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Sexual Histories & A Tag

21 Jul

Anne Geddes

Sakshi asks, “Would you date a serial lover?”

You might as well ask, “What do you find attractive in a person?” As the responses on her post indicate, the answer is highly subjective. And God only knows if we’d eventually stick to it.

I could make a laundry list of all the things I want in a partner, then bump into the very antithesis of my fictional Prince Charming at the local grocery store, fall in love and live happily ever after. Having said that, why not date a serial lover?

In my case, I think if “serial lover” means the person has a history of long, unsuccessful relationships, then I’d ask a few questions.

Is he commitment phobic? [That’s different from someone who has commitment issues… like, um, me for example.] Why did all his girlfriends eventually leave him? If he left them, then is he just hard to please or is there a deeper issue at work there? How old is he? What’s he like with his friends and how does that compare to how he treats his girlfriend? There’re a lot of questions to ask.

However, if by serial lover you mean someone who’s been on a lot of dates with a lot of women (or vice versa), I don’t see the harm in it. Most people want to be in love and if you’re circumstances are conducive to dating, it gets you one step closer to finding your partner.

Besides, dating is fun and not necessarily a sign of promiscuity. Who doesn’t enjoy the trappings of a date? You get dressed up, you exchange compliments – you feel wanted. Everybody wants that.

I don’t really care if a number of those dates ended up in the bedroom either. Yes, I’d have health concerns because I’m not stupid and I had an excellent education which included sex-ed, but morally speaking? The past is prologue and what you do in in the privacy of your bedroom is your own concern. [If the person likes to talk incessantly about his/her exploits in the bedroom, however, all bets are off. Coz… ew.]

It would be nice to say emphatically that look, here’s my list and if you cross that one line then it’s all over. But it doesn’t always work that way. The older you get, or rather, the older I get, black and white tends to seep into gray.

When I was sixteen, for example, I had some strict rules about romance. My best friends and I decided we’d never say the words “I love you” to anyone but our One True Love. Ha! Three guesses as to how well that worked out.

When I was eighteen, I thought I knew everything there was to know about the world. I knew right from wrong and how to keep to the straight and narrow. I wasn’t about to put a step wrong, thank you very much.

By the time I turned twenty one, I couldn’t believe what a smug little dumbass I used to be.

If you do it right, life has a way of picking you up and shaking the hell out of you. It beats the crap out of you before coming back and stomping on your face just for the fun of it. I haven’t even lived a life that’s all that hard but I’m not so unintelligent that I can’t recognize a pattern when it repeats over and over again.

The trick is to learn to roll with the punches and keep looking forward because the moment you stop to drown yourself in self-pity or pat yourself on the back, you’re done.

And eventually, you have to go with your gut instinct. Any relationship, romantic or platonic, is based on trust – so the question here is not so much whether you can date a serial lover but can you trust someone in spite of (arguably) the worst you know about them?

The worst I could find out about a person is that they were just about as perfect as it could get. Show me a person who’s never put a foot wrong, who’s never done anything they’ve had to be ashamed of – and I’m not sure I’d trust them.

I’d be too busy waiting for them to fuck up.

The fuck ups of this world, the saner ones at least, are easy. They’ve done their time and come out the other side already. Hopefully, they’ve learned a couple of things but in case they haven’t, you know what to look out for.

For example, if I went mad tomorrow and decided to hook up with a junkie who refuses to acknowledge he has a problem, then I’d do that with my eyes wide open. Same thing goes for someone who’s in recovery of some sort – I understand the demons are only being kept at bay, they haven’t miraculously vanished.

What am I supposed to do with a perfect person though? What do I look out for? Do I just regard every single action of his with suspicion or do I take him at his word and trust that everything will be okay?

So it’s about judgment – your judgment. And that’s all you’ve got to base your entire life on. Scary thought, isn’t it?

And coincidentally, that’s what the Mad Momma tagged me on: What am I judgmental about?

Soooooooo many things. 😳

I’m what I like to call a fluid snob. I can’t be bothered to be snobbish about something two days in a row or about the same thing in two different people so the items on my list keep fluctuating.

Most days it can be something pretty basic, like manners. Some days I go a little crazy and get all judgmental about things that are really none of my business like how much a person laughs. It’s true.

Just two days ago, I remember looking at this one chick and getting annoyed because she laughed so much. Unless you know me in real life, you don’t know how cheeky such an observation is, coming from me, the all time greatest grinning fool. Anyway, so here’s a short list of things I was all up in arms about over the last seven days or so:

1. Manners – some people just don’t have any and that’s fine. It’s not their fault they were brought up in a cave somewhere by wolves. But then they like to give themselves airs over it and that’s just too much.

This one cretin was holding forth the other day about how the (Indian) blogosphere is so kiss ass, by which, he went on explain, he meant everybody gave out compliments and other airy fairy things he didn’t approve of.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised because he and his cohorts never show up except to call names and abuse people without any regard whatsoever to the subject matter of the post, but seriously? He thinks it’s a crime to be nice to each other?

We teach our pets to behave well with other animals, for heaven’s sake – isn’t it time more of us learned how to do what Fido and Fifi do so well?

2. Google Laziness – If you can afford to spend the time and effort required to leave a comment on a website, then you can afford to spend a couple of minutes on Google, checking up on facts. Your facts especially. It’s nice that you have an opinion based on your gut instinct but I’m really not interested in your indigestion.

And I’m not your nanny either. And if I was your nanny, I’d find a baby far better looking than you to spoon feed. So there!

3. Laughter – You don’t have to laugh at every joke, especially when it’s your own.

4. Extremists – One of the apocryphal quotes attributed to Karl Marx is: “I’m not a Marxist.” It might not be true but it’s a great sentiment. If you’ve drunk the Kool Aid to such an extent that it’s now messing with your ability to think outside the box then I don’t have a very high opinion of you.

Aaman had an excellent post up about it. He says it a lot better too.

5. Hysteria – Calm the fuck down! The world isn’t coming to an end just because you got a hang nail or whatever your latest crisis is. Take a deep breath and learn to exhale.

6. Loud voices – I don’t require you to act like you’re in a cathedral or a museum 24×7 but do you have to talk at the top of your voice?

By the way, is this an Indian thing? Nine out of ten Indians I know talk at the top of their lungs.

It’s especially interesting because I’ve noticed everybody’s very calm when speaking English, but bring in the mother tongue (whatever it might be) and BOOM! Everybody’s yelling in tandem. I do it too.

I’m ashamed.

7. Judgmental People – Must you be so judgmental? After all, we’re all only human. 😛

[Ok, so that Saks-MM correlation was a stretch but I think I made it across. Now quit your whining before I tag you!]

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21 Comments

Posted by on July 21, 2007 in Life, Personal

 

21 responses to “Sexual Histories & A Tag

  1. the mad momma

    July 21, 2007 at 5:11 pm

    so much better than mine… all reasonable and all.. I am terrible ..but at least i am not loud :p!!!

     
  2. veenu

    July 21, 2007 at 8:31 pm

    Na, na, na, na, nahin, talking loud is not just an Indian thing. I hear some pretty loud Amreekans in my surroundings. Enough to want to make me hide somewhere in silence for hours on end.

     
  3. Amrita

    July 22, 2007 at 2:07 pm

    MM – laugh, laugh! I’ve decided only to whisper from now on 😛

    Ana – Oh, thank God. Maybe its a mother tongue issue then? Hmmm…

     
  4. Kokonad Sinha

    July 23, 2007 at 5:20 pm

    “If you do it right, life has a way of picking you up and shaking the hell out of you. It beats the crap out of you before coming back and stomping on your face just for the fun of it. I haven’t even lived a life that’s all that hard but I’m not so unintelligent that I can’t recognize a pattern when it repeats over and over again.”

    I loved this line! Powerful and true!

     
  5. Amrita

    July 24, 2007 at 1:47 pm

    Thanks Koke… know how it feels, huh? 🙂

     
  6. Chiranjeevi

    July 25, 2007 at 12:58 am

    Hi Amrita,

    I like this blog of you because you have tried to chase a serious point of discussion into many directions. I should say it got scattered all around. There are no absolutely appreciable final judgments to many issues in this world. Dating essentially belongs to this facet of dilemma in human life. I liked your opinions on dating. I like to put a girl of your standard to some unit test because I like the process. In this test, I am putting myself on your desk of consideration and judgment. Please deliver the judgment. Shun your impressions, if you got any, about me, reading something bad about me on those blogs. This allows you to be fair in your judgment. The test is below.

    1. I am 31 and a bachelor looking out for marrying an exceptionally beautiful, intelligent and creative girl on my own choice.

    2. I loved many girls but none of them responded positively. They got some problems at family level or personal level and they could not make it clear to me for some reasons. It’s history, something I cannot rewrite.

    3. I don’t have any diseases, physical or mental, except “giddiness” now and then. I often eat some kind of chocolates without bothering about their quality. This may be the reason for giddiness once or twice in a year.

    4. About six different men told me earlier that I look like Nagarjuna. I take their compliments in a positive way because they did not do it minding something from me at all. So, this is partly to let you know that I am a handsome guy.

    5. I did not touch any girl in the bodily sense during my 31 years of life not because I am impotent or stuffed with some other disease by God unknown to doctors also. I like to dedicate the purity of my body at least honestly to my wife. I don’t say that I am pure at psychological level. Fantasies and dreams often kill the purity of a man at this level these days. I saw some English films when I was a student and they exposed me to the reality of attraction the body of the opposite gender carries along with it to direct the man toward the undesirable or unethical. The nakedness of females is pervasive these days in outdoor and indoor media outlets. So, only physically I am pure.

    6. I do possess the qualities of intelligence, creativity and handsomeness and I hope this authorizes me to look for a girl of similar qualities. If any girl likes to check whether I possess these qualities or not, prior to engaging in dating or fighting of rationality or irrationality with me, directly or indirectly, I would be happy to be tested thoroughly.

    7. A girl may not believe in my words. She may think that I am a dog and that I slept with many bitches earlier which I am strategically hiding now for my “good boy” impression sake in the society. This may lead me for catching AIDS. I like the girl if she takes me to some hospital and get me tested in a full-pledged manner so that even I can know if I got any other diseases internally which do not show up externally for my common understanding sake or others’ realistic assessment sake. So, there is no point of hide-and-seek in this setup. A hero is challenging the heroine to do whatever she likes to assess the quality of a person at hand to be judged. Marriage or love is the theme. Setting is perfect.

    8. The girl need not take up any special tasks at my home to satisfy the egos of my brothers or parents because they can get on, on their own. This is to let you know that there are no any plots of sadness or discomfort at my family level to scare the girl partly or fully before are after taking some step.

    After reading the above content, you are supposed to answer the following questions:

