Like Pakistan didn’t have enough problems.
Sunny Deol, beloved Bollywood action star turned purveyor of patriotism, is out to bring some love and patriotism into the hearts of Pakistanis with his new movie, Kaafila or Caravan. Deol stars as the quintessential Pakistani: an ISI officer who ends up married to a Russian for some fascinating reason that I’ll probably have to watch the movie to figure out.
Frankly, I thought this was some kind of science fiction movie the first time I saw its trailer and kept waiting for the alien to show up but as it turns out I couldn’t have been more mistaken.
Written, produced, directed and acted in by Amitoj Maan (a Manoj Kumar discovery), Kaafila is the story of illegal immigrants, forced to leave their homes in search of a better life abroad so they can support their loved ones at home. They live lives of danger and misery, which includes Bulgarian models and stuff. No, really, it’s apparently a heartwrenching story.
It almost wrenched the heart out of one reviewer who recounts the many wonderful things he learned through this movie:
- Do you know what the Taliban looks like? Kaafila makes them look like Indians wearing fake beards.
- Do you know how to store deadly plutonium? The film shows a scientist carrying a dark green test tube, containing a liquid.
Kaafila also includes half the known world amongst its starcast, most of whom are camped out on Youtube, exhorting passersby to please keep an eye out for chachaji and chachiji in that scene where the dust storm comes out of the Taliban’s left nostril. Or something like that. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was riveted by all the hate directed towards Sana Nawaz, who gave this riveting interview where she’s all kinds of pissed at a whole lot of people:
When I went home after a schedule of Kaafila, there was a sense of betrayal amongst my fans. I remember how the cops would stop me and question me about signing a film opposite Sunny! I would patiently explain that Sunny is an actor and what he plays on-screen is just another character. In a cross-border script, who would he bash but the Pakistanis? Finally, they would let me pass!
Well, that’s new way of looking at it. I like the inevitability of it all. Normally, Pakistanis would have been able to see this movie only in its crystal clear pirated version. But the occasion of Deol’s turning into a full fledged Pakistani beta is so momentous that Kaafila is going to be released in Pakistan as well.