Oscar Schmoscar

25 Feb

What does it say about the world’s biggest, glitziest, humongous-est, celebrity-est, wonderful-est, award show ever that watching Gary Busey (from Entourage – how thrilling.) awkwardly molest Jennifer Garner on the red carpet (update: clip below! Thanks Ian!) was the most fun I had? Yeah, snoozefest. In fact, it was so boring, I’m using a clip from last year to introduce the post.

Jon Stewart tried his best (and HEH @ Gaydolph Titler), but not even he could hold up against the sheer Disneyness of it all and eventually it came down to making John Travolta-has-an-airplane jokes. I blame the never ending carousel of Enchanted songs. I can’t believe I actually liked this movie for a quick second when it came out. However, the sheer awfulness of it – unrelieved by the sight of the kickass Kristen Chenoweth dancing with old people, construction workers and a mariachi band – made me seriously happy when “Falling Slowly” (a song that hilariously includes the line, “You’ve suffered enough and the time has come for you to win”) from Once won the statuette for Best Original Song.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here’s the full list of winners for all you clever pusses who decided to give the show a miss. I’d join you all in your sensible boycott but then what would I do without my yearly Jack Nicholson fix? Tell me that!

Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton

Every single woman nominated in this category deserved to win (not something I can say every year) but I’m so happy my favorite won! I love her like a crazy person and thought Michael Clayton really wouldn’t have worked without her.

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem

He had me at first bloody strangulation. Seriously the best thing in No Country for Old Men. Is it just me or does he look like Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s hotter Spanish cousin?

Best Actress: Marion Cotillard

Every year, you’ll hear somebody or the other mutter how someone else deserved to take home the big prize. I don’t think that fate’s in store for Cotillard though. Julie Christie might have been the odds on favorite to win but Cotillard is just adorable and she pretty much made La Vie En Rose. I’m sorry to be such a philistine (not really but I thought I’d make the effort) but I don’t listen to French music and would never have rented this movie if I hadn’t known who Cotillard was and been intrigued by her clips.

Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis

People really thought that an upset might be possible with George Clooney walking away with the grand prize but I’ve had no doubts since I saw There Will Be Blood. He’s a bit of a ham in it but deliciously so. The Parma ham of acting, if you will. Don’t worry Johnny Depp, your day will come – just for something better.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen.

They ascribe their success to the fact that they’ve only ever adapted two writers: Homer and Cormac McCarthy. I’ve loved both those movies (O Brother Where Art Thou? and No Country For Old Men) and think there might be something to it (hello there, The Ladykillers).

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody

This one is tough. On the one hand I enjoyed Juno and think Cody deserves every success. On the other hand – seriously? It’s like a bunch of really old people sat down and went, “Huh, so this what the young ‘uns are like these days. Let’s give it an award then.” I haven’t seen The Savages, but I thought Michael Clayton, Lars and the Real Girl and Ratatouille were all better written. However, I never discount hype so I knew she was going to win and this is at least better than the award going to some movie that I absolutely hated.

Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen

Awww, Paul Thomas Anderson must be busy sticking needles into his voodoo dolls of the Coens. Other have asked if it would have absolutely killed them to show a little excitement but I’ve seen their interviews and behind the scenes footage from their movies and I thought it was absolutely in character for them to be so lackadaisical about the whole thing. Anyway, who’d want them to be the Brian Grazer of the directing world? And Frances McDormand made up for all their lack of enthusiasm. Cho chweet.

Best Picture: No Country for Old Men.

I haven’t seen Atonement, but of the remaining four, this was the movie that deserved to win. By a hair. I couldn’t put the other movies into an order of preference if you held a gun to my head. Well, no – of course, I could if you held a gun to my head, but I wouldn’t like to do it.

PS – There is much wonder in the land of gossip as to the whereabouts of one Ben Affleck – not only was his wife a presenter but Amy Ryan who acted in his movie was up on a supporting nom. Well, that mystery has been solved: he was out fucking Jimmy Kimmel.


Posted by on February 25, 2008 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Movies, Review, Television, Video


6 responses to “Oscar Schmoscar

  1. Aspi

    February 25, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    Ah yes, Amrita. This is why you are my source for everything cool that is happening. I missed that Gary Busey incident thanks to a kid spilling something on the floor (who will be talked to tonight). And now that its been linked to – how deliciously loopy of the man! Maybe we misjudged him all these years – he might really be a vampire.

  2. Ian

    February 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    Hi Amrita,

    There is YouTube vision of Gary Busey/Jennifer Garner – I think at that you might use rather than the Defamer live blog link.

    Love your work.

  3. sidekick

    February 26, 2008 at 12:15 am

    amrita, very nice roundup. i love jon stewart, so i was disappointed that the daily news team turn didn’t turn in a better script for him, particularly in an election year where there is so much scope for humor.

    the speeches were boring — except for yr fave tilda who rocked. diablo cody was a letdown. on the few talk shows i’ve seen her in she comes across as very funny and makes the whole rebel without a cause mission work.

    thanks for the affleck-kimmel clip. like only 8 million others i saw the matt damon-sarah silverman clip and laughed, but this was a fitting response on oscar nite no less. btw when did ben affleck get so thin?

  4. Aroon

    February 26, 2008 at 8:24 am

    Yupp no country all the way.. it really gave me the chills,, bardem was something else in it.. another flick which i really liked this yr was gone baby gone.. affleck totally redeemed himself with it.. Am getting there will be blood today.. so gonna watch that..

  5. Amey

    February 27, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    I think he has used “Tittler” in one of the episodes of Daily Show. But yes, I watched the show almost entirely to see Jon Stewart and a few others. Incidentally, I don’t think I have watched any of the movies which were nominated for Best Picture.

    But seriously, I didn’t expect stripper jokes 😦

  6. Amrita

    February 27, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    Aspi – you should have listened to him explaining why it was he did what he did. Talk about loopy!

    Ian – thank you 🙂 made the changes.

    Sidekick – I give them points for coming up with the few zingers they did coz of the writer’s strike. But along with the rest of the world, I have no idea why Steven Spielberg and Babs Streisand were reminiscing about their Oscar experience. Esp when they apparently didnt have the time to include Brad Renfro in the In Memoriam segment or Whoopi in the host montage. Rubbish. … re: Ben: maybe after he quit drinking? Like a fish, I hear.

    Aoonie roonie! – how’s it going? I liked gone baby gone too! And casey affleck is definitely the actor brother. and ben the director i guess. You’ll like There Will Be Blood. Also, watch Lars and the Real Girl.

    Amey – i dont remember but it’s entirely possible 🙂 And lol@ not watching any of the movies in BP. I think you’re in a lot of company. Forget stripper jokes – how about Harrison ford auto dealership jokes? sad.

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