    1.What should I do to convince a girl that I am good in many ways? Mind you I am already 31 and I cannot spend months and years with her to let her assess me perfectly before deciding to marry me or not. This means dating agenda should not contain long duration elements and deep analysis yardsticks because I am an old man of 31 years from the perspective of teenage girls in some sense.
    2.Any girl with the qualities I am looking for does have some amount of ego. How should I handle it and make her mad for me because my concern is for a girl that spends most of her time with me not with dogs or birds or other insects as part of her regular life. I have been a lovesick fellow for about 20 years. This makes me mad after any beautiful girl I am going to marry because I like to explore her like anything. This is something anybody can understand easily based on my pitiable background.
    3.Since I am pure in a bodily sense and because I am looking out for a girl of similar quality in this aspect, how can I ask her to tell me whether she is pure or not. Modern girls don’t like being asked such questions. How should I handle this issue with a girl? I am not very broadminded in this respect. I don’t want a bitch that slept with many boys already. I do believe that bodily purity is essential for a man or woman before or after marriage. I am strictly against premarital and extramarital relationships. At the same time I don’t mind if a girl has got 1000 friends of both genders. Friendship doesn’t always include unethical relationships. I am not a psychopath.
    4.Since I am a Hindu and because my parents are a bit particular about the religion, I prefer Hindu minding my family situation. For some reasons, I find even a Muslim girl considerable for marriage to me. I will ask my parents to keep their mouths shut up if some exceptional beauty of Islam steals my heart and gets ready to jump into my life. What do you say about this perspective of my life in choosing a bride?
    5.Since there is no chance to check whether a girl has good background as a girl or not (no records of life available), I need to believe in whatever she says. How far is it dependable? This is a matter of life, not a game. I want a long-term relationship with the girl I am going to marry. I dislike divorce and live-in relationships. So, I get severely affected and hurt if I fail to choose a good girl who likes to live with me forever. Only her words have to make me believe that she is a very trustworthy girl and that she lives with me forever. How should I attend this crucial recruitment phase?
    6.Financially I am strong. This means I can provide her with food, shelter and clothing of considerable nature. She can do a job if she likes and deems necessary. I am an idealist. I like to give maximum amount of freedom to women; my wife is also part of that race. Many modern and beautiful girls are after NRIs, Software Engineers, Businessmen, Celebrities and aristocracy of other dimensions. I take sometime to become a celebrity and I am going to achieve it 100 percent if I am alive. There is no doubt about it. I have got the strength. It’s a matter of time. Then how can I make myself attractive to some girl in this scenario so that she can decide fast to marry me or not.
    7.To let the girl know whether I have some considerable stuff or not, my blog site is there. My books are at editing level. 60% of the work is over. I can show proofs to prove my strengths to her but how can I judge her compatibility with me in the same sense if she doesn’t have any proofs of tangible nature. I don’t want a machine to cook, wash my clothes and bring up my children. I want a girl of positive pride, dignity and moderate levels of self-respect. Somebody that can challenge me if I am going wrong. How should I tackle this issue in my recruitment process?
    8.I am an admirer of beauty and so the beauty of my wife should inspire me on a daily basis. This reality compels me to marry only an exceptional beauty. So far I approached or proposed to only such girls who came my way in some direction. In some cases, I took the initiative approaching unknown girls also to me in a personal or professional manner. Sakshi is an example. I searched for a girl with that name on Google. I wrote a lot on her blog only with the intention of love and marriage. She took it differently and considered me a dog on the road. I am not angry with her today. She is a good girl in many ways. I don’t like to assess her personality based on her treatment toward me because I am not God. Still I read her blog and like her as a good person. I stopped posting comments on her blog because she is deleting them. So, this example is to let you know how some girls behave toward me if I take the initiative and approach them directly and boldly. If I approached Sakshi, it was not because I am an inferior creature to her! In beauty, intelligence and creativity, I can beat her at any level. Since I should not boast of myself when approaching a girl, I maintain submissiveness and humility. If others take it as my helplessness or demerit, how can I educate them in that direction. It looks foolish or unacceptable to observers or the person concerned. They say that I am egoistic or haughty or self-centered. Then, how should I approach a beauty and win her within one month’s time?

    Since you are Amrita (which saves people from death) and I am Chiranjeevi (which means immortal) I thought the game looks interesting. So, I am posting this tough unit test on your blog. I am authorizing you only to attend this special case. Please do not allow meaningless or abusive comments here. They should be either decent or constructive. I was deeply hurt to see the comments of followers of Sakshi on her blog when I last posted some stuff on her blog. Spaceman Spiff extremely tested my patience levels. I don’t use much strength of my thought to tackle girls because I am their admirer. If I left Sakshi and Spaceman Spiff with a bit of combat only, it is because of this reason. If it was some man, the battle would be different. Please save me from this shame. I don’t deserve it. I cannot bear it. I am a sensitive guy.

