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Galloping bin Laden

06 Feb

I am shocked. Shocked and saddened. Could I have been so caught up in my life the past couple of weeks that I failed to bring you news of the best thing that’s come out of the Middle East lately?

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Omar bin Laden, son of Osama bin Laden, Esq. Omar’s a lover, not a hater. When he sees a rock, he’s likely to use it in one of his building projects rather than make his home in it. When he sees an English granny, he’d rather marry her than murder her. When given an option, he’d rather live in Cairo or London than Kabul. When he rides a horse, he does it for peace not because it’s the best way to lose the pursuing army in treacherous mountain passes. And unlike his sixteen year old brother Hamza, whom slain Benazir Bhutto accused of plotting her murder, the only thing Omar is likely to be accused of is crimes against fashion.

He is, however, full of interesting tidbits about growing up in the thick of an international terror network. We learn, for instance, that Daddy was a workaholic and not very emotionally present (well, mass murderers are like that), that his opportunities to make friends are few (Omar: “Hello, my name is Omar bin Laden and I am from Saudi Arabia.” Potential Friend: “EEAAAAGGGHHHH!!!”), that he wouldn’t have flown planes into those buildings on 9/11 (it wasn’t a nice thing to do)… and oh, yeah, Daddy really doesn’t give a hoot what his opinion is and wouldn’t be able to reverse the “movement” he’s set in motion even if he did.

Um.

So, basically, my opinion carries about as much weight as Omar’s? And I didn’t even have to suffer through training camps in the Sudan and Afghanistan for it to get ignored? Awesome.

Dear Omar – Thank you for the entertainment and the pleasant thought. But don’t feel like you have to hurt the pretty horsies on our account. Kthxbai.

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4 Comments

Posted by on February 6, 2008 in Life, Newsmakers, Politics, Video

 

4 responses to “Galloping bin Laden

  1. Amey

    February 6, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    If you are familiar with the Indian show called, “Indian Laughter Challenge”, this reminded me of the comedian with the bit, ” interview of Gabbar’s kids”. Emotionally unavailable? I would say šŸ˜‰

    Oh, and what is that “Kthxbai” at the end?

     
  2. Marie

    February 6, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    S.O.S IM TRYNG TO REACH OMAR OSAMA BIN LADEN.. IM HERE IN EGYPT… I HAVE A PROPOSAL FOR HIM.. NEED HIM TO CONTACT ME

    surrogate volunteer
    horse race support
    business proposal

     
  3. Amrita

    February 8, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    Marie – sorry, dont know him but if he’s googling himself, he’ll eventually end up here i suppose.

    Amey – you have to visit http://icanhascheezburger.com/

     
  4. Tanay

    February 9, 2008 at 8:09 am

    Is Junior Laden, the latest in story for falling for an English granny, I read one more of that sort but of a different flavour here:

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120251542094755135.html?mod=home_we_banner_left

     
 
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