Depending on your views regarding transliteration, Jimmy Shergill will be seen this September 28 in a movie either called Dude, Let It Go or Dude, Fuck Me Now.
I saw a trailer somewhere and if Miss Slutty (heroine or item girl? Does it make a difference?) is anything to go by, I’m pretty sure Chhodon Na Yaar is the latter.
But this post isn’t about transliteration – not because I wouldn’t like to write about it but because time is in short supply – or about Jimmy Shergill. Instead, this post is about all those songs that shocked the nation to its core… for all of five heated minutes.
Remember when Karisma Kapoor and Govinda sang Sarkailo khatiya while squeezing a pillow between them? Hell, remember when Karisma was the most successful tranny in showbiz and Govinda was a huge star? (Oh no I didn’t! I’m so getting hate mail over this one!)
At the height of the controversy over the song’s ashleel (vulgar) depiction of er… whatever it was they were doing to that pillow, I remember some kid on the playground whispering earnestly in my ear that both the stars and the music director (or somebody totally random like that) had shown up on Doordarshan and begged the public not to watch the movie while apologizing profusely for any offense given. I’d wonder how David Dhawan must have felt at that point but I think he was too busy laughing all the way to the bank to care. By the way, I have no idea if that actually transpired or not but that’s what the little kid in pigtails said.
You gonna believe your own memory or a cute little girl in pigtails? What kind of a person are you anyway, casting doubt on little girls! So what if she liked to pinch and I eventually blackened her eye? Humpf.
Anyway, then there was everybody’s favorite Madhuri Dixit coyly answering to Choli ke peeche and Amitabh Bachchan yodeling for a kiss from Kimi Katkar in Jumma chumma de de. And please, let’s not forget that Bachchan wasn’t always the temple-going pater familias he is today – his best movies from the 70s all feature him acting as a dark foil to tons of ample vampy flesh being shook all over his tall frame.
Point is, everytime somebody starts moaning about the slipping standards of Bollywood, I always wonder what on earth they’re talking about. Bollywood, like every other film industry in the world, has pretty much made up the rules on the fly and defined itself as it went along. Even back in the day when Indian movies were all about mythologicals, Devika Rani was making out with beefcakes like there was no tomorrow. You think they began casting champion wrestler Dara Singh because he was India’s answer to Laurence Olivier? Get real. The stuff that makes you feel all misty eyed and nostalgic about the good old days today probably shocked the pants off your parents.
In any case, I don’t know how anybody who’s ever lived through the 80s can look at some chick shaking her booty and go chee chee, Ram Ram. I was watching Lamhe the other day and you should see what the extras are up to in Sridevi’s introductory song, Megha re megha. And that was a movie made on the cusp of the 90s by Yash “Wholesome” Chopra.
So anyway, here for your viewing pleasure are some Bollywood shockers through the ages to keep you warm and outraged while I’m away. See you all this weekend.
Rajesh Khanna Stalks Sharmila Tagore
Schoolboys for Padma Khanna Forever!
Mr. Bachchan Isn’t Impressed: The Bindu Edition
Lakshmi is an Immoral South Indian Girl
Mr. Bachchan Isn’t Impressed: The Helen Edition
Kimi Katkar Seduces Ape Man… oops, Tarzan
Karisma & Govinda Molest a Pillow
Madhuri Has Her Heart in the Right Place
But This! This is Outrageous!
Oh, and Rakhi Sawant Can’t Afford to Mend Her Clothes
Plenty more where the above came from but I can’t handle Mithun on an empty stomach. Not even for you, dear readers.