    I write humor and like if somebody makes me the object of humor in a decent manner. So, you can address me here whichever way you like. You are the commander of this blog. I am just a sepoy! Mangal Pandey! Do or Die!

    I am sitting like a convent kid with a bag of books at my back before you! Teacher! Please guide me. I want a girlfriend to live with me forever. I am in darkness of lovesickness and self-pity. How long can I drag this tasteless and gloomy life further? Protect me. Direct me. Pity me. Shower your kindness and affection on me!

    Sincerely,
    Datla Chiranjeevi Raju,
    Hyderabad.
    ——————————————————————————————————-

     
  7. Amrita

    July 25, 2007 at 10:48 am

    Wow, Chiranjeevi, that’s a lot of trust to repose in a stranger! I don’t know if I can help you but here’s what I think. First your points:
    1. Don’t try to date teenage girls. If you’re 31 years old, look for someone a little closer in age. And she may not need years to make up her mind but she’ll definitely require a few months to do so. Talk to her, don’t just tell her things, but TALK to her – exchange info and trade opinions.

    2. Ego has nothing to do with wanting to spend time with anyone. Some people like to have a little space to themselves, others want to be with the people they love all the time. You seem to be the latter so be upfront about it. If she can’t handle it, I’m sure you’ll see that.

    3. There isn’t a question that can’t be asked if you’re considering spending your life with someone. The trick is to be respectful and sincere. Try not to call her a bitch or call yourself a dog. That would help.

    4. Your future wife’s religion is absolutely none of my business.

    5. You want to know how to judge whether a person is trustworthy. I have no answers for you. There is no magic formula. Everything is a leap of faith – if you can’t make the jump then learn to accept life as a bachelor.

    6. If you’re financially stable then that should be enough. Why would you want to marry somebody who’s primary interest in marrying you is your bank account?

    7. A person’s capability – well, that’s where judgment comes in again. It takes time and repeated interactions but you should be able to judge for yourself. Approach her as you would any other human being because one’s character isn’t dependant on one’s marital status.

    8. I don’t understand the one month time frame. Even an arranged marriage takes more time.

    In this connection I would also say that I’m afraid I’m on Sakshi’s side of the debate here. Not only because she’s a woman and a friend but also because I wouldn’t have appreciated a stranger coming on my blog and making advances out of the blue.

    I think you have this blogging thing a little confused – most bloggers aren’t looking for a romantic relationship to develop out of their blogging. In fact, you’re the first person I’ve met who’s using it in such a way. If you wish to find someone to date, I suggest you try a social networking site such as Orkut or MySpace, etc. Although, since you’re definitely looking for marriage, i think something like Shaadi.com or its Telugu equivalent would be a good idea.

    I’d also say that from the sounds of it, you weren’t in love with any of these women who rejected your advances – especially if you found them the way you found Sakshi – you were lonely and you found someone attractive. If so, then the correct step would have been to find out if you guys had something in common and if she felt the same way about you as you feel about her and then maybe ask her out.

    It’s a bit much to ask someone to marry you (in a month too!) right off the bat when that person has no idea who you are. And also, it’s good that you know what you want out of a relationship but for one to actually work, you need to now think what she might want. And the best way to find that out, once you’ve met the girl who’s interested, is to ask her. Have a conversation.

    So that’s my bit of advice. Hope it helped. Good luck!

     
  8. amitscorpio

    July 25, 2007 at 9:21 pm

    really a nice patient bit (or i should say mega bite) of advice!!
    I hope chiranjivi doesn’t find this comment in wrong sense!!

