
Levy also seems to think this sort of thing might just happen to other people in the future as more and more people decide to buy Airs. [Completely OTT but that was a strange sentence.] Initially, I found that idea laughable but then I thought about it and you know what? It’s totally possible. Never underestimate the dimwitted powers of the human.
I mean, there are people in this world who forget their kids in locked cars. I wouldn’t be shocked if a couple of Airs got thrown out with the newspaper. Which makes me wonder – does this story increase the Air’s desirability quotient or decrease it?
If I’m thinking like a rational person? I wouldn’t buy it. $1800 for a piece of equipment that wouldn’t satisfy all my requirements and could well be tossed in the trash by mistake? Uh, I’ll pass thanks.
But if I’m thinking like the starry-eyed idiot I actually am, I’ve already begun rationalizing how I’m such a careful person and how my very strict requirements on what exactly constitutes a proper computing space (you know those crazy kids who drop down on the carpet at the computer lab and start banging away? Freaks.) means that the Air’s invisibility superpower will be severely handicapped from the start.
Control. I has it.