Sir Salman is Single

03 Jul

British model turned actress turned TV host, Padma Lakshmi has thought it over and she’d rather bring the sexy to Bravo’s Top Chef than home to Sir Salman Rushdie.

The couple has been battling unkind gossip and break up rumors ever since they first began dating. There was the age difference (more than 20 years), the “Beauty and the Beast” tag, the gold-digging opportunist charge against Padma, the midlife crisis charge against Rushdie, etc. Then came the rumors about how her steadily climbing career (across an ocean from him) was driving a wedge between the two.

Rushdie, of course, has lately been making headlines for a far more serious matter – outrage was felt in certain areas of the Muslim world when news broke of his knighthood by Queen Elizabeth for his contribution to the arts. There are multiple points of view about the decision to dub him ‘Sir’ Salman and the theory that seems to have generated maximum entertainment (for me) is the one that says the Brits were thumbing their nose at the Muslim world/Iranians.

We had effigy burning, flag burning, chest thumping, hoarse shouting, the Iranians in a tizzy, and Pakistanis conferring upon Osama bin Laden the singular (and unheard of) honor of the title “Sword of Allah”. That’ll teach them filthy Brits! When do we burn a KFC?*

I personally subscribe to the theory that the Brits simply forgot about the Iranian sentiment. I guess that’s more offensive in a way but I have this vision in my head of the committee that decides these things sitting around sipping tea and saying, “Salman Rushdie? Oh, I say, didn’t he have another book on the Booker list this year? And then there’s that wife of his. Jolly good, what!”

What? You’ve never heard of the British stereotype?

My faith in this scenario was only strengthened when I read that while Rushdie’s fatwas were being renewed, Westminster Cathedral was hosting Sir JohnTavener’s latest composition, The Beautiful Names, which had been commissioned by Prince Charles, the future head of the Anglican Church.

What is it about? The 99 names of God, taken from the Quran, set to music.

Anyway, Sir Salman is pretty used to the drill: Paddy Lax was his fourth wife. His spokesperson said: “Salman Rushdie has agreed to divorce his wife, Padma Lakshmi, because of her desire to end their marriage.”

Aww. Talk about a crappy few weeks.

Note: Have any of you noticed that anytime somebody gets pissed about the West, a KFC is the first to go? Think about it.


Posted by on July 3, 2007 in Celebrity, Entertainment, News


8 responses to “Sir Salman is Single

  1. Aspi

    July 3, 2007 at 10:56 am

    Amrita, this would be much more fun coming from you so how about digging up the other three wives and doing a post?

  2. amitscorpio

    July 3, 2007 at 11:58 am

    Yeah lets see how deep you can dig!!

    well another point made by Gaurav here

  3. Amrita

    July 3, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    Aspi – lemme see what I can do 🙂

    Amit – that link seems to be broken 😦 want to paste the url in? thanks

  4. amitscorpio

    July 3, 2007 at 2:11 pm

  5. Saakshi O. Juneja

    July 4, 2007 at 1:59 am

    Amrita, you know the title of this post is quite mis-leading. And I am talking about my Sallu baba here.

    However on the concerned topic : Who ever thought that “this” union would have lasted till Death do us apart, is a fool.

  6. Tanay

    July 4, 2007 at 2:10 am

    Amrita, for the KFC part, is it because its a sign of imperialism if not literally but in the minds of the populace or is it because one needs energy before going on a rampage and so attack a KFC and get food for free, hog hog and then rush into the aggressive act, hehe ( which one do you go for) 🙂

    Also don’t you think that Rushdie was thinking about Padma even before they met in person as one of the character in Midnight’s Children is named Padma, another is Parvati, which happens to be the real Padma’s middle name. Got it here

    Also the journey from knighthood to singlehood, may be recipe for his next novel, who knows 🙂

  7. DesiGirl

    July 4, 2007 at 4:18 am

    You so totally rock, dude! 😉

  8. Amrita

    July 4, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    That link was hilarious Amit 😀

    Saks – Lol!! I was going to initially title it Sallu Baba Single, Ready to Mingle but i thought disappointed Sallu fans might hack me or something. Did I still get you. hehehe.

    Tanay – oh, the latter definitely 😀 Maybe it’s also the face on the board. maybe they don’t like old white guys grinning at them when they’re all pissed off? Her name is Padma Parvati Lakshmi? HAHAHAHA! thanks for telling me that.

    DG – moi? 😳

%d bloggers like this: