Kim Kardashian – Style-n-Steal

07 Feb

This is Kim Kardashian. If there was any justice in this world, she’d be on Star Trek (they still have something from that stable on the air, right? I know the movie is coming out), fighting Klingons and giving me endless opportunities to snark. Instead, here are the two things about her that you should know: A) she has a big butt and B) she videotaped herself having sex with and getting peed on by her boyfriend. It has since been released commercially and you can rent it at your local porn shop. I understand it has extremely good production values for a home video, which I’m sure makes the golden shower community exceedingly happy.

She has since parlayed both these… um, interesting facts into a career that involves getting her ass (I’m not being metaphorical here) photographed on as many red carpets as she can manage and starring in a reality show (Keeping up with the Kardashians and no, I’ve never seen a single episode) featuring her family which includes her sisters, Khloe and Kourtenay.

This is Brandy. You’ve probably seen her sing and/or act. If Lauryn Hill had never existed, she’d have been a much bigger star than she is currently. However, Lauryn is now a crazy, scary lady so Brandy gets extra points.

Occasionally, however, Brandy likes to do dumb stuff. Like pretend to be married so that her fans wouldn’t think she was having a child out of wedlock and getting her boyfriend’s (another one) face tattooed on her back. Both those relationships went kaput and then she had to face up to some painful facts involving things like lasers. Ouch. She was also involved in a car accident that left one woman dead but as of yet there’s no proof that she caused it even if the woman’s family have slapped a civil suit on her so we’ll leave that alone.

Anyway, one of Brandy’s less-smart decisions was saying yes when her brother Ray J asked if his girlfriend could be her stylist. Said girlfriend being Kim Kardashian. As far as Ray J was concerned it was the least he could do – when a girl lets you pee on her on camera, you better believe she wants something solid to show for it. (NO! Not like that! Gross! Ewww!) Or maybe Brandy found Kim and Kompany all by herself which would make everybody involved in this tawdry little tale even more dumb than they already appear.

Point being, Brandy’s mother-cum-manager Sonja Norwood now says residuals from the porn industry and an increased visibility for her ass is not all that Kim took away from her Ray J experience. No, she apparently made off with Brandy’s credit card number, which she then shared with her siblings (including sis Khloe who also worked for Brandy as a personal assistant) to rack up charges in excess of $120, 000.

And so, Sonja would like the Kardashians to cough up about $1 million, give or take a few thousand.

You know, math was never my strong subject but when 120, 000 magically turns into 1 million, something strikes me as off. A fact which Sonja acknowledges:

Norwood said her “consequential and incidental damages” are in excess of $825,000, plus ten percent per year, minimum. The lawsuit goes on to say that this amount is just the starting point and Norwood is working still to figure out the full amount.

Hmm. Is this a mother’s revenge for having to share her son with a big butt for months? Or a way for Ray J to get his hands on the other half of those porn tape residuals? Or is Kim really that big of an idiot?

Like I care. Here she is being all annoying and Paris Hilton-y and then Brandy sings a song.


Posted by on February 7, 2008 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Music, Video


7 responses to “Kim Kardashian – Style-n-Steal

  1. terri

    February 7, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    I’ve always wondered why people videotape themselves having sex. Do they ever watch it again or stash it away in a drawer like we have our wedding video?

  2. Aspi

    February 8, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    What a fresh take on the Kim-Brandi nexus! Getting your sex tape “stolen” is the latest way to make celebrity these days. I hear they are teaching techniques in agent school in LA.

    I also happened to see an episode of Kim’s reality show mostly to see how dad Bruce Jenner – once an American hero – was coping with the craziness. And Kim came across as the most relatively sensible person in the family. Kim, I’d like to come over for Thanksgiving. Call me.

  3. Amrita

    February 8, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    Terri – um, are you trying to ask me something? 😀

    Aspi – my mind runs naturally to conspiracy theories! So you like some junk in the trunk, huh? 😀 I saw a clip of her on some news show and she was basically calling Jenner a has been who didn’t know anything about fitness which was prettty funny but then he can’t point fingers with Brody for a son. ew.

  4. عمار - aMmAr

    February 10, 2008 at 4:28 am

    disgusting 😛

    Do all these wanna be celebs have ho’s n pimps for parents??

  5. Amrita

    February 12, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Ammar – well her dad was OJ Simpson’s lawyer…

  6. Sudeep

    July 3, 2008 at 8:35 am

    he he.. she is definitely in news these days n no wonder this post is among the top ones. I bet u might have received many searches on the video itself leading here 🙂
    sometimes i feel gud tht m not yet a celebrity *ahem*

  7. ravi nair

    December 13, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    Her dad was O.J.Simpson’s best friend and they met I believe at USC. Rumor has it that she’s has a booty job done as well. It’s a common procedure being done by plastic surgeons in the USA nowadays where they help fill a woman’s trunk with desirable “JUNK” :-).

%d bloggers like this: