They just can’t leave ol’ Sallu alone.In the wake of the Glasgow attacks, comes news from al Qaeda Number Two, the ever jolly Mr. Ayman al-Zawahiri. Addressed to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who’s currently experiencing the most exciting first month ever on a job, al-Zawahiri’s message comes complete with title: Malicious Britain and its Indian Slaves. Oh, snap!
He threatened “a very precise response” in retaliation against Britain for having knighted the controversial novelist in the Queen’s Birthday Honours last month.
Sabre rattling done, al-Zawahiri then called for a bit of Gandhigiri. It’s true! He said good Muslims, i.e. folks who agree with him, ought to boycott British goods and spin some khadi instead. Okay, so I made up the last bit but he did call for a boycott of Brit goodies.
Yeah, I bet the Brits are really crushed now that the mujahideen are going to cancel their order of Cadburys. I guess al-Zawahiri slept through his economics class.
So anyway, Brown came out and said the obvious i.e. the United Kingdom will knight whoever it feels like knighting, thank you very much. That’s not the fun part, though. The entertaining bit, for me, came later when I paid a visit to Rushdie’s wiki page and read all the other nutjob reactions he’s attracted.
I know it must be horribly wearying, to say the very least, to live under a death threat. The Iranians might have been the ones to come up with the idea but everybody from the Hezbollah down to Pakistani clerics have gotten into the fatwa with plenty of zeal and fervor. On the other hand you get stuff like this:
In 1990 a Pakistani film was released in which Rushdie… was depicted as plotting… to cause the downfall of “Pakistan, the stronghold of Islam” by opening a chain of casinos and discos in the country. The hero of the story… learns of the plot and decides to quit his day job as a police officer to recruit his unemployed brothers and create a mujahid (God’s soldiers) group to pursue Rushdie and slay him before the plot can go into effect. The film … “presents Rushdie as a Rambo-like figure pursued by four Pakistani guerillas” and surrounded by the Israeli armed forces. Rushdie is protrayed as “a smug, bespectacled butcher in a double-breasted suit, who lives in palatial splendor, [and who] personally slaughters his enemies with a huge blood-soaked sword”. In the end as the trio of brothers and their mother are being crucified by Rushdie, Allah frees them with bolts of lightning and “Rushdie is attacked by a quartet of floating holy books (the Koran, Tawrat, Zabur, and Injil), which shoot laser beams into his skull until he bursts into flame.”
May I suggest the above sterling piece of work to Osama bin Laden and his good buddy al-Zawahiri? It might cheer them up a little.