Bunty and Babbloo, childhood friends and proud members of the South Bombay Michael Jackson Fan Club, were thrilled this past Friday when they stopped by their favorite Mumbai pub, The Epileptic Fit Pit. There, on the dance floor was their idol, surrounded by Russian back up dancers.
“We were so excited, yaar,” said Bunty. “I mean, this is Michael Jackson, dude. With suspenders and all, you know?”
“But at first, no, I thought it was a bomb,” Babbloo confessed. “These morcha people, you know. Very anti-Michael Jackson types and all.”
“Yeah, my Mummy also says he is too Western but I told her I won’t give him up for Prabhu Deva the way she wants me to, you know?” Bunty chipped in. “Or Hrithik Roshan. I mean, he’s very cool and muscles and all but Michael Jackson is Michael Jackson, dude. He rocks!”
“Seriously, man,” Babbloo agreed.
To their further delight, Jackson executed some of his signature moves and sang a special song, keeping the weekend in mind: “Break free gotta get some chhutti, tod do deewaron ko!”
“It’s like someone told him about the extra bedroom my father is adding to the house,” said a thrilled Bunty. “I immediately called my father and told him to break that wall he’s been trying to save because all our electricity wires pass through it. We can always rewire our house.”
“It was so cool that he sang it for us in Hindi. It’s like how the Williams sisters wore sarees for their Indian fans. I am a tennis fan, too,” Babbloo informed us. “My favorite player is Anna Kournikova but she doesn’t play now. My second favorite is Maria Sharapova. I would like to see them in sarees also. I don’t understand why Bollywood doesn’t make good-good movies with people like that.”
For Bunty and Babbloo, life was clearly complete. But there was the inevitable fly in the ointment.
“You know, there was this stupid girl, Anjali or something her name is, and she kept saying this is Shahrukh Khan,” Bunty said, clearly annoyed. “And I told her, don’t be stupid yaar. It was very clearly Michael ji. I have seen Thriller so many times, am I mad? But this Anjail, no, she thinks she knows everything.”
“Actually, this Anjali is very hot,” Babbloo interposed. “But she’s like those stupid hot girls, you know? Ground floor is full and happening but upper story is for rent. I am going to propose to her very soon.”
“Haan, and you tell her that was Michael Jackson, okay?” Bunty said. “I can’t have my bhabhi going around calling Michael Jackson, Shahrukh Khan. I mean, come on, yaar! Shahrukh Khan!”
But what was Michael Jackson doing in Mumbai, singing a song in Hindi?
“Well, you know how it is for him in America, no?” Bunty asked. “They won’t leave him alone because of all that black and white stuff although he said he refuses to be a color and because of those silly court cases even if they set him free -”
“And that boy from Home Alone also said he wasn’t guilty,” Babbloo reminded his friend.
“Haan, so all that. And he’s been living outside for all this time, so now maybe he is in India to live because India is a very spiritual country.”
“Also, his brother was on that show with Shilpa Shetty in England, no, so maybe she told him to come here,” Babbloo guessed. “I like Shilpa Shetty too. She should dance more.”
“I am just very happy to see my idol here,” Bunty said. “Michael ji, I welcome you to India.”
“Jai Hind!” Babbloo said. “Michael ji, it is my fondest wish to see you and Shilpa Shetty or Anna Kournikova dance together.”