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Running Away

09 Sep

You chose to run away.

Everyday you came back home and unpacked that invisible satchel. In that corner went the regrets, the other one was crowded with complaints. Scattered all around you were the remnants of your failures; the true monsters under the bed, waiting to surprise you unwary.

You said nothing. Everybody asked you where you’d been – how was the day – what did you do – who did you talk to and what about? They meant it kindly, unaware that you lived in a world all your own that they could never enter. “Nowhere,” you said. “It doesn’t matter,” you said. “Nothing,” you said.

All day you listened to other people talk. A smile for them, automatic and correct. A nod in agreement, handshake for goodbye, wave for hello, frown for concern, shrug to pass the buck. Questions to signify interest. Cloaks of invisibility are neither rare nor fantastic – you know them as quite ordinary gestures.

One day, you told yourself, you would leave all that behind. The secrets, the lies, the safe silences that left you unsure of your words when you finally let them form in your mouth. The questions, the codes, the stock answers that became transparent bricks of the wall around you.

Then why, now, do you feel abandoned this day? The chains have been cut, it is a liberation, you know. The ropes have been sawn through, you were set adrift, you feel.

A bird in the sky or a lion on the plains – neither; you are you. Solitary magnificence is for other creatures. Human beings live tethered. In yourself alone are you free.

Free to run.

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12 Comments

Posted by on September 9, 2010 in Life

 

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12 responses to “Running Away

  1. Piyush

    September 9, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    e-hug

     
  2. pitu

    September 9, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    ((hugs))

     
  3. sachita

    September 10, 2010 at 12:05 am

    hugs from me too..

     
  4. arooapm

    September 10, 2010 at 12:12 am

    this is absolutely true…if you want to be yourself you are going to be solitary reaper

     
  5. DewdropDream

    September 10, 2010 at 9:06 am

    *Hug*

     
  6. M

    September 10, 2010 at 9:33 am

    aw….hugs.

     
  7. Empowerment Engineer

    September 10, 2010 at 9:50 am

    Solidarity in solitude
    this place for the runners
    the fliers
    the ones who are out hunting life
    the ones who seek to go away and yet to find
    the pack
    of familiar runners, fliers
    and the others who are out hunting life

     
  8. Amrita

    September 10, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    You’re all sweethearts, but I’m fine. I was just trying out some new material :D

    EE – is that yours? It’s pretty good!

     
    • Empowerment Engineer

      September 10, 2010 at 4:28 pm

      It is. I just kind of made it up right here, while thinking about what you had written. Thank you :)

       
  9. Solitaire-y Reaper

    September 10, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Hey, Queen of I-run-eeee, you my biographer now? Btw, whatever happened to our NDA? :-P

    Also loved EE’s ditty on Solidarity (took me on a tangent to my b/w TV from childhood, lol).

    Timing wise, my boss (who overshares to me like I’m her shrink…well, she pays me after all) sent me this little note from her son Jack’s fourth grade teacher. Thought I’d (over)share:

    Students NEVER tell their parents how they are “doing” in school…and it gets worse as time goes by. Seventh and eighth graders tell their parents absolutely nothing.

    (Sometimes that’s a good thing)

    So let me know when we can get together and we’ll make sure Jack has a GREAT year.

    ciao and best

    jim

    PS: Not exactly unrelated note, but pertaining more to yu post on YA novels, ever since you got us paying attn to teen books, it’s all I’ve been browsing at, whenever I’m in Costco over the weekend. Last Sunday, the back page of this Kirsten Miller book caught my eye, but try as I might, I couldn’t locate it online (the words on the back cover, I mean; it talks about why we (irrationally) chase after the people we do). Btw, (read author note at link) any writer that loves goats has got my vote .

     
    • Arch

      September 10, 2010 at 10:55 pm

      New material soo good! reminds me of a melancholy strain sung alone in the field..

       
  10. Gradwolf

    September 12, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    This blog is going back in time? ;)

     
 
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