Karan Johar & Rakhi Sawant Should Make a Baby

30 Apr

I hereby take back all my unkind thoughts about Karan Johar. Any man with the sheer genius to invite Rakhi Sawant on to his great big wet smooch on the butt of Indian celebritydom of a show (a.k.a. Koffee with Karan) deserves my vote. Forget Amitabh Bachchan, KJo for President, I say! The man has vision!

Look, I’m not a fan of Indian television. I used to be, back in the olden days when Doordarshan ruled the airwaves, Ekta Kappor was in kindergarten and none of us knew how good we had it, but these days I’d rather pass my time poking my eye repeatedly with a fork than watch what passes for entertainment on Indian TV. Okay, I exaggerate… but only by an utensil or so.

But when that same TV hands me an hour with the power to make me forget my vicious cold, the one that constantly makes me feel like I’m breathing egg-drop soup; ignore the powerful pull of sleep brought on by all the pills I’ve taken to kill the germs festering in my snot; and keeps my dad the impossible-to-please-critic in stitches – then, ladies and gentlemen, I know I’m watching greatness unfold.

It’s been pretty clear to me – and whoever else cared to pay attention – for a long while that Rakhi Sawant is the new punchline of snooty Bollywood.

She’s a publicity hound to end all publicity hounds in a industry full of them; she’s an unabashedly sexy item girl in a city where Mallika Sherawat roams around in a burkha (!); she carries her cheek implants, collagen (not silicon as she said, surely!) filled lips, botoxed forehead and silicon boobage with pride; admits to a live-in relationship when everybody around her is ‘buying apartments in the same building’; and she does all of this as if today were her last day on earth and she absolutely needs to get the word out before time runs out.

What she isn’t, is your typical Bollywood starlet –

  • She Spoke Hindi: Actually, she spoke in Hindustani. She was very upfront about the fact that her English isn’t very good and rather than make a faux pas on a show that was obviously very important to her, she wisely chose to continue in a language that made her comfortable.
  • She’s Absolutely Unselfconscious: She sang this song from her album Supergirl. It’s apparently this big hit? So I found the video on Youtube. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
  • She Made KJo Cry: Okay, so she didn’t. But she could have. Karan’s emotional range on this one episode was far greater than any of his films have ever achieved – hilarity, guilt, embarrassment, shock, sadness, concern, puzzlement… all culminating in that final tableau where he found himself trying to maintain peace between Z-Listers like Rahul Roy, Carol Gracias and Rakhi Sawant. Best. Show. Ever.
  • She Pulled No Punches: So Karan has this retarded ‘Rapid Fire Round’ on his show that he probably filched from the pages of The Babysitters Club or something similar. It apparently drives all his guests into a state of gibbering terror because Quick + Succinct + Coherent = Asking For Too Much in Bollywood. Rakhi on the other hand, had no problems letting her hair down, even giving KJo’s best buddy Shah Rukh Khan a 5/10 rating for sexiness. Why? Simple. “He doesn’t reveal, na!”
  • She’s a Mallika Sherawat Fan: Karan’s asked this question of other actresses a million times before: “Which contemporary movie heroine do you admire?” “Madhuri!” they’ll all chirp, safe in the knowledge that she’s all done and gone, comeback film or no comeback film. Rakhi is the first person I’ve heard mention an actual contemporary. I liked that.

Actually, I was really surprised by how much I liked this episode of Koffee. I didn’t think this was going to a hatchet job (KJo has enough professional courtesy to avoid that) but I did expect him to sit and giggle at her. I think he expected to sit and giggle at her too.

But there’s more to Rakhi Sawant than you expect. She might not be a role model yet the way she claims she is (“Fathers bring their little children to meet me and say their child wants to be just like me when they grow up!”), but she wasn’t half as annoying as some of the other people KJo’s had on his show.

Mika = Chewing Gum:

Randy Indian Team

[Originally published at]


Posted by on April 30, 2007 in Celebrity, Entertainment, News, Review, Television, Video


20 responses to “Karan Johar & Rakhi Sawant Should Make a Baby

  1. Kokonad

    May 1, 2007 at 12:50 am

    Hey… I am not a very big fan of high contrasts in colors… but yours looks pretty good. Also, do you have a thing for red – especially this kind?

  2. Kokonad

    May 1, 2007 at 1:04 am

    Oh and yeah… Why is Rakhi Sawant a celebrity? What has she really done to achieve such fame? We need to find a new word to lionize the “true achievers” – people who have actually done something worthwhile to deserve respect. *sigh*
    Nice post. 🙂

  3. Daman

    May 1, 2007 at 2:22 am

    thats a nice review.. every word is true … good job

  4. Amrita

    May 1, 2007 at 9:54 am

    Hey Koke, how’s it going? I do love the contrast in colors – I usually go for subtle colors but once in a while I get bored of myself. And I love red. I use it very very sparingly but I love it! As for the rest, Rakhi is a celeb because she made herself into one. She’s like India’s Paris Hilton and appropriately enough she isnt a high society chick 😀

    Daman – glad you agree. thanks. 🙂

  5. Prashanth

    May 1, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    What has she done to be a celebrity? She is HOT! She has all my respect 😀 And of course she is an achiever, in her own field, she is doing well. It all depends on your definition on achievement.

  6. DG

    May 3, 2007 at 4:16 am

    Rakhi Sawant + KJo = baby? Ye gods! How do you come up with these things? 🙂
    But wait – I thought he was rather happy with his plastique fantastique boyf?!

  7. Chimera

    May 3, 2007 at 4:21 am

    haven’t watched this show, since I agree with you that i have given up telly after Ms.Kekta Kapoor entered the scene.
    this line ‘Quick + Succinct + Coherent = Asking For Too Much in Bollywood.’ had me in splits.

  8. Amrita

    May 3, 2007 at 10:05 am

    You’ve all been so nice, I put up a couple of snippets. Enjoy!

  9. Sakshi

    May 3, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    Amrita : The title of this post simply takes me breath away…. 😉 And from now on you are proud member of the RSF Club, welcome on board babes!!!

  10. DesiGirl

    May 3, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    Is it just me or does KJo laugh just like SRK? Listen to the end bit abt the cricket team and tell me.

  11. Amrita

    May 4, 2007 at 10:36 am

    Saks – it’s all so pwetty on the dark side 😀

    DG – The last little stutter laugh? Now that you mention it…

  12. DG

    May 4, 2007 at 11:32 am

    I think they are cloning themselves. They are even beginning to look similar – scrawny, designer suit-boot, same naff laugh, same inane grins…. halp!

  13. Amith

    May 21, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    Rakhi Sawant is a true celebrity. She entertains so much that it is really inspiriing. Also, she is trutful and she is the only intersting and funny thing happening in India

  14. DG

    May 23, 2007 at 6:21 am

    good grief!

  15. amitscorpio

    June 18, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    saw the post a bit late.. .. i agree, this was the best episode KJo ever had. The girl projected herself as a clear cut middle class girl achieving this much!!

    About hindi, it seemed sometimes KJo tried to make her talk in english but she simply refused. bold step n i luv her for that ( and for a few more points too 😉 )

  16. Sushil Sharma

    June 27, 2007 at 5:33 am

    i totally agree with your comment on DD being a better on average bet than the current lot. When private channels were not allowed we heard lots of comments about how DD was only cinema oriented. But just look at what the channels on air offer…..

    I am not sure we would have ever been treated to a class film like “Mile sur mera tumhara” but for DD. Is any private channel likely to produce such a dramatic and appealing public service message? (Public service? Wozzat!!??)

  17. aroon

    August 26, 2007 at 1:31 am

    hheheheh.. i had seen this episode.. it was hillarious.. btw her silicon boobies have gone. she has removed em.. god knows wt she will show now.. her face is like a shit hole.. heheheh

  18. aroon

    August 26, 2007 at 1:32 am

    and ya am serious she doesnt have anything.. in mid day they had put a pic before after thingy.. man it was sad.. hehehehhe

  19. Amrita

    August 26, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    Well looky who the cat dragged in 😀 Been spending all your spare time on her boobies have you? 😛

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