     
  9. some body

    July 25, 2007 at 11:49 pm

    chiranjeevi:

    “I write humor and like if somebody makes me the object of humor in a decent manner. ”

    the following is 100% humour.

    amrita:

    chiranjeevi has come and gone. any bets on when rajnikant will make an appearance? to offer dr. rajkumar (who will definitely follow) advice, you will need the help of the austrian masseuse!

    – s.b.

     
  10. Chiranjeevi

    July 26, 2007 at 2:01 am

    Hi Amrita,

    I was coming to your site with the apprehension “What if she blasts me because she is a friend of Sakshi, partly or fully? What if she simply deletes my comment?” Thank God! You did not create a storm out of nothing like Spaceman Spiff did earlier. I am not good at dealing with girls once they go angry or frustrated with me for some reasons. You saved me from this whirlpool. I am very happy and grateful to you for being kind to me.

    “Wow, Chiranjeevi, that’s a lot of trust to repose in a stranger!” this sentence specially pleased me. You are right. One fears to post such a big personal kind of post on a stranger’s blog, especially if she or he happens to be the friend of one who tortured the guy in question like anything. I am giving you more marks to you as a person than to Sakshi. Congratulations for being such a good girl.

    The following is a brief response to your pieces of advice in a point-wise manner.

    1.I prefer teenage girls because their thoughts and imaginations carry excitement, dreams and fun in full swing. Though I am 31, I believe I am a teenager in thoughts and imaginations. Then the test to me would be to make them believe that I am a teenager. The ordeal is teenagers don’t hurry to marry but I need to hurry. Time is running out. I cannot give her a few months to understand me. If I have to follow it, it’s my bad luck.
    2.Your second point is perfect. It is universally applicable.
    3.The third point is quite dependable and appreciable. It is ideal and practicable. I can use such heavy words in a script or story if the plot requires it. A sensitive and beautiful girl may not be able to deal with me if I use such harsh words. The approach, tone, treatment and temperament need to be soft and refined from my side. First I need to question, “What did I do?” before asking “How did she react?”.
    4.In the fourth point you have tried to respect me more than necessary! You tried to leave me more space to attend it at personal level. I would have been happy if you touched it a bit more. Anyway you played your role smartly here. It’s good.
    5.The fifth point is extraordinary and I am giving you 100 marks for 100 for this part. It is appearing like the order of a benevolent despot to one of his poor subjects. I liked the force and authority of this sentence in addressing the issue at hand. You are absolutely right. Faith is important. We need to jump into a pond if we like to swim. Whether there are treasures or leeches in the water can be decided only after swimming and checking things out for a while. The jump is the first step. If we are lucky, our future with the partner can be bright as we define it. Otherwise it’s a matter of compromise if we like to somehow drag the vehicle of two lives of togetherness and fondness. If we dislike it, it’s simply sacrifice known as “divorce”. One should be ready to face anything. This is the past, present and future of marital or love relationships.
    6.The sixth point is great. Somebody’s concern must be about my financial status to some extent only because a beautiful, intelligent and creative girl cannot lead her life in the company of a destitute guy forever. I am an admirer of beauty. I always argue the point from the angle of angel at hand. If that angel is predominantly worried about my financial status only, then it’s going to be hell to me to some or large extent, something I can/should avoid for my safety sake!
    7.The seventh point is also meaningful and insightful. Self-assessment is necessary. The introductory step into love aimed at marriage should always be ideal. One should not attempt it with much expectation from the other person. Let her take a little time, feel cool, assess the guy’s standards a bit and be attracted or distracted according to her hidden agenda. I agree with you that the marital status of a person can never be a parameter to decide her worth for some purpose of quality assessment. Broader perspective is good to be practiced.
    8.The eighth point is where I could trace the kind of liberty and fun I expected to be played by you addressing me. I take it as a kind of insightful joke. True, one month timeframe is a bit difficult for girls to understand. My defense is “An old man of 31 years (dreamer and lovesick fellow in particular) can’t allot more than that time to a girl to assess his worth and immediately fall in love with him and decide to marry him. Only a girl of similar background and suffering can take such fast decisions and actions if she comes across such a guy. It would then be a perfect match. Both would eventually go to some jungle and mind their business of innocence and common sense understanding (recollect some rain song like “Pyaar Hua Ikraar Hua”. The setting must be a jungle in place of a road). A dreamer like me has every right to fix such a timeframe for his imaginary dream girl yet to come his way. Objection overruled”.

