I don’t know what the hell is going on in Arizona (crazed senior citizens!) but I thank them for giving me a new goal in life - to attend a taser party. Just like a tupperware party except it speeds up the killing process - now you no longer need to cook something awful, seal [...]
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American Idol just handed me the best Valentine’s Day gift that I have got in a while - they nixed 18 year old Josiah Leming from the Top 24. I was so sure this kid was going to make it when he turned on the tap at the end of the Hollywood Round and got [...]
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It’s the year of the Beagle!
Chalk one up for personality and melting brown eyes. Beagles: they’re noisy, sweet, beautiful (look at those ears! And those paws!), live a very long time and need homes. Now they’re also blue ribbon doggies.
His name is Uno and he’s a fifteen inch dreamboat (please, no offcolor jokes: he’s only [...]
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“Uncle,” said my cousin to my father over lunch. “You have a very high maintenance daughter.”
“Huh?” replied my hip (ha!) dad. “Speak English.”
“I am not!” I objected. “I merely like what I like - I don’t ask for special things. I just have decided opinions about what I want.”
“Right, I never said you were materialistic,” [...]
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I should probably write a few words about the Grammy’s but it’s not like any of you care and watching Improv Everywhere’s latest (above) made me wonder yet again - why don’t we have these things in India? If ever a country was made for staging a flash mob event, it’s India.
Think about it - [...]
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Alright! Alright! You’re a couple! I got the memo, ok? I saw the fugly ass monster tattoo, winced through the grainy video of Parikrama on stage, heard about the ring and know that you have a movie coming out this April. Mission accomplished yet? No? Okay, then: You’re a power-couple. There, I said it. Long [...]
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This is Kim Kardashian. If there was any justice in this world, she’d be on Star Trek (they still have something from that stable on the air, right? I know the movie is coming out), fighting Klingons and giving me endless opportunities to snark. Instead, here are the two things about her that you should [...]
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I am shocked. Shocked and saddened. Could I have been so caught up in my life the past couple of weeks that I failed to bring you news of the best thing that’s come out of the Middle East lately?
Ladies and gentlemen, meet Omar bin Laden, son of Osama bin Laden, Esq. Omar’s a lover, [...]
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Tomorrow is Super Tuesday in the United States - and I know most of you couldn’t care less. But you probably have an opinion anyway.
Today is probably the best day of the entire campaign cycle. All the minnows have dropped out, the frontrunners of both parties are clear but everything is still close [...]
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Um, yeah. That’s about it really. Nicholas Sarkozy, an oddly attractive man whose charisma (I don’t even speak French but he got my attention the one time I heard him give a speech) has only been strengthened by his lofty political office, married the Italy-born heiress/ model/ singer/ celebrity dater Carla Bruni. They’re a match [...]
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