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Going Red

16 Jun

From 1 to 30 June 2010, Sunny Days is hosting the Red Marker Blogathon. If some word/phrase/idiom/spelling/syntax/punctuation incorrectly used drives you up the wall, blog about it.

The only rule is that you must explain what is wrong with the usage that it bothers you so and you must also explain the proper usage.

You can blog about any language you like, there is no need to restrain yourselves to English.

***

I’m really not that big of a grammar Nazi unless somebody’s pissed me off. Typos happen; not everybody is a nerd. And I personally like to take liberties and experiment with grammar and spelling when I blog. That’s really one of the main things I do here, actually. I just try not to come off as illiterate when I do it. The only time I start rolling my eyes is when people use SMS-ese when they have no reason to.  Every time someone tells me they “cnt”, I wonder why they’re calling me names. That said -

Why is everyone in India now promising to revert back? I appreciate the amount of dedication it takes to “get back to back” but I think it’s perfectly acceptable if you only “get back to” i.e. “revert” once.

Are you speechless I said that? Then why are you speaking? If ever you tell someone you’re speechless, remember you have to now stop talking. This is why I’m rarely speechless.

Did that make you loose your mind? Let me know when you tighten it up. Unless you’re one of those people who let their guts do their thinking for them – go ahead, invest in a good belt! Just make sure you don’t lose it.

Irrespective of your feelings, “irregardless” is not a word. You see how I used the double quotes there? That’s how you do it. Unlike these.

If only the above was needless to say, I wouldn’t need to say it.

I know what you’re thinking – you could care less. Well, let me know when you couldn’t care less.

Don’t thanks God. I haven’t finished yet. You can thank God when I’m done. If He’s a particular friend of yours or if He’s done you a favor recently, then please, say it with the proper punctuation – “Thanks, God!” See? So much more friendly.

Are you LOL-ing right now? Maybe you’re ROFL-ing. That’s fine if you’re trying to express yourself on the internet but in real life it is still permissible for you to open your mouth and laugh out loud the old-fashioned way. You don’t need to say, “LOL!” There are still people out there who recognize the meaning of those loud sounds coming out of your mouth. Trust me. If you feel the need to add emphasis, you could even roll on the floor laughing – providing your floors are clean and you’re unhinged.

Now this is more of a verbal tic that I notice but… I try not to preface any comments by informing the other person that I’m going to tell you the truth. If this is one of your favorite phrases, make sure you use it sparingly because the more you tell me you’re going to tell me the truth (implication: this one time), I have to wonder if you’ve been lying all the other times.

Is this quiet a long list? Well, since it contains no audio, yes it is very quiet. It is also quite a long list for someone who doesn’t really think about this stuff.

Do you notice how this post is easy to read? That’s because I use paragraphs. I now give you the power. Use it well, my friend.

I suppose you could riff off of this post, but I would really much rather you riffed off this post.

 
26 Comments

Posted by on June 16, 2010 in Life

 

Tags: , , , ,

26 responses to “Going Red

  1. pitu

    June 16, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    You know what drives me ‘KKrazzzy’? When educated people say “anywayS”. WHY do they add the ‘s’?! It’s ‘anyway’, people!

    Other peeves: sentences without punctuation where apparently there are no commas and or semi colons or periods or capitalization so it is really difficult to read you know and you cant tell when the sentence ends coz it runs on and on :P

    Also, bad SMSese spelling. No, KJo, there really is no justification for naming a movie ‘I Hate Luv Storys’. It should be ‘Stories’!

    And folks from India who say “I passed out in 2000″. Were you drunk and passed out on the nightclub loo floor? No, right? Then you ‘passed in 2000′ :P

    I once began a project in which I collected clippings of newspapers and magazines that misspelled the name ‘Gandhi’. Once I read an article in the NYT where it was spelled GHANDI. WTF is wrong with a newspaper of that stature not being able to check a name?!

    I’m too lazy to blog about it so I just wrote comments :D

     
  2. Wabi sabi

    June 16, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    You know, I used to be quite the grammar Nazi growing up. But not any more. Dunno y. I’m far more zen now in my acceptance of language improprieties.

    Sure, I slobber all over a perfectly crafted sentence, but I also find myself inexplicably drawn to the linguistically impermissible — stuff that used to raise my hackles once. Hate to sound like I’ve been bit by the remodernist bug or something, but so long as *I* am able to stare at a bunch of typo-riddled sentences and SMS-ese and come away seeing poetry, I’m a happy camper.

    I guess what I’m really trying to say (without coming off as condoning all who write carelessly) is that the good, the bad, the ugly writing, contrived or otherwise, has its part to play in how we process what we read.

    U looking at me going duh? OK, I’ve been embracing the writerly clowns out there with quite the camaraderie these days, don’t ask!! :-P

     
  3. le embrouille blogueur

    June 16, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Ah ha.I think I would like to do a post on this, though I think I would be super mean to some people.Which I guess is O.K. Because I “do not know nobody”. Great idea. Great post. Bravo !!

     
  4. Padma

    June 16, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    Very entertaining post :) Found you through Sue’s blog.

     
  5. dustedoff

    June 17, 2010 at 1:15 am

    … and people saying they’ll ‘defiantly’ be doing something, when what they really mean is definitely. But one of the best examples of not thinking while writing is a section I came across on a website where someone was describing an annual marathon that’s organised to aid breast cancer research. It’s named after a lady (I’ve forgotten her name) who was “unfortunately a breast cancer survivor”.

    Tut tut.

     
  6. B o o.

    June 17, 2010 at 5:03 am

    Paragraphs! It had to be said and Im glad you did. I mean how hard is to do break a long post into paragraphs?

     
  7. Temple

    June 17, 2010 at 9:23 am

    You made my day! I have exactly the same reaction whenever I see “cnt” in a text or email. I won’t get started on my other pet peeves as it is almost my bedtime and I may become overwrought.

     
  8. memsaab

    June 17, 2010 at 9:23 am

    I am guilty of saying “To tell you the truth” or “To be honest” because TO BE HONEST, I do lie to people sometimes. There, I’ve said it.

     
  9. Bala

    June 17, 2010 at 10:23 am

    well,I stopped getting riled up about grammar/punctuation a long time back (it helps that I am s/w engineer,a profession where people hardly speak and if they do its in speech designed to save time and client $s…or maybe it’s because they can’t !)Anyway,the thing that catches my goat is people using FAIL !! Aargh !!!Or as Pitu pointed out anyway…s ? What is that S doing hanging on to the rest of a perfectly good word ?Or if you understand tamil , the use of “orey the” …nah, I kinda like that :D

     
  10. Amrita

    June 17, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    @ Pitu – omg the GHANDI! It’s incredible, the number of people who use that! Anyways… :mrgreen:

    @ Wabi sabi – no, that’s how I feel too. From time to time anyway. A well done pomo sentence is a thing of rare beauty and talent.

    @ LEB – take it away! remember to leave Sue a link at her blog!

    @ Padma – thank you and welcome to the blog!

    @ dustedoff – bwahaha! HOW DARE SHE?!

    @ Boo – if only they broke it up, i’m sure they’d edit better too!

    @ Temple – oh that’s fun as long as you have someone waiting in said bed. :P

    @ memsaab – you’re turning into my hero by the day!

    @ Bala – LOL @ your mute profession! Speech FAIL! Sorry. :D

     
    • Wabi sabi

      June 17, 2010 at 5:22 pm

      Someone said something about ‘mendocino’ to me and here u sayin’ sumthin abouts pomo peeples, yes them’s who lives at “red earth hole”…oh I feels the kinships coming on, lol.

      Unrelated note: why u never reviews Tamil filims? Time to start. With “Paiyaa” that I saw yesterday… He takes the love of his life (who doesn’t know it yet, you never seen a tamil filim?) on a car-ride to Mumbai from Bengalooru; pulls up to answer nature’s call alongside the prettiest spot enroute; she presumes he read her mind and stopped for the great vistas and runs out to roll eyes at ravishing waterfalls, thanking him profusely as he heads over to the other side, unzips his pants and pisses away…”Aruvi kottardhu paaren” comes her childlike proclamation from one side…”Angeyumaa?” comes back his echo from the other side… speech FAIL!

       
  11. ajnabi

    June 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    ONE OF THE ONLY! Okay, sorry to yell, but seriously, “one of the only” is the one thing that will drive me up the wall. It’s either “one of the few” or “the only.” There are not multiple onlies! Grrr!

    Oh my goodness, that was so cathartic. I’m speechless now. Needless to say, irregardless of how that expression makes me loose my mind, I could care less about any other grammar don’ts, thanks God.

     
    • pitu

      June 17, 2010 at 8:38 pm

      *giggle* You just typed ‘loose my mind’ instead of ‘lose’. HEHEHE!!

       
      • ajnabi

        June 18, 2010 at 4:45 pm

        Dear God, I guess I *should* have added the winkie.

         
  12. Bala

    June 17, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    @ Amrita : aaargh !
    @Wabi sabi :you know how the psych folks claim that ones brain on occasion chooses to forget things that are traumatic to it ?Paiyya was one such experience.But now after your recollections ,the memories have come gushing back , kinda like an aruvi or an acid reflux !

     
    • Wabi sabi

      June 17, 2010 at 7:28 pm

      Hahaha and would you happen to be *that* Bala who grew up pretending to be Superman, jumping around with a bedsheet on your back from one sofa set to the other, decorating your family bed-room with ‘panju’ from hundreds of burst pillows, after you were done with your imaginary fight sequences with ‘em? Hmmm…

       
  13. Rahul

    June 17, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    The following pet peeve of mine is not strictly grammatical and some people even think its good for the language.But I really really hate it.So here goes. Believe it or not, i have heard the following phrases on Indian TV and from acquaintances.

    1.Salman Khan “Mujhey pata hai aap kaha se aa rahey hain.”
    (I know where you are coming from)
    2.Karan Johar “Is movie ka dil sahi jagah par hai”
    (The heart of the movie is in the right place)
    3. Main make up utaar ke \pahan ke aati hoon.

    4.Mai diet par ja raha hoon.

    5.Tum ye baat carpet ke neeche mat chhupao!!

    6.Wo dono ek doosre ke saath bahar ja rahe hain.
    (They are going out together).

    7.WO kiske baare mein tha?
    (What was THAT about?)

    8.Ab app acche haathon mein hain.

    I am thinking of writing a whole article like that.

     
    • Rahul

      June 17, 2010 at 7:43 pm

      9. Tumhe ChhoRne ki zaroorat hai.
      (you need to let go)

       
  14. Bala

    June 17, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    aiyyo, this is scary …where did you get that from ?

     
    • Wabi sabi

      June 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm

      From inside your own head only; din’t Amrita tell you? One of my “special” powers is the ability to get inside people’s heads, just as they’re having a “memories have come gushing back” moment, and then…and then…MUAHAHAHA. I can be evil like that. :-D

       
  15. subroto

    June 18, 2010 at 10:58 am

    ‘Hang on I’ll get back to you’ – that’s OK i keep a rope handy
    ‘You call is important to us’ – yep that’s why you’ve invested so much money in putting in an automated teleprompting service
    And stop asking me about my weekend, OK?

     
  16. rayshma

    June 18, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Have you heard KJo speak Hindi?! There’s the reason #1 that he needs, to stop making Hindi films. Sigh.
    That aside, I absolutely don’t get it when people (American Idol judges?) say “you killed it” when a contestant performs well.

     
  17. rayshma

    June 18, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    Oh, I’m stealing this tag! :)

     
  18. Chinkurli

    June 20, 2010 at 2:21 am

    Came here through Sue’s. Of all these, the “quiet” and “loose” irritate me the most. Oh, and DEFINATELY.

     
  19. Amrita

    June 21, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    @ Wabi S – I have thought about it but with Tamil I have the same problem as with Malayalam. I don’t know the language or the cinematic history as well as I do English and Hindi, but I understand enough so I can’t have an outsider lens on it the way I can with say, Bengali or Telugu or European movies. Basically, I don’t know how to approach writing about Tamil and Malayalam movies.
    That might change with Raavan though because I have a feeling Vikram would have been a much better fit in the Tamil version than AB Jr. in the Hindi.

    @ Ajnabi – ha, I haven’t seen anyone use that in a while. Thanks God!

    @ Rahul – BWAHAHAHHA!! Dude. Water out my nose. Esp. #s 5 and 9. 9 stinks. :mrgreen:

    @ Rayshma – you must! and leave a link at Sue’s.

    @ Subroto – who was it that said never ask anyone how they’re doing because that’s a half hour of your life that you’ll never get back? :D Someone mean and successful, no doubt.

    @ Chinkurly – I’ve to confess I’ve never really seen anyone use Definately but now I will defiantly be on the lookout for one. :D Welcome to the blog!

     
  20. Roop Rai

    September 7, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    Agree with most!

    but i really could care less about could care less. :p

     
 
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