    The first paragraph following the eight points disappointed me. Yet your handling of the matter is 100% decent and perfect. Whatever you wrote there is right from your standpoint. My points are “Sakshi is not an innocent girl. She traveled far and wide. She is a girl from a cosmopolitan city like Mumbai, the heartbeat of India. When she observed that a guy is posting something she doesn’t like to happen on her blog, she can attend it politely. On the other hand, a girl of that standard, being identified as a celebrity blogger and social crusader to some extent, can deal with that issue there itself. An ordinary girl may not be able to deal with an abnormal fellow but not a celebrity. She must be able to handle him effectively. She did it in a funny way. Check the words she used there addressing me refusing the proposal. If I wrote 100 words, she wrote 10 words in response which shows her negligence and carelessness to another guy if he happens to come to her place of debate on his own. Does she do so if one of her relatives, friends or well-wishers does so? She tries to be very humble and refined in responding to them. A good person needs to treat newcomers in a more dignified and kind manner than those familiar to her. An example is your response here to my long comment. You can simply say, “Fuck off” to me because I am a stranger to you and you need not respect me for anybody’s sake. Love is a sensitive and dreamy substance. Its essence lies in sympathy and empathy. If somebody approached you with that element of desire or dream, you have to behave very kindly and softly not to hurt the other fellow, who might be immature or innocent in matters of expression of love to others. I feel Sakshi failed in this respect”.

    The second paragraph is where I don’t agree with you. I am a dreamer. I do things differently. Any Tom or Dick can go to a marriage website or bureau and do it as others do it. I did it already and I found nobody compatible there. It’s all highly commercial. Qualifications, financial status, surname, caste, religion, region, height, weight…all the traditional diseases sit there. I already explored that hospital of patients and was thoroughly disgusted with it. My point is my dream girl can be anywhere. It could be on a blog site, train, bus, road, airport, book or film. I need to struggle like anything to find her and make her mine because I need her badly. So, my approach may look abnormal or unusual to others but it is not evil or unethical. I am begging/requesting/asking/ a girl to love and marry me. So, more than where and how I am doing it, why I am doing it that way is considerable here! It would be definitely condemnable if I ask somebody for other purposes of unacceptable nature. Anyway I don’t/cannot expect others to agree with me in this regard. Personally I like a girl approaching me anywhere in any manner if love or marriage is the core of her endeavor. In fact my worry always has been, “Why the hell no girl ever dares do something with me? How many times can I take the initiative with many girls to be called a serial lover, which I don’t deserve, when fair critics check the matter?”

    The third paragraph is where you underestimated me. I always approached a girl in a formal manner, something where she needn’t be scared of me and take time to respond at her own pace. Unfortunately, the more ideal and formal I have been, the more casual or careless they have been. Love is a sensitive and thrilling cause for me. I always tried to handle it differently. No parks, theaters or outings. Just a decent first step! If she is unable to address it decently on the spot, she is incompatible to me. I experiment with love. I don’t follow the traditional routes. I like to put it “My experiments with love”. It’s time for Mahatma Gandhi to face me with a similar book in future.

    Probably conversation is where I fail. Since I admire female beauty to a great extent, I often fail to talk to an exceptional beauty if she is sitting right in front of me. She dazzles me with her beauty. She exerts a magic upon me with her fire of silent command. I take time to cool down coming down from that admiration trap and prepare a letter. Then my goddess considers me a fool, buffoon, beggar or loafer because “I approached her decently and formally and admirably”. Ask any sensitive male lover in this world. They tell you stories how these so-called “goddesses” behave with dreamers. Still I need to move along. My journey is long. I need a sweetheart to make it bearable! I have to be humiliated by her unkind gestures! I have to struggle to win her! I am lonely in the valley of love! Nobody comes along with me in this expedition! It’s a one-man show! Tickets were already sold out!

