I keep thinking that tomorrow Tom Cruise will hold a press conference and say, “Ha! Fooled ya, suckers!” but considering Mark Ebner sent it out and the thing was apparently taped for a Scientologists’ award function, chances appear to be very slim.
This video went viral after it was posted on Gawker and The Huffington Post yesterday and within half an hour it was pulled down. However, that was a half hour too late. It keeps mushrooming up all over the Internet. Here’s one of many Youtube uploads – watch it before it gets pulled! And if you’re too late, search for it on Youtube, I’m sure someone else would have posted it in the meantime.
I really think this is some of the best work Tom has done in years. Here’s a transcript from UsWeekly (which “mysteriously” pulled rather than correcting a story about Katie Holmes running the Boston Marathon in spite of not qualifying for it):
“Traveling the world and meeting the people that I’ve met, talking with these leaders in various fields, they want help and they are depending on people who know and who can be effective and do it and that’s us. That is our responsibility to do that.
“It is the time now. Now is the time… Being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, so you better know it, you better know it and if you don’t, go and learn it, but don’t pretend you know it. It’s like we’re here to help.
“If you’re a Scientologist, you see life, you see things the way they are, in all its glory, all of its complexity and the more you know as a Scientologist, you don’t become overwhelmed by it.
“Look, I wish the world was a different place. I’d like to go on vacation and go and romp and play and just do that, you know what I mean. That’s what I want it to be. There’s times I’d like to do that, but I can’t because I know I have to do something about it.
“I have to do it because I can’t live with myself if I don’t, and that really is it.
“So it’s our responsibility to educate, create the new reality. We have that responsibility to say, ‘Hey, this is the way it should be done because we do it this way and people are actually getting better.’
“And let’s get it done. Let’s really get it done and have enough love and compassion and toughness that you’re really going to do it and do it right.
“I have to tell you something – it is rough and tumble, and it’s wild and wooly, and it’s a blast, it’s a blast, it really is fun because, dammit, there is nothing better than the going out there and fighting the fight and suddenly you see things are better.
“I want to know that I’ve done everything I could everyday, and I think about those people out there who are depending on us. I think about that and it does make me feel that we’ve got more work. I need more help, get those spectators either in the playing field or out of the arena. Really, that’s how I feel about it.
“I do what I can, and I do it the way I do everything. [laughs] There’s nothing part-of-the way for me.”
PS – For those of you who have no idea what any of those terms mean, here’s the always helpful Towleroad. News is, Ebner knows where to get his hands on plenty more videos like this one. Should be a fun year coming up.
PPS – Now that the video above has been pulled, you can try the link Apu gives below. If that doesn’t work either, try this. It’s a newscast so it can’t be pulled but it’s not the original 9 minute clip. It does however have that music. Yay! Also, read this. Hilarious!