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Bollywood Sleaze

27 Aug

Depending on your views regarding transliteration, Jimmy Shergill will be seen this September 28 in a movie either called Dude, Let It Go or Dude, Fuck Me Now.

I saw a trailer somewhere and if Miss Slutty (heroine or item girl? Does it make a difference?) is anything to go by, I’m pretty sure Chhodon Na Yaar is the latter.

But this post isn’t about transliteration – not because I wouldn’t like to write about it but because time is in short supply – or about Jimmy Shergill. Instead, this post is about all those songs that shocked the nation to its core… for all of five heated minutes.

Remember when Karisma Kapoor and Govinda sang Sarkailo khatiya while squeezing a pillow between them? Hell, remember when Karisma was the most successful tranny in showbiz and Govinda was a huge star? (Oh no I didn’t! I’m so getting hate mail over this one!)

At the height of the controversy over the song’s ashleel (vulgar) depiction of er… whatever it was they were doing to that pillow, I remember some kid on the playground whispering earnestly in my ear that both the stars and the music director (or somebody totally random like that) had shown up on Doordarshan and begged the public not to watch the movie while apologizing profusely for any offense given. I’d wonder how David Dhawan must have felt at that point but I think he was too busy laughing all the way to the bank to care. By the way, I have no idea if that actually transpired or not but that’s what the little kid in pigtails said.

You gonna believe your own memory or a cute little girl in pigtails? What kind of a person are you anyway, casting doubt on little girls! So what if she liked to pinch and I eventually blackened her eye? Humpf.

Anyway, then there was everybody’s favorite Madhuri Dixit coyly answering to Choli ke peeche and Amitabh Bachchan yodeling for a kiss from Kimi Katkar in Jumma chumma de de. And please, let’s not forget that Bachchan wasn’t always the temple-going pater familias he is today – his best movies from the 70s all feature him acting as a dark foil to tons of ample vampy flesh being shook all over his tall frame.

Point is, everytime somebody starts moaning about the slipping standards of Bollywood, I always wonder what on earth they’re talking about. Bollywood, like every other film industry in the world, has pretty much made up the rules on the fly and defined itself as it went along. Even back in the day when Indian movies were all about mythologicals, Devika Rani was making out with beefcakes like there was no tomorrow. You think they began casting champion wrestler Dara Singh because he was India’s answer to Laurence Olivier? Get real. The stuff that makes you feel all misty eyed and nostalgic about the good old days today probably shocked the pants off your parents.

In any case, I don’t know how anybody who’s ever lived through the 80s can look at some chick shaking her booty and go chee chee, Ram Ram. I was watching Lamhe the other day and you should see what the extras are up to in Sridevi’s introductory song, Megha re megha. And that was a movie made on the cusp of the 90s by Yash “Wholesome” Chopra.

So anyway, here for your viewing pleasure are some Bollywood shockers through the ages to keep you warm and outraged while I’m away. See you all this weekend.

Rajesh Khanna Stalks Sharmila Tagore

Schoolboys for Padma Khanna Forever!

Mr. Bachchan Isn’t Impressed: The Bindu Edition

Lakshmi is an Immoral South Indian Girl

Mr. Bachchan Isn’t Impressed: The Helen Edition

Kimi Katkar Seduces Ape Man… oops, Tarzan

Karisma & Govinda Molest a Pillow

Madhuri Has Her Heart in the Right Place

But This! This is Outrageous!

Oh, and Rakhi Sawant Can’t Afford to Mend Her Clothes

Plenty more where the above came from but I can’t handle Mithun on an empty stomach. Not even for you, dear readers.

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8 Comments

Posted by on August 27, 2007 in Celebrity, Entertainment, Movies, Music, Personal, Video

 

8 responses to “Bollywood Sleaze

  1. Beth

    August 27, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    Good points, all of them. Stephen Alter (brother of Tom) was on my local NPR station today talking about his new book, and someone asked him about kissing and not in Bollywood, and he said something along the lines of “even though no clothing is removed, it can be positively vulgar.” Just like some of these. No sex in Hindi films? Puh-leeeease.

     
  2. veenu

    August 27, 2007 at 10:28 pm

    It is so funny for me to watch the old Hindi films now, or even Urdu or Punjabi films because there is sex in most if not all of them. My goodness, what one would see if there were no filmi songs where the heroine was heaving her breasts as the hero was singing would be intercourse! Vaisay I too get nostalgic for the old fillums, but it has nothing to do with “slipping standards.”

     
  3. apu

    August 28, 2007 at 12:22 am

    hilarious! u sure know how to make people waste their time, dont you…

     
  4. Tanay

    August 28, 2007 at 2:17 am

    Amrita, going for a break and leaving the readers shocking with their pants off, eyes popped out on the laptop/computer screen hmm 🙂

    Hail ho You Tube, Amrita just wish you have that ‘dhak dhak karne laga’ song of Madhuri and that mustando Anil Kapoor shot in the barn.

     
  5. OrangeJammies

    August 29, 2007 at 4:43 am

    That one about Karisma Kapoor being the most successful tranny had me in splits!!! (Actually, even the one about Godawful Govinda) Sex has sold since before the arclights, so we’re certainly not doing anything new on that front!

     
  6. BloggersMeet

    August 29, 2007 at 6:55 am

    Nice blog, i think u shud join the global network of bloggers at facebook.

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10243060499

     
  7. DesiGirl

    August 30, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    BWAHA HA HAHAHA! Oh god Ams you so totally rock! I loved the titles for each vid link !

     
  8. Amrita

    September 1, 2007 at 2:01 am

    Hello jobless people, I see you all enjoyed yourselves 😀

    Beth – Stephen Alter has a book? I need to find out more. Tom is probably one of my favorite (and most underrated and criminally ill used) actors in Bollywood.

    Ana – (you’ll always be Ana to me, I’m afraid) I too miss the days of old for other reasons. Especially the 50s. Damn that was a good decade for Hindi cinema. Also the 70s.

    Apu – lol, it’s an art form 😀

    Tanay – EWWWW! 😀 I’m sure it;s there on Youtube. And also a dozen songs with Dimple Kapadia I’m sure. That song with her Anil Kapoor still gives me chills 😦

    OJ – hee hee, but she was! Those unfortunate eyebrows, the frizzy hair, the garish makeup…

    BM – thanks, I will 🙂

    DG – I thought long and hard about them 😛

     
 
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