    I am giving you 80 marks for 100 for your performance in this unit test. You did not address me in a comic sense though I authorized you to do it. This is something I did not like from you. Fill life with fun when the other wants it! What’s wrong!

    Thank you very much for spending your time and heating up your brain a bit to address me formally and decently here.

    You proved you are “Amrita”. Perhaps this is my attempt to tempt you. A dreamer is a humble and cultured naughty guy when it comes to dealing with girls. You stood like a challenger and beat me in the race. Where is the gold medal! Who is there??

    I will keep in touch. Are you scared? I can understand. Long comments! Boring no!

    Sincerely,
    Chiranjeevi.
    —————————————————————————————————————

     
  11. Chiranjeevi

    July 26, 2007 at 2:07 am

    Hi Amit,

    I am very happy with your good words addressing the good girl Amrita and me.

    You can understand how I respect and treat a person if she or he deserves it.

    The second long comment is an example (torture) for this.

    Check if Amrita is hiding in some bush and telling you secretly, “Tell that guy that I am not here! He comes to me if he spots me with his elaborate words. Oh God! He is torturing me in a different manner! Sakshi is lucky!

    Tell her secretly, “He is not here. You can come out”.

    With Love,
    Chiranjeevi.
    ——————————————————————

     
  12. some body

    July 26, 2007 at 8:10 am

    chiranjeevi:

    i apologize. all the best of lyck to you.

    amrita:

    if you don’t mind, please feel free to take my comment out. that was probably not as funny as i thought it was when i wrote it :-(.

    – s.b.

     
  13. some body

    July 26, 2007 at 8:11 am

    a typo – i meant “luck”.

    – s.b.

     
  14. Amrita

    July 26, 2007 at 10:39 am

    Amit – I should check for openings in the Agony Aunt depts of newspapers, no?

    Chiranjeevi – I don’t usually hide from people. If i have a problem with you, I’ll definitely tell you much like Sakshi did 🙂 Like I said, good luck to you.

    SB – links require moderation on this board. I get too much spam 😦 I wasn’t cutting you out 🙂 And pls! dont mention Dr Rajkumar to me! I was in Blore when he was kidnapped by Veerappan and it was the worst time of my stay there. I’m just happy I wasnt there when he died.

     
  15. amitscorpio

    July 26, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Amrita: I am sure you would do a great job there!!!

     
  16. Kokonad

    July 26, 2007 at 5:15 pm

    Dr. Rajkumar… sigh… his “Eef you come today” song is so (unintentionally) funny and filled with puns we have made…!
    You’ve seen it Amrita, haven’t you?

    Btw, Amit already happens to have a roommate who is an agonized agony aunt (uncle).

     
  17. Amrita

    July 27, 2007 at 2:20 pm

    Amit – ha! More likely be run out of town!

    Koke: Hmm, anybody I know? 😀
    And please… no making fun of the good doc. some guy will come along and stone both our blogs. (btw, that video? to die!)

     
  18. Kokonad

    July 27, 2007 at 3:22 pm

    Talking of stoning blogs, I would love to have your say on this – http://kokonad.blogspot.com/2007/07/educationalists-suffer-from-dementia-ii.html
    🙂

     
  19. Amrita

    July 29, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    Koke, you deleted me comment 😦 I guess you guys made up. Good for you 🙂

     
  20. Kokonad

    July 29, 2007 at 8:31 pm

    Well, I didn’t want to get into anything. Sorry about that! 😦 More like forgive and …er… forget? 😛

     
  21. Amrita

    July 30, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    😛 you’ve made me want to write about it

     
 
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